After the success of my mixed fruit and Midori Jello shots, I thought I'd try wild cherry and Absolut Vanilla Jello shots. I stopped off at Wal Mart, which I hate doing, but it's close. Not only did they have the wild cherry, but they had watermellon, too. I was pissed.
Better go cancel my ebay bid...
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Adventures In Grocery Shopping
I have some Midori on my liquor stand that I want to get rid of. I've also been thinking about making some Jello shots. I figued I'd kill two birds with one stone and make watermellon jello shots. Paul and I went out to dinner and did some other shopping. Then we went to three different grocery stores in a quest to find the watermellon Jello. It was nowhere to be found.
By this time it was about 9 pm. Paul and I were actually considering driving about an hour away to Wegmans, just for shits and giggles. After some thought, we were worried that we would get all the way over there and the place would be closed. So we called his Mom and asked her to call the store to find out what time they close and if they have watermellon Jello.
I'm sure she was thinking we were on serious drugs at this point, but a few minutes later she called back and told us (now, get this) that watermellon Jello is only available in spring and summer. Paul and I were just like, "wtf?" First, it's a little weird to make it seasonal (let's face it, it's not like it has natural flavoring or anything...it's fucking Jello, for crissake). And second, it just begged the question, did the guy she talked to have to look that up or did he just randomly know that watermellon Jello is a seasonal item (which turned out to be the case). How the hell did this guy just know something like that off the top of his head?
Then, just thinking aloud, I caught myself saying, "Well, maybe I can buy some on ebay." Where the hell did that come from??!?! What was I thinking? Why would I do that? And who the fuck would sell watermellon Jello on ebay?!?! I thought Paul was going to pee himself. Could you imagine spending $20 after shipping and handling on a fifty cent pack of Jello?
Not that I checked or anything...
By this time it was about 9 pm. Paul and I were actually considering driving about an hour away to Wegmans, just for shits and giggles. After some thought, we were worried that we would get all the way over there and the place would be closed. So we called his Mom and asked her to call the store to find out what time they close and if they have watermellon Jello.
I'm sure she was thinking we were on serious drugs at this point, but a few minutes later she called back and told us (now, get this) that watermellon Jello is only available in spring and summer. Paul and I were just like, "wtf?" First, it's a little weird to make it seasonal (let's face it, it's not like it has natural flavoring or anything...it's fucking Jello, for crissake). And second, it just begged the question, did the guy she talked to have to look that up or did he just randomly know that watermellon Jello is a seasonal item (which turned out to be the case). How the hell did this guy just know something like that off the top of his head?
Then, just thinking aloud, I caught myself saying, "Well, maybe I can buy some on ebay." Where the hell did that come from??!?! What was I thinking? Why would I do that? And who the fuck would sell watermellon Jello on ebay?!?! I thought Paul was going to pee himself. Could you imagine spending $20 after shipping and handling on a fifty cent pack of Jello?
Not that I checked or anything...
Tuesday, January 3, 2006
I Am A Marketing Manager's Wet Dream
So tonight, after work, I went straight to the Victoria's Secret Semi-Annual Sale. I think I should have still had the day off today. It should be a national holiday. Schools and post offices should close for this. I love this sale.
Today's Free Advice: If you go to this sale and buy lots and lots of bras and panties, like I do, make sure you wash all this stuff before you wear it. I've seen some of the people rummaging through the bins. It ain't pretty. And these people just touched your panties!
I got some good stuff, but the bras seem to be seriously lacking, at least for those of us who are well endowed. This IPEX shit that they're selling is awful. I don't want to squish them in! I want to boost them and point them at what I want so that some dumb guy gives it to me.
So, I left there and then grabbed coffee via the Starbucks' drive through. After the lady handed me my tall white chocolate mocha with skim milk, raspberry flavor and whipped cream (yeah, yeah, I know...), she said to the other girl working there "SHE went to Victoria's Secret today." I guess she saw my gigantic shiney pink bag. And that's when it hit me and I felt kinda ridiculous in my hybrid car, with my trendy underwear and $4 cup of coffee. What would Kerouac say?
Eh, who cares!
I came home and bought more panties on the VS website. And tomorrow, I might go on a hunt for more bras at a different Victoria's Secret.
I'm such a sucker.
Today's Free Advice: If you go to this sale and buy lots and lots of bras and panties, like I do, make sure you wash all this stuff before you wear it. I've seen some of the people rummaging through the bins. It ain't pretty. And these people just touched your panties!
I got some good stuff, but the bras seem to be seriously lacking, at least for those of us who are well endowed. This IPEX shit that they're selling is awful. I don't want to squish them in! I want to boost them and point them at what I want so that some dumb guy gives it to me.
So, I left there and then grabbed coffee via the Starbucks' drive through. After the lady handed me my tall white chocolate mocha with skim milk, raspberry flavor and whipped cream (yeah, yeah, I know...), she said to the other girl working there "SHE went to Victoria's Secret today." I guess she saw my gigantic shiney pink bag. And that's when it hit me and I felt kinda ridiculous in my hybrid car, with my trendy underwear and $4 cup of coffee. What would Kerouac say?
Eh, who cares!
I came home and bought more panties on the VS website. And tomorrow, I might go on a hunt for more bras at a different Victoria's Secret.
I'm such a sucker.
Sunday, January 1, 2006
Nothing Changes on New Year's Day
I thought about resolutions. And then I thought better.
The thing is, I could decide to quit my vices. I could give up things or begin things that will bring me closer to being "better," whatever the fuck that means. But then I'm denying myself who I am.
If I want a drink, I'm going to drink. If I'm too lazy or busy to excerise, fuck it. If I don't feel like going to bed early for the sake of a good night's sleep, I'm going to stay up and enjoy. If I want to swear like a sailor, then fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck FUCK!
And fuck anyone who stands in my way or makes me feel guilty about it.
Fuck you, society, for telling me to change!
I absolutely love how 2005 has been dubbed The Year of Natural Disasters. So true! I'd love to put all the shit behind us and move forward in 2006.
Here's to a new year. And here's to being yourself!
The thing is, I could decide to quit my vices. I could give up things or begin things that will bring me closer to being "better," whatever the fuck that means. But then I'm denying myself who I am.
If I want a drink, I'm going to drink. If I'm too lazy or busy to excerise, fuck it. If I don't feel like going to bed early for the sake of a good night's sleep, I'm going to stay up and enjoy. If I want to swear like a sailor, then fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck FUCK!
And fuck anyone who stands in my way or makes me feel guilty about it.
Fuck you, society, for telling me to change!
I absolutely love how 2005 has been dubbed The Year of Natural Disasters. So true! I'd love to put all the shit behind us and move forward in 2006.
Here's to a new year. And here's to being yourself!
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