Amazing Discovery

I have lilac trees! Who knew?

Amster Amster Dam Dam Dam!

Ok...I'm back from my trip over the pond. It sucked, btw. The Dutch are really snooty. I guess there are a lot of asshole Americans that just go over there to party and we all just get a bad rap, but still. No need to be so fucking snotty. We got there too early to check in, so we dropped our stuff off at the hotel and went to the Rijksmuseum, the Van Gogh museum and then Heineken. Came back, napped, ate Brazillian for dinner. We walked around a little and then went back to the hotel and watched some awful movie about a guy who anally rapes a hooker. Disturbing. The phone sex ads over there have actual naked chicks on them. The next day was Queen's Day. Don't go there for this. Ever. Too many fucking Dutch people. Although it was a good excuse to get drunk and wear orange. Also, Dutch women do not pee. There were outdoor urinals for men, but nothing for the bitches. We kept going back to the hotel. We walked a lot. I went to an outdoor market and got a really cool Nirvana bootleg. Sunday we went to the Anne Frank museum. I cried like a baby. I felt this deep heaviness that I can't explain. I couldn't breathe in that place. It was like I could feel the souls of the people who lived there. I can't explain it. It was so interesting and yet so unbelievably heavy...no other way to really explain this. I guess I'm just "sensitive" to these things. Then we went to this Guiness Cafe and were ther for, like, forever. Authentic Irish service! It took forever to get anything there. Then we took a canal cruise around the city. It was nice. Lots of cool pictures. After that, we went to the Black and White Cafe and drank and drank and drank. That was my favorite part of the trip. Monday we just shopped. I bought a cool new pair of Vans. Then we had Italian for dinner. Then took a walk to the red light district. I had a hard time making eye contact. But I caught this one girl giving me the "come fuck me" look. . My feet were hurting because I wore the Vans and they weren't broken in yet. So we went back to the hotel. The next day we left. But my wonderful husband managed to arrange for our cab driver to take us to see a windmill before going to the airport. My hero! And now I'm back. Guess what I found in my wallet today. 20 Euros. Oops! Guess I'll have to go back...