Paul McCartney once sang, “You’d think that people would have had enough of silly love songs. But I look around me and I see it isn’t so.” Who am I to argue with a Beatle? There are definitely a lot of silly love songs out there that people inexplicably love. With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I’d imagine there are people making mix CDs for their lovers or putting together play lists for a romantic evening. Here is a list of songs you should avoid.
1. My Heart Will Go On (Love Theme from Titanic) – Celine Dion
Annoying lyrics: “Once more you open the door and you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on.”
The lyrics to this song were inspired by the movie. She’s singing about moving on after her lovah suddenly becomes fish food because someone didn’t have the sense to make a left turn. So what you’re basically telling your loved one by playing this song is that after they die, you’ll be perfectly fine getting over it and finding someone else. Yeah, yeah, I love you and all, but once you’re gone I’ll keep on moving, probably finding someone younger, hotter and less sickly. The lyric above reminds me of a different movie – Poltergeist. All I can ever envision is a door opening with bright light coming from the other side. Go into the light, Celine. Please, go into the light.
Also, if I were Grover, I’d be pissed and suing for copyright infringement.
2. (Everything I Do) I Do It For You ~ Bryan Adams
Annoying lyrics: There's nowhere unless you're there, all the time, all the way.
Geez! Clingy much? More proof that people will eat any single released from a big movie soundtrack with the spoon straw from the Icee they had at the theater. When I was in tenth grade, I wrote an essay about why this song was so popular. I don’t know how I did it because the song’s popularity still baffles me. I got a really great grade on the paper, despite the song being my teacher’s wedding song. Oopsy. David Duke used this as his campaign song when he ran for Louisiana governor. Further proof that it’s creepy and overdone.
3. More Than Words ~ Extreme
Annoying lyrics: All you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands
You know this song is about a hand job, right? He’s basically saying, “Bitch, I don’t want to hear you say that you love me. Just do me.” He’s asking nicely but I get the feeling that the follow up song would somehow imply that if she doesn’t shut up with the “I love you’s” he’s going to put something in her mouth to make her shut up. This isn’t even a thinly veiled request. It’s outright piggish. Ladies, you don't have to help a guy put Mr. Kleenex's kids through college. And men, you’ll never get laid with this line of thinking. At least schmooze your way into her pants. Or give her some scotch.
4. Just The Way You Are ~ Billy Joel
Annoying lyrics: I would not leave you in times of trouble. We never could have come this far.
This would be much more believable if Billy Joel hadn’t sung it three wives before, each one younger and hotter than the last. We’re not buying it, pal. And ladies, don’t let yourselves go if your husband is a superficial alcoholic prick. He really will try to replace you with a supermodel. Then again, you might be better off.
5. Always On My Mind ~ Willie Nelson
Annoying lyrics: If I made you feel second best, girl, I'm sorry I was blind. You were always on my mind. You were always on my mind.
Dude, you blew it. It’s too little too late. She’s moving on because you were too busy sitting around with your buddies smoking pot on the couch and watching Animal House. And now you’re sitting around missing her because you want someone to bring you beer and pizza to soothe your munchies. Writing a pretty song that people play at weddings ain’t gonna cut it. She’s not as dumb as you are to fall for it.
6. Wonderful Tonight ~ Eric Clapton
Annoying lyrics: And then she asks me, “Do I look alright?” And I say, “Yes, you look wonderful tonight.”
Eric Clapton might be the biggest pussy in rock and roll history. I almost put “Bell Bottom Blues” on this list because of the lyrics “Do you want to seem me crawl across the floor to you? Do you want to see me beg you to take me back? Well, I’d gladly do it.” Gladly? You’d gladly look like a pathetic idiot? She made you cry! Is her hoo ha lined with mink or something? I left that song off the list because I actually like it, though. “Wonderful Tonight” sucks because you know this high maintenance bitch is taking way too much time getting ready. They’re probably really late. And yet, he takes the time to watch her and look her over. In real life, in the non-whipped man world, the guy would be like, “Yeah, yeah, you’re fine. Come on! Let’s go already. The car’s running!” Dude, you’re Eric Fucking Clapton. You’re on T-Mobile commercials! And people say you’re a good guitarist. You don’t need to put up with these chicks and their head games. And you’re only encouraging her high maintenance behavior.
7. Beth ~ Kiss
Annoying lyrics: I'm always somewhere else and you're always there alone
You know this song is bad because I like Kiss. And it made the list before “I Still Love You” and “Forever,” which are horrible, horrible songs. This song started out as a goof when Peter Criss was in a band called Chelsea with a guy named Mike Brand. Mike’s wife, Becky, would call constantly during band practices to see when he was coming home and was a general hen pecking pain in the ass. So Peter and another band mate, Stan Penridge, wrote the song as a goof and called it “Beck.” Years later, Gene Simmons and Bob Ezrin got their money grubbing hands on it, pussified it and changed the title. But basically, what this song says is that your lady is a nagging pain in the ass. Just what every woman wants to be.
8. Back for Good ~ Take That
Annoying lyrics: Whatever I said, whatever I did, I didn’t mean it. I just want you back for good.
This guy isn’t even trying. He has no clue what he did wrong. There is nothing sincere about his mea culpa. There is no chance at all that he will correct his mistake. He’s also likely to repeat it. To top it all off, he’s being selfish and only worrying about what HE wants. Fuck off, buddy. A little sincerity would go much further.
9. The Rose ~ Bette Midler
Annoying lyrics: All of them
In every high school in every small town, there is an awkward teenage girl singing this song for the spring choral concert. Do you really want to remind your beloved of her awkward teenage years?
10. I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing ~ Aerosmith
Annoying lyrics: I could stay awake just to hear you breathin’, watch you smile while you are sleeping while you're far away and dreaming.
People don’t usually smile in their sleep. They drool and snore. This is just another overrated hit from another epic movie. It conjures visions of passionate love through a scene that is bound to give you all sorts of warm fuzzies. Of course I am referring to the movie The Sweetest Thing. The scene is the one where Selma Blair gets her braces stuck while giving oral pleasure. The rest of the cast saves the day by singing this song to make the guy’s penis go soft. Do you really want to romance your sweetie with a song that should be sung by Flacido Domingo? Why don’t you serve her boneless pork while you’re at it
And lest you think I'm a music snob or a heartless, cynical bitch (okay, you got me on that one), you can read a list of my favorite love songs in this classic blog from 2006 by clicking here.
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
A good song is a good song no matter who sings it
Lionel Richie and Quincy Jones have done it again.
Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure by now you’ve heard that this week they produced a new version of “We Are the World” to benefit the earthquake victims of Haiti. The recording features many hot acts, old and new. Many music fans are upset that the recording did not include any of the artists featured on the original track. The reasons for this are clear to me. Why remake something if you’re going to use the same people? Sure, they could have kept a few of the originals but many of those people are not relevant to today’s youth. Think about it. If The Lettermen, Peter, Paul and Mary, or KC and the Sunshine Band had been on the original recording, would our generation have really thought it to be all that cool? In fact, to me, the part of that song that sucks the hardest is where Bob Dylan sings, even though I love his other recorded works. Young people are the target market for this song. They know people of our generation are probably going to dismiss it as “not being as good as the original,” no matter who sings it. They have to reel in a younger demographic.
Throwing a wrench into my whole theory are names like Tony Bennett, Celine Dion and Barbara Striesand, who reported took 76 takes for her part because she wanted it to be perfect. Fucking Diva. These names are not as trendy and don’t seem to fit. Although they all have great voices to their merits and hopefully will bring something to the song. Still, other big names seem to be glaringly absent – Madonna, Alicia Keys and Lady Gaga, who reportedly did not return calls to participate. They should have been there. Perhaps they just wrote big donations on their own.
I don’t mind remakes all that much. Some of my favorite songs are remakes. For example, Tracy Ulman’s version of the golden oldie “Bobby’s Girl” always makes me smile. I love when Ace Frehley covers “Do Ya,” “Fox on the Run,” and “Back in the New York Groove.” Come to think of it, my favorite Ace Frehley songs are all covers. Everclear does a great rendition of Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back in Town.” I love when newer artists cover 80’s songs, like when Killers do Joy Divisions’ “Shadow Play.” I love Gwen Stefani’s version of “It’s My Life.” The other night, an episode of One Tree Hill featured covers of The Cure’s “Lovecats” and The Thompson Twins, “If You Were Here,” among others. A quick glance at my iTunes playlists would show you some interesting covers such as MoZella’s version of “Say It Ain’t So” and Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt.” My all time favorite cover, hands down, would have to be Obidiah Parker’s interpretation of OutKast’s “Hey Ya.” Who doesn’t like “Hey Ya?” In this version, you can just imagine him sitting in a coffee house with his guitar asking the musical question, “If they say that nothing lasts forever, then what makes love the exception?” If the original wasn’t so bouncy, I might actually like this version better.
This theory does not apply to Tori Amos’ cover of Eminem’s “Just the Two of Us.” I suppose the argument could be made that it was never a good song in the first place. Still, cover songs should be given a chance and not hated before heard.
Now, will someone please explain to me why Vince Vaughn was at the “We Are the World” recording session? Is he the new Dan Akroyd?
Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure by now you’ve heard that this week they produced a new version of “We Are the World” to benefit the earthquake victims of Haiti. The recording features many hot acts, old and new. Many music fans are upset that the recording did not include any of the artists featured on the original track. The reasons for this are clear to me. Why remake something if you’re going to use the same people? Sure, they could have kept a few of the originals but many of those people are not relevant to today’s youth. Think about it. If The Lettermen, Peter, Paul and Mary, or KC and the Sunshine Band had been on the original recording, would our generation have really thought it to be all that cool? In fact, to me, the part of that song that sucks the hardest is where Bob Dylan sings, even though I love his other recorded works. Young people are the target market for this song. They know people of our generation are probably going to dismiss it as “not being as good as the original,” no matter who sings it. They have to reel in a younger demographic.
Throwing a wrench into my whole theory are names like Tony Bennett, Celine Dion and Barbara Striesand, who reported took 76 takes for her part because she wanted it to be perfect. Fucking Diva. These names are not as trendy and don’t seem to fit. Although they all have great voices to their merits and hopefully will bring something to the song. Still, other big names seem to be glaringly absent – Madonna, Alicia Keys and Lady Gaga, who reportedly did not return calls to participate. They should have been there. Perhaps they just wrote big donations on their own.
I don’t mind remakes all that much. Some of my favorite songs are remakes. For example, Tracy Ulman’s version of the golden oldie “Bobby’s Girl” always makes me smile. I love when Ace Frehley covers “Do Ya,” “Fox on the Run,” and “Back in the New York Groove.” Come to think of it, my favorite Ace Frehley songs are all covers. Everclear does a great rendition of Thin Lizzy’s “The Boys Are Back in Town.” I love when newer artists cover 80’s songs, like when Killers do Joy Divisions’ “Shadow Play.” I love Gwen Stefani’s version of “It’s My Life.” The other night, an episode of One Tree Hill featured covers of The Cure’s “Lovecats” and The Thompson Twins, “If You Were Here,” among others. A quick glance at my iTunes playlists would show you some interesting covers such as MoZella’s version of “Say It Ain’t So” and Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt.” My all time favorite cover, hands down, would have to be Obidiah Parker’s interpretation of OutKast’s “Hey Ya.” Who doesn’t like “Hey Ya?” In this version, you can just imagine him sitting in a coffee house with his guitar asking the musical question, “If they say that nothing lasts forever, then what makes love the exception?” If the original wasn’t so bouncy, I might actually like this version better.
This theory does not apply to Tori Amos’ cover of Eminem’s “Just the Two of Us.” I suppose the argument could be made that it was never a good song in the first place. Still, cover songs should be given a chance and not hated before heard.
Now, will someone please explain to me why Vince Vaughn was at the “We Are the World” recording session? Is he the new Dan Akroyd?
Saturday, February 3, 2007
10 CDs That Never Get Old
I'm extremely fickle and get bored with things easily. And given the scientific fact that our bodies renew our cells every seven to ten years, causing tastes to change, it's a miracle that anything remains constant in my world. But I seem to always find myself gravitating towards these CDs during good times and bad. Some of which have been favorites for many many years.
Counting them down...
10. Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree
Best Tracks: "Dance, Dance," "Sugar We're Going Down," "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me.'"
Favorite lyrics: "I don't blame you for being you but can you blame me for hating it?"
This is the most recent on the list. Am I too old to like Fall Out Boy? Am I uncool for this since they're now "way too mainstream" according to all those little emo brats? I will hand it to this whole emo revolution (and yes, I say revolution because if you look at the music surrounding historical periods of war, you'll notice vast changes in musical tastes and popularity...in the 60's we saw the rise of folk rock...shortly after the Gulf War of the 90's we saw grunge, etc. etc.), we're getting the best heart wrenching lyrics out of these pussy boys. Every time I listen to this CD I discover new lyrics. And the tunes are pretty catchy as well.
9. Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting
Best tracks: title track, "Caroline," "Lullaby," "Tomorrow," "Wendy"
Favorite lyrics: "I've got the ways and means to New Orleans, I'm going down by the river where it's warm and green, I'm gonna have a drink and walk around, I've got a lot to think about"
Most people probably know the song "Joey" on this CD, but there is a lot more on it. And quite frankly, that might be the worst song on here. I used to sit in my basement and sing along to this for hours. And I was amazed to find it on the juke box at my favorite bar recently. You always know when I'm there because I'm usually playing something from this CD.
8. Judybats - Down in the Shacks Where the Satellite Dishes Grow
Best tracks: "Our Story," "How it Is," "Lullaby (Weren't We Wild)," "When Things Get Slow Around Here"
Favorite lyrics: "Good love is easy to find, but it's hard to keep, and though I hate it when you wake, I still love to watch you sleep"
It was hard to pick a favorite Judy Bats CD because I love them all. Although, I've probably played "Native Son" more than any CD I own and "Pain Makes You Beautiful" is usually my comfort CD. I listen to that one on my way to uncomfortable places like job interviews and the gynecologist. This CD is just fun. I remember being so excited when it came out. Every now and then another Judy Bats fan surfaces. But they seem to be few and far between.
7. Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Best tracks: "Don't Look Back in Anger," "Champagne Supernova," "Wonderwall"
Favorite lyrics: "Take me to the place where you go, where nobody knows, if it's night or day"
Also known as the "What the fuck did I do last night?" CD because, when I first turned 21, I would come home and play this all night as I fell asleep. And yes, I realize that I'm choosing the more popular songs as favorites here. But this is probably one of the few instances where I will keep an overplayed song on the radio if I hear it. I think that's the true test of a CD that I could never get sick of. I fully recognize the songs are overdone, yet I still like them. That rarely happens.
6. The Rolling Stones - Some Girls
Best Tracks: "Before They Make Me Run," "Far Away Eyes," "Just My Imagination," "Respectable"
Favorite lyrics: "I wasn't looking too good but I was feeling real well"
I'll admit this is not the best Rolling Stones CD, but it's the only one that I can honestly say I like every single track. The other CD's have those typical warhorses on them ("Jumpin' Jack Flash," "Start Me Up," etc.). I also love Ron Wood. And they put out very few good CDs with him.
5. Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Best tracks: "Anna Begins," "Murder of One," "Round Here," "Raining in Baltimore"
Favorite lyrics: "And every time she sneezes I believe it's love and oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing"
This is more of a sentimental favorite than anything. I bucked the CD trend for years because I only had a tape player in my car. This was the first CD I bought. And I still play it a lot when I'm writing or when I was doing homework.
4. The Wallflowers - Bringing Down the Horse
Best tracks: "Laughing Out Loud," "God Don't Make Lonely Girls," "The Difference," "One Headlight," "6th Avenue Heartache"
Favorite lyrics: "It smells of cheap wine and cigarettes, this place is always such a mess, sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn"
Again, I know I'm picking the more popular songs on the CD, but it all goes back to the same drunken time period. I remember dancing to this with my sister at the Citz on a Sunday night. There are also a lot of great lyrics on this one to choose from. And I also remember back in college whenever we'd see the video to "One Headlight," Taco and I would point at the TV and say, "I'd fuck that." Years later, I met Jakob Dylan outside of the TLA in Philly. It totally ruined everything for me. His skin seemed a little yellow. He was all bundled up. His eyes were gorgeous, but in no way rivaled G Love's.
3. Mike Doughty - Skittish/Rockity Roll
Best Tracks: "Rising Sign," "The Only Answer," "Looks," "Down on the River by the Sugar Plant"
Favorite Lyrics: "You were the only answer, my plans spun all around you, five years in the wrong I am assured, my name to you is just another word"
I'm cheating. I own this CD as two separate CDs. I bought them long before they were released as one and Mike even signed my copy of Skittish when I saw him in Seattle. I made an ass out of myself by asking him about his cover of Mary J Blidge's "Real Love," mentioning that was the main reason why I was buying the CD. But, I'm nothing if not honest. This stuff sounds different from the typical Soul Coughing stuff, but similar enough to still be enjoyable. The guy went through some hard times, but cleaned up his act. And he's ok to talk to at his shows. He's actually not a dick.
2. Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes
Best tracks: "Mother," "China," "Precious Things," "Happy Phantom," "Leather"
Favorite lyrics: "I walked into your dream and now I've forgotten how to dream my own dream, you are a clever one aren't you?"
Even in high school I suffered from insomnia. I used to take naps after school and then sit in my living room and do homework at 3 AM. Circa 1991, MTV played the weirdest shit at that hour. That was when I saw my first Tori Amos video. I believe it was "Silent All These Years." And I've loved her ever since. I would actually sit there writing essays, hoping that the video would come on. Years later, after seeing her in concert a bunch of times and listening to subsequent releases, this is still my favorite. I sometimes feel that she actually got worse over time.
1. The Pixies - Doolittle
Best tracks: "Debaser," "Wave of Mutilation," "Hey," "Monkey Gone to Heaven"
Favorite lyrics: "If the ground's not cold everything is gonna burn, we'll all take turns, I'll get mine too"
This is my everything CD. I listen to it when I'm nervous, especially when I'm throwing parties. I play it when I know I'm going to be in an uncomfortable situation. I play it when I'm happy. I play it when I need a boost. I play it when I lay out in the sun. I originally bought this on tape the weekend my grandmother died. Maybe that has something to do with it. All I know is that it's always been my favorite. And nothing has ever really rivaled it.
Honorable mention goes to:
Me First and Gimme Gimmes - Have a Ball
Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill
Live - Throwing Copper
Flyleaf - Self titled
Moxy Fruvous - Bargainville
Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars
Social Distortion - Self titled
Anthrax - Attack of the Killer B's
Barenaked Ladies - Rock Spectacle
Ned's Atomic Dustbin - God Fodder
Singles - Soundtrack
Pearl Jam - Ten
Thin Lizzy - Peel Sessions
Counting them down...
10. Fall Out Boy - From Under the Cork Tree
Best Tracks: "Dance, Dance," "Sugar We're Going Down," "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me.'"
Favorite lyrics: "I don't blame you for being you but can you blame me for hating it?"
This is the most recent on the list. Am I too old to like Fall Out Boy? Am I uncool for this since they're now "way too mainstream" according to all those little emo brats? I will hand it to this whole emo revolution (and yes, I say revolution because if you look at the music surrounding historical periods of war, you'll notice vast changes in musical tastes and popularity...in the 60's we saw the rise of folk rock...shortly after the Gulf War of the 90's we saw grunge, etc. etc.), we're getting the best heart wrenching lyrics out of these pussy boys. Every time I listen to this CD I discover new lyrics. And the tunes are pretty catchy as well.
9. Concrete Blonde - Bloodletting
Best tracks: title track, "Caroline," "Lullaby," "Tomorrow," "Wendy"
Favorite lyrics: "I've got the ways and means to New Orleans, I'm going down by the river where it's warm and green, I'm gonna have a drink and walk around, I've got a lot to think about"
Most people probably know the song "Joey" on this CD, but there is a lot more on it. And quite frankly, that might be the worst song on here. I used to sit in my basement and sing along to this for hours. And I was amazed to find it on the juke box at my favorite bar recently. You always know when I'm there because I'm usually playing something from this CD.
8. Judybats - Down in the Shacks Where the Satellite Dishes Grow
Best tracks: "Our Story," "How it Is," "Lullaby (Weren't We Wild)," "When Things Get Slow Around Here"
Favorite lyrics: "Good love is easy to find, but it's hard to keep, and though I hate it when you wake, I still love to watch you sleep"
It was hard to pick a favorite Judy Bats CD because I love them all. Although, I've probably played "Native Son" more than any CD I own and "Pain Makes You Beautiful" is usually my comfort CD. I listen to that one on my way to uncomfortable places like job interviews and the gynecologist. This CD is just fun. I remember being so excited when it came out. Every now and then another Judy Bats fan surfaces. But they seem to be few and far between.
7. Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
Best tracks: "Don't Look Back in Anger," "Champagne Supernova," "Wonderwall"
Favorite lyrics: "Take me to the place where you go, where nobody knows, if it's night or day"
Also known as the "What the fuck did I do last night?" CD because, when I first turned 21, I would come home and play this all night as I fell asleep. And yes, I realize that I'm choosing the more popular songs as favorites here. But this is probably one of the few instances where I will keep an overplayed song on the radio if I hear it. I think that's the true test of a CD that I could never get sick of. I fully recognize the songs are overdone, yet I still like them. That rarely happens.
6. The Rolling Stones - Some Girls
Best Tracks: "Before They Make Me Run," "Far Away Eyes," "Just My Imagination," "Respectable"
Favorite lyrics: "I wasn't looking too good but I was feeling real well"
I'll admit this is not the best Rolling Stones CD, but it's the only one that I can honestly say I like every single track. The other CD's have those typical warhorses on them ("Jumpin' Jack Flash," "Start Me Up," etc.). I also love Ron Wood. And they put out very few good CDs with him.
5. Counting Crows - August and Everything After
Best tracks: "Anna Begins," "Murder of One," "Round Here," "Raining in Baltimore"
Favorite lyrics: "And every time she sneezes I believe it's love and oh lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing"
This is more of a sentimental favorite than anything. I bucked the CD trend for years because I only had a tape player in my car. This was the first CD I bought. And I still play it a lot when I'm writing or when I was doing homework.
4. The Wallflowers - Bringing Down the Horse
Best tracks: "Laughing Out Loud," "God Don't Make Lonely Girls," "The Difference," "One Headlight," "6th Avenue Heartache"
Favorite lyrics: "It smells of cheap wine and cigarettes, this place is always such a mess, sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn"
Again, I know I'm picking the more popular songs on the CD, but it all goes back to the same drunken time period. I remember dancing to this with my sister at the Citz on a Sunday night. There are also a lot of great lyrics on this one to choose from. And I also remember back in college whenever we'd see the video to "One Headlight," Taco and I would point at the TV and say, "I'd fuck that." Years later, I met Jakob Dylan outside of the TLA in Philly. It totally ruined everything for me. His skin seemed a little yellow. He was all bundled up. His eyes were gorgeous, but in no way rivaled G Love's.
3. Mike Doughty - Skittish/Rockity Roll
Best Tracks: "Rising Sign," "The Only Answer," "Looks," "Down on the River by the Sugar Plant"
Favorite Lyrics: "You were the only answer, my plans spun all around you, five years in the wrong I am assured, my name to you is just another word"
I'm cheating. I own this CD as two separate CDs. I bought them long before they were released as one and Mike even signed my copy of Skittish when I saw him in Seattle. I made an ass out of myself by asking him about his cover of Mary J Blidge's "Real Love," mentioning that was the main reason why I was buying the CD. But, I'm nothing if not honest. This stuff sounds different from the typical Soul Coughing stuff, but similar enough to still be enjoyable. The guy went through some hard times, but cleaned up his act. And he's ok to talk to at his shows. He's actually not a dick.
2. Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes
Best tracks: "Mother," "China," "Precious Things," "Happy Phantom," "Leather"
Favorite lyrics: "I walked into your dream and now I've forgotten how to dream my own dream, you are a clever one aren't you?"
Even in high school I suffered from insomnia. I used to take naps after school and then sit in my living room and do homework at 3 AM. Circa 1991, MTV played the weirdest shit at that hour. That was when I saw my first Tori Amos video. I believe it was "Silent All These Years." And I've loved her ever since. I would actually sit there writing essays, hoping that the video would come on. Years later, after seeing her in concert a bunch of times and listening to subsequent releases, this is still my favorite. I sometimes feel that she actually got worse over time.
1. The Pixies - Doolittle
Best tracks: "Debaser," "Wave of Mutilation," "Hey," "Monkey Gone to Heaven"
Favorite lyrics: "If the ground's not cold everything is gonna burn, we'll all take turns, I'll get mine too"
This is my everything CD. I listen to it when I'm nervous, especially when I'm throwing parties. I play it when I know I'm going to be in an uncomfortable situation. I play it when I'm happy. I play it when I need a boost. I play it when I lay out in the sun. I originally bought this on tape the weekend my grandmother died. Maybe that has something to do with it. All I know is that it's always been my favorite. And nothing has ever really rivaled it.
Honorable mention goes to:
Me First and Gimme Gimmes - Have a Ball
Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill
Live - Throwing Copper
Flyleaf - Self titled
Moxy Fruvous - Bargainville
Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians - Shooting Rubberbands at the Stars
Social Distortion - Self titled
Anthrax - Attack of the Killer B's
Barenaked Ladies - Rock Spectacle
Ned's Atomic Dustbin - God Fodder
Singles - Soundtrack
Pearl Jam - Ten
Thin Lizzy - Peel Sessions
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
In Honor of Valentine's Day - My Favorite Love Songs
In no particular order...
1. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out ~ The Smiths
Favorite Line: And if a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
Granted, if a guy ever actually said something like that to me, I'd probably call the authorities and work on a restraining order. But there's just something about Morrissey's ability to take the saddest lyrics and put them to such happy ass music that makes me all giddy inside every time I hear him.
2. Maps ~ The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Favorite Line: Wait - They don't love you like I love you.
Supposedly, this song was written by Karen O. when her boyfriend decided to take a job that would cause him to leave town. I love the desperation in her voice. She is clearly frustrated about him choosing something else over her, despite her deep deep feelings for him. We've all been there. You love someone so much it hurts, but they don't give a shit. They want to move to Nebraska or fuck some girl named Cassie instead. You know you'd be the best thing for them and that you totally would rock their world. But they have to go fuck up their lives. Let him go, Karen. There's someone more worthy out there.
3. Everlong ~ The Foo Fighters
Favorite Line: And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever feel this real forever
I know that this song is probably a big sexual metaphor, but part of me envisions either that beginning part of a relationship where you're in the car together and a good song comes on. You both just spontaneously start singing out loud to it and you're laughing. Or maybe it's a road trip and you've traveled for miles and miles only picking up bad religeous or country music on the radio and then all of a sudden you find a good radio station with a great song. At any rate, it's about that excited feeling, the one you just can't bottle. The one that I wish I could describe.
4. Always Be ~ Jeffrey Gaines
Favorite Line: 'Cause with every day I love you more
I'll always remember the first time I heard this song. I was at a Jeffrey Gaines show at the Tin Angel in Philly. The song wasn't released yet. Paul and I were newly engaged and when he sang the line above Paul squeezed my hand. We were both on the same wave length that night because as soon as the show was over we both said about how we wanted that to be our song for our first dance at the wedding. Fortunately, the CD came out on time. We later learned that the song was written about woman that he saw in a magazine ad for skin cream. Who knew?
5. Movies ~ Alien Ant Farm
Favorite Line: I want you to be free, don't worry about me
Sure, it's not your typical mushy love song. But this guy loves this girl so much that he wants her to move on happily and stay friends. Just because things don't work out, that doesn't mean that they have to turn ugly between two people. I've always said that. Finally, someone knows what I mean.
6. Can't Help Falling In Love ~ Elvis Presley
Favorite Line: Take my hand, take my whole life, too
A true classic. And I always thought that was the sweetest lyric ever written, until I got married. Then I realized that taking someone's whole life is a lot more complicated that a corny song lyric. You're taking their annoying habits, their constant need to have Sports Center on, their relatives, their student loans, their pets...
7. N.F.B. (Dallabnikufesin) ~ Anthrax
Favorite Line: I never meant to hurt you or sleep with all your friends
Don't laugh. This is a great love story. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy and girl get back together. Girl gets hit by a truck. I think the title says it all - Nice fuckin' ballad!
8. Lovesong ~ The Cure
Favorite Line: What ever words I say, I will always love you
I bought Paul a watch as a wedding gift and I was trying to think of an inscription. On the way to the jeweler, this song was on the radio. It seemed perfect. So on the back of his watch it says, "I will always love you." I hope he knows this song is the reason and not that lame song from the Bodyguard.
9. Romeo and Juliet ~ Dire Straits
Favorite Line: All I do is miss you and the way we used to be. All I do is keep the beat and bad company
There are a lot of good lines in this song, actually. It's a sweet and sad song. They fall in love and then she moves on and brushes the whole thing off like it was nothing. And there's this poor guy still stuck on her, writing pretty songs and slumming it. Tragic.
10. Show Me Heaven ~ Maria McKee
Favorite Line: Here I go, I'm shaking just like the breeze. Hey, babe, I need your hand to steady me.
Someone put this on a mix tape for me a long, long time ago. I loved the song. Then, one night years later, I was at a bar and this DJ played it. I met a guy that night that is kind of a whole other story, but we danced to that song. And even long after I stole half his wardrobe and punched holes in his waterbed, I still loved that song. I wanted it to be my wedding song but I ended up forgetting about it. I think I was just traumatized by the fact that I actually bought the "Days of Thunder" Soundtrack at FYE just to have that song on CD. This was long before the days of Napster and iTunes. The cashier flashed the CD at the other girl working there and they both snickered. I wonder if they still work at that place for minimum wage. Fuck you, bitches!
And with that, I hope you all have a very happy VD!
1. There Is A Light That Never Goes Out ~ The Smiths
Favorite Line: And if a double decker bus crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
Granted, if a guy ever actually said something like that to me, I'd probably call the authorities and work on a restraining order. But there's just something about Morrissey's ability to take the saddest lyrics and put them to such happy ass music that makes me all giddy inside every time I hear him.
2. Maps ~ The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Favorite Line: Wait - They don't love you like I love you.
Supposedly, this song was written by Karen O. when her boyfriend decided to take a job that would cause him to leave town. I love the desperation in her voice. She is clearly frustrated about him choosing something else over her, despite her deep deep feelings for him. We've all been there. You love someone so much it hurts, but they don't give a shit. They want to move to Nebraska or fuck some girl named Cassie instead. You know you'd be the best thing for them and that you totally would rock their world. But they have to go fuck up their lives. Let him go, Karen. There's someone more worthy out there.
3. Everlong ~ The Foo Fighters
Favorite Line: And I wonder, when I sing along with you, if everything could ever feel this real forever
I know that this song is probably a big sexual metaphor, but part of me envisions either that beginning part of a relationship where you're in the car together and a good song comes on. You both just spontaneously start singing out loud to it and you're laughing. Or maybe it's a road trip and you've traveled for miles and miles only picking up bad religeous or country music on the radio and then all of a sudden you find a good radio station with a great song. At any rate, it's about that excited feeling, the one you just can't bottle. The one that I wish I could describe.
4. Always Be ~ Jeffrey Gaines
Favorite Line: 'Cause with every day I love you more
I'll always remember the first time I heard this song. I was at a Jeffrey Gaines show at the Tin Angel in Philly. The song wasn't released yet. Paul and I were newly engaged and when he sang the line above Paul squeezed my hand. We were both on the same wave length that night because as soon as the show was over we both said about how we wanted that to be our song for our first dance at the wedding. Fortunately, the CD came out on time. We later learned that the song was written about woman that he saw in a magazine ad for skin cream. Who knew?
5. Movies ~ Alien Ant Farm
Favorite Line: I want you to be free, don't worry about me
Sure, it's not your typical mushy love song. But this guy loves this girl so much that he wants her to move on happily and stay friends. Just because things don't work out, that doesn't mean that they have to turn ugly between two people. I've always said that. Finally, someone knows what I mean.
6. Can't Help Falling In Love ~ Elvis Presley
Favorite Line: Take my hand, take my whole life, too
A true classic. And I always thought that was the sweetest lyric ever written, until I got married. Then I realized that taking someone's whole life is a lot more complicated that a corny song lyric. You're taking their annoying habits, their constant need to have Sports Center on, their relatives, their student loans, their pets...
7. N.F.B. (Dallabnikufesin) ~ Anthrax
Favorite Line: I never meant to hurt you or sleep with all your friends
Don't laugh. This is a great love story. Boy meets girl. Boy loses girl. Boy and girl get back together. Girl gets hit by a truck. I think the title says it all - Nice fuckin' ballad!
8. Lovesong ~ The Cure
Favorite Line: What ever words I say, I will always love you
I bought Paul a watch as a wedding gift and I was trying to think of an inscription. On the way to the jeweler, this song was on the radio. It seemed perfect. So on the back of his watch it says, "I will always love you." I hope he knows this song is the reason and not that lame song from the Bodyguard.
9. Romeo and Juliet ~ Dire Straits
Favorite Line: All I do is miss you and the way we used to be. All I do is keep the beat and bad company
There are a lot of good lines in this song, actually. It's a sweet and sad song. They fall in love and then she moves on and brushes the whole thing off like it was nothing. And there's this poor guy still stuck on her, writing pretty songs and slumming it. Tragic.
10. Show Me Heaven ~ Maria McKee
Favorite Line: Here I go, I'm shaking just like the breeze. Hey, babe, I need your hand to steady me.
Someone put this on a mix tape for me a long, long time ago. I loved the song. Then, one night years later, I was at a bar and this DJ played it. I met a guy that night that is kind of a whole other story, but we danced to that song. And even long after I stole half his wardrobe and punched holes in his waterbed, I still loved that song. I wanted it to be my wedding song but I ended up forgetting about it. I think I was just traumatized by the fact that I actually bought the "Days of Thunder" Soundtrack at FYE just to have that song on CD. This was long before the days of Napster and iTunes. The cashier flashed the CD at the other girl working there and they both snickered. I wonder if they still work at that place for minimum wage. Fuck you, bitches!
And with that, I hope you all have a very happy VD!
Sunday, February 5, 2006
I'm Happy That I Woke Up This Morning - Jeffrey Gaines at the Whitaker Center 2/3/06
I've seen Jeffrey Gaines a bunch of times since I started this whole myspace thing, but I've always been afraid to do a concert recap like I do for all the other shows I go to. I guess I feel like I can't do a show like that justice. Although his music is a little different from what I usually listen to, I've been a fan for a long long time. So, here goes my attempt...
The opening act was awful. They were called The Holiday. Let me see if I can describe them. You know that willowy girl from your high school English class that was just a little too into poetry? Take her and clone her twice and that, my friends, is the Holiday. Three girls - one that plays piano, one on bongo and one with an acoustic guitar. Singer/songwriter chicks with freaky looks on their faces that make them look like they're channeling their home planet of Morphectimous. Although they were pretty girls, they sat down to play and basically did nothing to boost the energy of the place. They started with a cover of Neil Young's "Helpless" and that's about how I felt. Then, the nerdy looking guitar chick said, "This is a song about rain. It's called 'Rain.'" I decided then and there that I had to take notes to write this whole thing up. It was too bad/good to forget. They whispered to each other on stage, but didn't realize that they were whispering into the mike. They sang another song called "Hungry for Love" that sounded very very similar to "Please Come Home for Christmas." But whatever. They call themselves the Holiday, which considering how depressing holidays can be, was very appropriate. The only name that would suit them better would be Mokie Fraggle and the Fragglettes. They finished with a horrific cover of "Get Together" that had them changing the words to "Come on people now, smile on your sister..." Buh? That doesn't even rhyme. It's completely possible that the opening act from the last time I saw Jeffrey had me spoiled. Her name was Lili Anel and she was freakin' awesome. Seriously, folks, check out her stuff.
There was a brief intermission and then Jeffrey came out. He started with "Happy That," which I really like. Then he said that he was going to play his songlist in chronological order. That lasted for about four songs before the audience started yelling out requests. He played them, too.
Jeffrey is from Harrisburg, so he made a lot of references to local places that he used to play. I love when he tells stories. He talked about when he used to lay carpet and how his brother would conveniently end up with extra carpet for his apartment from some of their jobs. Then he said that he quit because he was going to miss a Cheap Trick show. I gained a whole new respect for Jeff after that. He talked about his old vinyl records that belonged to him and his siblings. He said he could never understand why his sister wrote her name on her Rick James records since it's not like anyone would ever steal them. He told a story about his producer who put on the exterior of being dumb, but just so Jeffrey would find the answers. He also mentioned that people in the coal regions will feed you chicken and waffles. I always thought that was a PA Dutch thing, not a coal cracker thing.
He started to play .38 Special's "Hold On Loosely" and the audience started singing it. He played a couple more songs including "Always Be," which was my wedding song. At that point, the bitch next to me's cell phone started ringing and I wanted to choke her. He finished with "Come Out Tonight," my current favorite and his cover of Tom Petty's "The Waiting." I'd even venture to say that I like his version of that better than Tom Petty's.
So, after a weak first act, the show went really well and I liked it very much. I'm thinking about going to see him again next month when he plays close to my hometown. If you have a chance to see him, check it out.
The opening act was awful. They were called The Holiday. Let me see if I can describe them. You know that willowy girl from your high school English class that was just a little too into poetry? Take her and clone her twice and that, my friends, is the Holiday. Three girls - one that plays piano, one on bongo and one with an acoustic guitar. Singer/songwriter chicks with freaky looks on their faces that make them look like they're channeling their home planet of Morphectimous. Although they were pretty girls, they sat down to play and basically did nothing to boost the energy of the place. They started with a cover of Neil Young's "Helpless" and that's about how I felt. Then, the nerdy looking guitar chick said, "This is a song about rain. It's called 'Rain.'" I decided then and there that I had to take notes to write this whole thing up. It was too bad/good to forget. They whispered to each other on stage, but didn't realize that they were whispering into the mike. They sang another song called "Hungry for Love" that sounded very very similar to "Please Come Home for Christmas." But whatever. They call themselves the Holiday, which considering how depressing holidays can be, was very appropriate. The only name that would suit them better would be Mokie Fraggle and the Fragglettes. They finished with a horrific cover of "Get Together" that had them changing the words to "Come on people now, smile on your sister..." Buh? That doesn't even rhyme. It's completely possible that the opening act from the last time I saw Jeffrey had me spoiled. Her name was Lili Anel and she was freakin' awesome. Seriously, folks, check out her stuff.
There was a brief intermission and then Jeffrey came out. He started with "Happy That," which I really like. Then he said that he was going to play his songlist in chronological order. That lasted for about four songs before the audience started yelling out requests. He played them, too.
Jeffrey is from Harrisburg, so he made a lot of references to local places that he used to play. I love when he tells stories. He talked about when he used to lay carpet and how his brother would conveniently end up with extra carpet for his apartment from some of their jobs. Then he said that he quit because he was going to miss a Cheap Trick show. I gained a whole new respect for Jeff after that. He talked about his old vinyl records that belonged to him and his siblings. He said he could never understand why his sister wrote her name on her Rick James records since it's not like anyone would ever steal them. He told a story about his producer who put on the exterior of being dumb, but just so Jeffrey would find the answers. He also mentioned that people in the coal regions will feed you chicken and waffles. I always thought that was a PA Dutch thing, not a coal cracker thing.
He started to play .38 Special's "Hold On Loosely" and the audience started singing it. He played a couple more songs including "Always Be," which was my wedding song. At that point, the bitch next to me's cell phone started ringing and I wanted to choke her. He finished with "Come Out Tonight," my current favorite and his cover of Tom Petty's "The Waiting." I'd even venture to say that I like his version of that better than Tom Petty's.
So, after a weak first act, the show went really well and I liked it very much. I'm thinking about going to see him again next month when he plays close to my hometown. If you have a chance to see him, check it out.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
I Don't Have To Sell My Soul...He's Already In Me
I hate when I get a song stuck in my head that I'm not supposed to like. Anyone remember that song Kayleigh? "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to break your heart." That one. All fucking day today! I went through my vast collection of 80's crap hoping that it was on one of my compilations. No dice. Now I have to put all these CDs away. What a mess! But look! I found the Stone Roses! I haven't listened to this in years!
Anyway, if by some strange stroke of cosmic wierdness, someone reading this happens to have Kayleigh in their mp3 collection or what not and wouldn't mind passing it along to me, I'll be your best friend. And I promise not to reveal this deep dark secret to anyone or mock you mercilessly for it.
Love you all madly...
Anyway, if by some strange stroke of cosmic wierdness, someone reading this happens to have Kayleigh in their mp3 collection or what not and wouldn't mind passing it along to me, I'll be your best friend. And I promise not to reveal this deep dark secret to anyone or mock you mercilessly for it.
Love you all madly...
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Tori, How You Disappoint Me
I finally bothered to get Tori Amos' Beekeeper CD. Blah. It's really long. And it's all starting to sound alike to me...and very similar to Scarlet's Walk.
A not so wise man once asked me, "Why can't we go back to a simpler time?"
Maybe I'll just have to listen to this a few more times, but I'm longing for the Little Earthquake days. That CD has character.
I have to say that I really like the pictures and art in the special edition. I don't know what is different in the regular issue.
Still looking forward to seeing her next month though...and having some time when school is over to read her book.
A not so wise man once asked me, "Why can't we go back to a simpler time?"
Maybe I'll just have to listen to this a few more times, but I'm longing for the Little Earthquake days. That CD has character.
I have to say that I really like the pictures and art in the special edition. I don't know what is different in the regular issue.
Still looking forward to seeing her next month though...and having some time when school is over to read her book.
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