Bah Humbug

I don't know why, but I just can't get into Christmas this year. I've barely started my shopping. As I write this, I'm procrastinating putting lights and ornaments on the tree that I just finally put up today. I've gone to at least five Christams parties so far (dinner at an arcade/bar/Dave and Busters type of place, a Japanese steak house, dinner at a local bar, a nice luncheon at an inn where I had too many glasses of champaigne and cranberry juice, and a buffet at a comedy club). At each one, I drank and socialized, but I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything lately that I know I'm not feeling the spirit of things like I should be.

I just don't know what's wrong with me lately.

I'd love to sit back and pinpoint this on the fact that my best friend died on Christmas Eve 2001. Darling, I miss you dearly, but I know that just isn't it. Or maybe, I could blame all this on school keeping me busy. That's what I have been doing, but I don't think that's it, either. When I finished and emailed my last midterm, I thought I'd feel a huge weight off my shoulders. But that never came. I still feel burdened and stressed and busy.

Something is just off. It's not that I'm sad or annoyed or anything like that. I'm just removed. My heart isn't into this.

I also didn't ask anyone what they wanted this year. I'm going to try to be creative. So if you're one of the lucky people on my shopping list and you happen to be reading this, please understand my struggle this year to choose a gift and my artisitic need for creativity. And that's all I'm saying right now. You'll understand later.

So Maybe I'm Not Such a Moron Afterall

I learned something new about the Prius this week. If the car isn't at a complete stop and you hit the park button, it goes into neutral. This leads me to believe that I did, in fact, attempt to put the car in park that day it cruised into the gate. It just wasn't completely stopped because I was in a hurry. Then, by getting out and closing the door, I gave it an unfortunate push. Oh well, at least I know now. I got the bumper replaced, but kicked myself after thinking what a dumb move that was because it snowed that day. I should have waited until winter is over, just in case. But I was inconsolable that day, so I guess there was no stopping me.

I GRABBED RICK SPRINGFIELD'S ASS!!!

I was originally going to call this post "Jesus Saved White Trash Like You," but really I can't stop laughing about the weirdness.

I really didn't even want to go to this concert. Stephen Lynch was playing at my alma mater tonight, but we had these tickets first. All week I considered having Paul take my mother in law instead.

So we got there, and I looked around at the crowd. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. Basically, there were a few variations of the same people:

Your Aunt Janice - Older, takes the Atlantic City bus to play the slots every Tuesday, smokes like a fiend, has six cats and loves to watch "her stories" as she calls them.

Your Cousin Jill - Chubby girl in her 30's, never married and painfully single, but likes to dress up and go out a lot, usually with her friend Kate from high school.

Kim the medical assistant from your doctor's office - Skinny, bleach blonde with roots showing badly, wears her pants just a little too high

and occassionally:

Your Uncle Bob - grudgingly tagging along, bought Aunt Janice the tickets for their anniversary, but secretly hoped she'd take her girlfriend who lives across the street instead.

But I digress...

Everyone stood up before he came on stage. It was dark and every time someone walked on stage, the crowd went crazy. Finally the lights came on and he started to play. I started to laugh my ass off. I mean, everyone was totally freaking out and I felt really really out of place, but thought it was so funny.

My mind eventually wondered. I think I was thinking about that movie Empire Records where the aging rock star does a meet and greet at the record store and Liv Tyler tries to seduce him. I snapped out of it when I realized that Paul was looking for something on the floor. Rick threw a guitar pick right at my foot. I picked it up and gave it to Paul. It had the stages of grief written on one side and then the other side just said "Denial." That in itself is pretty funny.

He asked how many people have visted his website. Paul sheepishly raised his hand. I shook my head in disgust.

Then something changed. He started playing covers. The first one he played was one of my all time favorite songs - The Church's "Under the Milky Way." People sat down, obviously not into it, but I stood and perked up a bit. I think Rick and I were the only people in the room who knew the song, and that was even a stretch because he butchered it a little, skipping some parts. I said to Paul, "Oh my fucking God! I can't believe he's playing this!" And Paul told me to watch my mouth. Um, I'm at a concert. Fuck off. He also played "Life in a Northern Town."

Anyway, then he went out into the audience. Actually, this was the second time he came out into the audience, but the first time was just to sing "Don't Talk To Strangers" and had various people in the audience sing with him. This time, he started singing a song called "Jesus Saved White Trash Like You." This made me laugh. Then he stood on something off to the side, borrowed someone's cell phone and called someone in their address book. He got their voicemail and said, "Hi? Amanda? This is Rick Springfield! We're all here at the concert and the crowd would like to say hello to you. On the count of three say 'Hi Amanda! What's up, girl?'" Funny. Next, he told all the people in the audience to get out their cell phones and wave them around because that was the new cigarette lighter. Everyone was so fascinated. They probably don't get out much. Prior to the show, I heard the lady behind me listing the concerts she had been to. They included Chicago, Genesis and Kristopher Kross.

Then, THEN, he started making his way down the row in front of us. He was walking on the chairs so pretty much dead in my face was his butt. The girl next to me rushed up and grabbed his butt, then put her hands on his back and was practically holding him up. He said, "I think this is a good time to play a song called 'Human Touch.'" Well, who am I to argue?!?! So I grabbed myself a piece of that. Then he came back to our row and started walking on our chairs. He stopped right on our seats and played most of the song. Paul patted him on the back and I rubbed my hand up the back of his thigh. He kind of squirrmed a little. I think he liked it.

The rest of the night is a bit of a blur. I think we called everyone in Paul's cell phone on the way home. I couldn't stop laughing.

I GRABBED RICK SPRINGFIELD'S BUTT!!!