Five Questions

Because Jam asked me to do this...

1. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Not in the traditional sense. However, there are certain people in my life that I have a frozen image of in my mind from the first time I saw them. I know this is going to sound kind of weird, but for most of my close friends and people that I have a lot of respect for, I felt a certain kindred vibe from the second I set eyes on them. I could tell you where it was, what time of day and possibly what they were wearing. It's like I knew ahead of time that they'd have some sort of impact on my life.

2. What have you learned about yourself that came as a surprise?

I'm not really as lucky as everyone thinks I am. Sure, I have a great life and a lot to be happy about, but I don't think I got it from luck. I got it from having a strong value for perseverance and foresight, a little bit of intelligence and the ability to just cope. I don't quit things because I get stressed. Sure, I have my meltdowns when I reach a breaking point, but I don't quit. I get through it. I have little respect for people who give up while saying, "Oh my life is so stressful." Fucking pussies! I think I get this from my dad who worked two jobs, raised a family and took care of my disabled mother. See now that guy had stress. But did he quit any of it? No. He knew what he had to do. He never accepted any kind of hand out or help. He worked hard and took care of things. And, if I ever have kids, that's the kind of role model I want to be - one that carries on day to day functions no matter what life hands her.

My best friend also had a pretty shitty life before she passed away. But she lived her life based on one basic word: Cope! I still find myself saying that from time to time to myself and to others. I'm glad she taught me that.

3. What quality do you possess that was a weakness before it became a strength?

This is a no brainer. I am and always have been a total bitch. This has helped my career immensely. I have a job where I get to say "no" a lot and I enjoy that.

I have to tell people that if they don't pay me, I'll be suing them. Then I sit in depositions and face the motherfuckers when they dare to look me in the eye. They squirm like little girls who have to pee. I deal with arrogant men who are stupid and sexist on top of that. This isn't a job for nice, prissy girls.

I never understood the whole "people pleaser" thing. I don't expect anyone to be responsible for anything I need. That's all up to me. So why should I bend over backwards and put myself out just to make you happy? That's not to say that I won't do it if I want to. But leeches don't get very far with me. Sink or swim! Don't pull my head under with you.

4. Are you consciously aware that you are "crossing the line" when you cross it? Think of a situation where you intentionally crossed the line and tell me about it.

I cross the line every day. I think life is boring when you stay in your safety zone. My biggest regrets in life stem from times when I didn't take action rather than the times that I did. I like to pick up sleeping kittens because they're so damn cute. I stir things up. I sometimes make comments that I shouldn't make. But this is because I have to get it out. Sometimes, like the other night, I drink too much and become selfish and self involved.

But I was selfish and self involved long before I drank. So it's not because I'm an alcoholic. I'm just a fucking asshole.

5. How do you express your feelings of anger and hurt?

I guess it all depends on the degree of anger or hurt. I've been known to scream and throw things. I've also become withdrawn and quietly go off by myself or just nap. If it's a really deep hurt, I might write for hours and hours. It all depends.

Repost this as "5 Questions" and learn something a little more meandingful than your friend's favorite color.