So this morning, I went into work. The store was closed, but the office staff came in. I told my coworkers that I would be there at exactly 7 am. I goofed and forgot my lunch. I had to run back home, and got there slightly after everyone else. As a result, I had to open the gates myself. I flung the first one open and worried that the gate was going to fly back and hit my car. So I quickly drove through and jumped out of the car to close the gate.
Whoops! I forgot to do one tiny thing - put the car in park!
See, my car has this button that you push to put it in park. I forgot to push it. As I turned around after closing the gate, I saw it rolling towards the next gate. I started running after it. "NO NOOOOOO!" I almost caught up to it. Had I been wearing different shoes, I would have caught it. But no such luck and Yolanda, my little black Prius ran right into the gate making a crushing noise (or was that my heart?). Damn.
Fortunately, it was only the bumper that was damaged. I'll have to take it in in mid December for a new one. Merry Fucking Christmas to me!
Okay. Please stop laughing now.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Saturday, November 19, 2005
I Don't Have To Sell My Soul...He's Already In Me
I hate when I get a song stuck in my head that I'm not supposed to like. Anyone remember that song Kayleigh? "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to break your heart." That one. All fucking day today! I went through my vast collection of 80's crap hoping that it was on one of my compilations. No dice. Now I have to put all these CDs away. What a mess! But look! I found the Stone Roses! I haven't listened to this in years!
Anyway, if by some strange stroke of cosmic wierdness, someone reading this happens to have Kayleigh in their mp3 collection or what not and wouldn't mind passing it along to me, I'll be your best friend. And I promise not to reveal this deep dark secret to anyone or mock you mercilessly for it.
Love you all madly...
Anyway, if by some strange stroke of cosmic wierdness, someone reading this happens to have Kayleigh in their mp3 collection or what not and wouldn't mind passing it along to me, I'll be your best friend. And I promise not to reveal this deep dark secret to anyone or mock you mercilessly for it.
Love you all madly...
Friday, November 11, 2005
I Give You All You Need to Know - NIN at the Wack Off Arena 11/6/05
Eh.
Maybe it was because I was sick. Maybe it was because I knew the next day was going to be stressful and I wouldn't be getting much sleep. Maybe it was because I loathed the opening acts. I dunno.
First off, I have no clue who the first act was. It was two guys who seemed to have their music all pre-recorded and loud. And they mumbled through their name "We're....blah blah blah blah blah 1979 from Toronto!" Umm...okay...I have a headache. Next came Queens of the Stone Age. Now I know a lot of people really like them, but for the life of me, I just can't get into them. They played for way too long and the lead singer was an arrogant jerk. Right before they played the last song, they said, "We're Queens of the Stone Age" and apparently, some guy up front yelled, "And you suck!" This lead the lead singer into a five minute diatribe about fucking the guy's mother. Yeah, mother jokes are so cool. Get over it, dickslap.
In between acts, we were treated to the sound of white trash discussing President Bush's upcoming trip to the area and how ridiculous it is to buy a $6 beer.
Then NIN came on. They had this big curtain around them and all you saw were shadows at first. Very cool. Trent Reznor is so hot. I don't even care that he has a small penis. I'd fuck him anyway (sorry, Paul). And his voice! Then they raised the curtain during March of the Pigs and it got stuck. When my next husband sang "But doesn't it make you feel better?" he then said, "You know what would make me feel better? Getting the guy whose job it is to raise the curtain and punching him in the fucking face." Okay. I guess we have some rage issues. They played more stuff..."Wish," "Closer," etc. etc. Then they put the curtain back down and showed some creepy graphic kind of stuff like they usually do. I still don't get why all you freaks insist on dropping acid at these shows. I'd end up ripping my brain out of my head. But it was cool. They later played "Hurt" and "Only." Finally they finished with "Head Like a Hole" and even the dorky security guy was rocking out. The only thing that bothered me about the whole set (except, of course, for my sinuses) was that they didn't play "Heresy," which is my favorite.
I slept most of the way back home. Then I took off for Newark to fly out of my trip. I felt really really young telling all the people at work what I did the night before, especially when they kept saying, "I can't believe you were at the nine inch heels concert last night!"
Maybe it was because I was sick. Maybe it was because I knew the next day was going to be stressful and I wouldn't be getting much sleep. Maybe it was because I loathed the opening acts. I dunno.
First off, I have no clue who the first act was. It was two guys who seemed to have their music all pre-recorded and loud. And they mumbled through their name "We're....blah blah blah blah blah 1979 from Toronto!" Umm...okay...I have a headache. Next came Queens of the Stone Age. Now I know a lot of people really like them, but for the life of me, I just can't get into them. They played for way too long and the lead singer was an arrogant jerk. Right before they played the last song, they said, "We're Queens of the Stone Age" and apparently, some guy up front yelled, "And you suck!" This lead the lead singer into a five minute diatribe about fucking the guy's mother. Yeah, mother jokes are so cool. Get over it, dickslap.
In between acts, we were treated to the sound of white trash discussing President Bush's upcoming trip to the area and how ridiculous it is to buy a $6 beer.
Then NIN came on. They had this big curtain around them and all you saw were shadows at first. Very cool. Trent Reznor is so hot. I don't even care that he has a small penis. I'd fuck him anyway (sorry, Paul). And his voice! Then they raised the curtain during March of the Pigs and it got stuck. When my next husband sang "But doesn't it make you feel better?" he then said, "You know what would make me feel better? Getting the guy whose job it is to raise the curtain and punching him in the fucking face." Okay. I guess we have some rage issues. They played more stuff..."Wish," "Closer," etc. etc. Then they put the curtain back down and showed some creepy graphic kind of stuff like they usually do. I still don't get why all you freaks insist on dropping acid at these shows. I'd end up ripping my brain out of my head. But it was cool. They later played "Hurt" and "Only." Finally they finished with "Head Like a Hole" and even the dorky security guy was rocking out. The only thing that bothered me about the whole set (except, of course, for my sinuses) was that they didn't play "Heresy," which is my favorite.
I slept most of the way back home. Then I took off for Newark to fly out of my trip. I felt really really young telling all the people at work what I did the night before, especially when they kept saying, "I can't believe you were at the nine inch heels concert last night!"
Sunday, November 6, 2005
Last post for a while because I'm gettin' out of Dodge
These last few days and the days ahead are hell and I'll be glad when it's all over.
I just got back from judging a speech tournement all weekend. Of course the fun started Thursday night when Taco came in from NY. We ate gas station nachos for dinner and then went out drinking at the place that we used to go to on weekends when we were in college. On the way there, Taco gave me one bottle cap and we made jokes about having some cross words for the NY Times (Get it? Ha!) It was kind of dead. Some guy bought all of the jello shots (about 20 of them) and we were pissed because that was one of the things we were looking forward to. The bartender shamed the guy into giving us one each. At the end of the night, she started putting really bad music on to get us to leave sooner. We heard Milli Vanilli's "Blame It on the Rain" and Faster Pussycat's "House of Pain" and Firehouse's "Love of a Lifetime." We stayed at my dad's house and then started out for Bloomsburg the next day.
We were the first to arrive, except for these debate kids who ended up winning the tournement. I got stuck talking about debate, which I know very little of. But I try to bullshit my way about it because, well, I'm a judge and they have to kiss up to me a little. Then Paul and Griff showed up and we went to Naps for cheeseburger subs. Naps is famous for at one time employing Jimmi Simpson and being the place near campus that will deliver cigarettes when it's too cold to walk to the Unimart.
We went back, others got there, we judged. I hate when the really good stuff goes over time because I can't give them first place. What I hate even more than that is when the really bad stuff goes overtime. Ha! Forensics joke. It was a small tournement, so we had some downtime. A bunch of us went down to Russell's for a couple of Bob's Lemonades to make the rounds go better. Anyway, then we went to Denny's and the service was incredibly slow, but our waitress was very nice. I started to feel like shit because I have a bad cold. Dani ran home to get me some Cold Ease, but couldn't find it, so she gave me a Hershey's Kiss instead.
We went to the dance at the tournement hotel. I brought my hats from Holland. Some kids took them and danced with them. The one guy left with them and I sent Dani to go after him. He came back all scared and apologetic. Despite my cold, I had two beers and only seemed to feel ok if I was dancing. Griff dragged me into the bathroom at another point. I thought something was wrong. Turns out she wanted to point out that the tampon dispenser meets ADA requirements, but does not have Braille, is set very high up and doesn't have any kind of extra special knobs or anything. I thought it was funny, but maybe you had to be there. I decided that ADA in this case must stand for the American Dispenser Association.
And now for a commentary on the night's music:
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!? Okay let me explain. Maybe I'm a little sheltered in my world of classic/alternative/jam band music. There seemed to be this one part where the dj said, "Oh, you think that's bad? Wait until you hear this!" First there was this cutsie song that went "I wanna have sex on the beach..." really catchy, but annoying as hell. In fact, I'm pretty sure now that I've been thinking about it, it will be stuck in my head all day. That wouldn't be awful, but my father is visiting. Then after that, there was this whoriffic song that went "My face, my back, lick my pussy and my crack." Oooohhhhh kaaaaaay. THEN the dj played a song that was really techno trippy and all the guy in the song said was "Here comes the perculator...here comes the perculator." Paul looked at me at the point and said, "I don't even want to know what the perculator is." Chris started jonesing for coke and e. The dj was so awful that Griffy and I said that we weren't going to leave until he was done because we didn't want him to get off that easy by being allowed to leave early. We were then treated to "Do You Think I'm Sexy" and I sent Griff up to request "Emotional Rescue" just to make the suckfest complete. When she requested it, all he said was "No" and that was the end of the night.
Yesterday I judged persuasion and somehow got out of judging persuasion finals to get duo instead. It took some pleading. I also had to kick Ryan to get him to shut up.
We had Chinese for dinner, but I wasn't feeling good enough to really enjoy it. I ended up being the first to leave, which never happens.
I picked my dad up at about 11 pm because I'm taking him to the airport today. Then we have to turn around and drive all the way to Wilkes Barre to see NIN. My sister offered to take my dad to the airport, but for some reason he said no. I should have pushed the issue because I still have to pack for my business trip and right now I'm printing out a bunch of stuff for school that I'll have to look at while I'm gone (that's the only reason why I have time to even write this). Plus, I feel like shit.
So hopefully, by the time I get back, I'll still remember enough about tonight's show to write a recap. Until next time, kids...
I just got back from judging a speech tournement all weekend. Of course the fun started Thursday night when Taco came in from NY. We ate gas station nachos for dinner and then went out drinking at the place that we used to go to on weekends when we were in college. On the way there, Taco gave me one bottle cap and we made jokes about having some cross words for the NY Times (Get it? Ha!) It was kind of dead. Some guy bought all of the jello shots (about 20 of them) and we were pissed because that was one of the things we were looking forward to. The bartender shamed the guy into giving us one each. At the end of the night, she started putting really bad music on to get us to leave sooner. We heard Milli Vanilli's "Blame It on the Rain" and Faster Pussycat's "House of Pain" and Firehouse's "Love of a Lifetime." We stayed at my dad's house and then started out for Bloomsburg the next day.
We were the first to arrive, except for these debate kids who ended up winning the tournement. I got stuck talking about debate, which I know very little of. But I try to bullshit my way about it because, well, I'm a judge and they have to kiss up to me a little. Then Paul and Griff showed up and we went to Naps for cheeseburger subs. Naps is famous for at one time employing Jimmi Simpson and being the place near campus that will deliver cigarettes when it's too cold to walk to the Unimart.
We went back, others got there, we judged. I hate when the really good stuff goes over time because I can't give them first place. What I hate even more than that is when the really bad stuff goes overtime. Ha! Forensics joke. It was a small tournement, so we had some downtime. A bunch of us went down to Russell's for a couple of Bob's Lemonades to make the rounds go better. Anyway, then we went to Denny's and the service was incredibly slow, but our waitress was very nice. I started to feel like shit because I have a bad cold. Dani ran home to get me some Cold Ease, but couldn't find it, so she gave me a Hershey's Kiss instead.
We went to the dance at the tournement hotel. I brought my hats from Holland. Some kids took them and danced with them. The one guy left with them and I sent Dani to go after him. He came back all scared and apologetic. Despite my cold, I had two beers and only seemed to feel ok if I was dancing. Griff dragged me into the bathroom at another point. I thought something was wrong. Turns out she wanted to point out that the tampon dispenser meets ADA requirements, but does not have Braille, is set very high up and doesn't have any kind of extra special knobs or anything. I thought it was funny, but maybe you had to be there. I decided that ADA in this case must stand for the American Dispenser Association.
And now for a commentary on the night's music:
WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!? Okay let me explain. Maybe I'm a little sheltered in my world of classic/alternative/jam band music. There seemed to be this one part where the dj said, "Oh, you think that's bad? Wait until you hear this!" First there was this cutsie song that went "I wanna have sex on the beach..." really catchy, but annoying as hell. In fact, I'm pretty sure now that I've been thinking about it, it will be stuck in my head all day. That wouldn't be awful, but my father is visiting. Then after that, there was this whoriffic song that went "My face, my back, lick my pussy and my crack." Oooohhhhh kaaaaaay. THEN the dj played a song that was really techno trippy and all the guy in the song said was "Here comes the perculator...here comes the perculator." Paul looked at me at the point and said, "I don't even want to know what the perculator is." Chris started jonesing for coke and e. The dj was so awful that Griffy and I said that we weren't going to leave until he was done because we didn't want him to get off that easy by being allowed to leave early. We were then treated to "Do You Think I'm Sexy" and I sent Griff up to request "Emotional Rescue" just to make the suckfest complete. When she requested it, all he said was "No" and that was the end of the night.
Yesterday I judged persuasion and somehow got out of judging persuasion finals to get duo instead. It took some pleading. I also had to kick Ryan to get him to shut up.
We had Chinese for dinner, but I wasn't feeling good enough to really enjoy it. I ended up being the first to leave, which never happens.
I picked my dad up at about 11 pm because I'm taking him to the airport today. Then we have to turn around and drive all the way to Wilkes Barre to see NIN. My sister offered to take my dad to the airport, but for some reason he said no. I should have pushed the issue because I still have to pack for my business trip and right now I'm printing out a bunch of stuff for school that I'll have to look at while I'm gone (that's the only reason why I have time to even write this). Plus, I feel like shit.
So hopefully, by the time I get back, I'll still remember enough about tonight's show to write a recap. Until next time, kids...
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