At the risk of sounding like that guy who complains that his dick is too big, I feel the need to write about what's bothering me.
Nothingness.
I know this has been hard for some people to understand, but I've been in a bit of a funk as of late. This has nothing to do with anyone else. It's all on me, and I'm not sure what to do about it. People think I lead this charmed life, like I've managed to get everything I've ever wanted. And I suppose this is true. Granted, it's not all wine and roses. Work has been tough lately. I've also come to the realization that I hate living where I live. I mean, I love my house on its little street that projects the surreal image of a Tim Burton film (think Edward Scissorhands). And I can't beat my five minute commute to the office. I'm just not fond of the area where it's located. I don't belong here. I've met some good people and all, but this just doesn't feel like home to me.
All that aside, it's always been my mantra that you can have whatever you want in life, you just have to figure out how to get it and make the right moves and decisions along the way. The problem is, I've hit the wall. I don't know what to aspire to next. I need a new adventure and something to do with my free time.
I've discussed this with a few people. And I've compiled a list of what they've suggested. I'm open to other suggestions as well. Here it is.
1. "Why don't you write that fuckin' book already?"
This is a good one. Unfortunately, I've had some awful writer's block lately. Maybe I need a new desk or a change of atmosphere. But it's been hard to sit here and type anything. I'm not sure where to go after the first paragraph.
2. "You can help me with my Girl Scout troop."
No. Those little bitches are trying to make me fat with their cookies. Now someone please get these Tagalongs out of here before I eat the whole box.
3. "You can do some other sort of volunteer work."
This would require hardcore commitment to something. I just don't have it in me. I could see it turning into another full time job of sorts. I already work at least 50 hours per week. I just don't think I have the energy.
4. "You can start having kids."
Um, hellooooo?!??!? Did you read number three with the commitment and the energy?!?!? Please. Stop. I'm so sick of people saying this to me. I'm not ready. I'm nowhere near ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. Please remove what you think is your vested interested in my uterus. This is a funk and will probably pass in a few months. Children, on the other hand, are permanent.
5. "You can have an affair!"
Um, I'm not even sure where to begin with that one...
6. "You can play the triangle in my band."
Ok. This one is a joke.
7. "You can make jokes in your blog that only three other people will get."
I just did! Please see number six.
8. "It's time to start up that Monday night drinking club again."
Hmmmm...it's a possibility. I'm just not so sure it's in my best interest.
9. "Take another trip."
This is also a good one. But I can't help but wonder if that is what put me in my funk to begin with. I was really riding high when I came back from Hawaii. But now that I've been back for almost a month, I've hit a slump. The excitement has worn off and I'm here looking for the next thing to look forward to. There are places that I want to go. The problem is that most of them will require resources like time and money that I may not have enough of to do what I want.
10. "Get some exercise."
No one actually suggested this, at least not to my face. This came from me. I'm looking for a gym right now that has aerobics classes at an hour that I would actually be able to attend. Maybe a little endorphin therapy will help. For now, I will be a slave to the Xbox 360 DDR.
Hmmmm...video games...hadn't considered that one...
Nah.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Put your make up on, fix your hair up pretty and meet me tonight in Atlantic City
When I woke up this morning, the roads seemed completely clear. Sure, there were several inches of snow on the ground, but it seemed as though Penn DOT actually got their asses in gear over night. I had no fear about going to see the Wings play tonight.
However, after driving for an hour and a half to get to the game we learned that the game was postponed until April 13th because the other team couldn't fly in from Minnesota.
"All dressed up with no place to go," I said to Paul. It seemed like a waste of a St. Patrick's Day. I was now in Philly, hours away from my plans B or C. "I feel like we should do something since we're down here."
"Let's go to Atlantic City," he said. And there he was - the spontaneous guy that I married. I thought it was a good idea. Although, I'm barely Irish, I'd be willing to test my luck.
Next thing I knew we were on the AC Expressway, stopping for Starbucks and then parking at Trump. We lost, then won, then won again, lost, lost, lost. Luck of the Irish, my big fat ass! We went from Trump to Wild Wild West and Bally's. I like the decor Wild Wild West, even if it's a little cheesey. I don't even really mind the country music they pipe in there, although was it really necessary for some country artist to remake that fuckin' Himder song. ENOUGH ALREADY!
Walking back to Trump, I saw a black cat on the beach. I started calling him Lucky. I tried calling him to come to me, but he ran under the boardwalk. At least he didn't cross my path, I guess.
And I didn't drink tonight. This is the first St. Patrick's Day that I can remember in years that I was not drunk. See! You all think I'm an alcoholic. Ha!
We stopped at a diner on the way home and then a cop followed us almost to our door. We were the only car on the road and he was just waiting for us to do something stupid. It didn't happen. Then he pulled off to get gas.
So, yeah, that was my night o' spontaneity. It was fun, but I wish I had won something.
However, after driving for an hour and a half to get to the game we learned that the game was postponed until April 13th because the other team couldn't fly in from Minnesota.
"All dressed up with no place to go," I said to Paul. It seemed like a waste of a St. Patrick's Day. I was now in Philly, hours away from my plans B or C. "I feel like we should do something since we're down here."
"Let's go to Atlantic City," he said. And there he was - the spontaneous guy that I married. I thought it was a good idea. Although, I'm barely Irish, I'd be willing to test my luck.
Next thing I knew we were on the AC Expressway, stopping for Starbucks and then parking at Trump. We lost, then won, then won again, lost, lost, lost. Luck of the Irish, my big fat ass! We went from Trump to Wild Wild West and Bally's. I like the decor Wild Wild West, even if it's a little cheesey. I don't even really mind the country music they pipe in there, although was it really necessary for some country artist to remake that fuckin' Himder song. ENOUGH ALREADY!
Walking back to Trump, I saw a black cat on the beach. I started calling him Lucky. I tried calling him to come to me, but he ran under the boardwalk. At least he didn't cross my path, I guess.
And I didn't drink tonight. This is the first St. Patrick's Day that I can remember in years that I was not drunk. See! You all think I'm an alcoholic. Ha!
We stopped at a diner on the way home and then a cop followed us almost to our door. We were the only car on the road and he was just waiting for us to do something stupid. It didn't happen. Then he pulled off to get gas.
So, yeah, that was my night o' spontaneity. It was fun, but I wish I had won something.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Kind Acts of Randomness
New Jersey sucks. I got lost there last week. I made a wrong turn, but convinced myself that it was still right even though I knew deep down it was wrong. I didn't give in for about twenty miles. Then I had to find a place to turn around. Did you know that left turns are illegal pretty much everywhere in New Jersey? So I did a few bizarre maneuvers and probably damn near caused a few accidents just to turn around. Oh well. I guess we all get our turn to be the asshole.
Trying to upload songs to iTunes that were downloaded from other sites is a pain in the ass.
I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm really digging the bootlegs that Paul has been burning for me from bit torrent. So far, I have two really great Pixies shows and a Grateful Dead show that I used to have on tape. The download is better quality than the tape that I used to have. He had a really cool U2 show, too.
Best advice ever given to me: Don't piss off the psycho.
Yesterday marked the one month anniversary of the gigantic mound of snow that ran off my roof and gathered directly in front of my door. Because there was ice mixed in with this, it was impossible to get rid of and I've been using my garage to get in and out of the house. I kind of like the mound there. I would know if someone was trying to break in because there would be footprints.
I have this coworker that no one likes. But I think he rocks! This is mostly because he bribes me with alcohol.
I hate people who smile when giving bad news. I don't necessarily mean people who smile in a "ha ha neener neener" kind of way (although, they suck, too). I mean the people who smile as if it's going to make the horrific (and usually blunt) blow more bearable. For example - "You have cancer," or "I want to see other people" or "Don't come into work anymore. You're fired." There's no way to make these words more pleasant. So save your fake nicey nice crap for someone who won't feel like kicking you in the teeth.
I can't believe the Platypus Man is dead.
Only 19 more days until Guitar Hero II comes out for the Xbox 360. Woo hoo!
Some really great things have happened since I got back from Hawaii. One of my friends is pregnant. That had a long time coming. Another friend got a new job. That also had a long time coming. And Paul got a raise and a promotion. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with that Tiki God that is in my bedroom Take that luck, Greg Brady!
Enough with the Hinder song already, people! You know who you are.
Why do people dwell on mistakes? Just acknowledge it, learn from it and move away from it as quickly as possible. Sometimes when you pick up the pieces, you end up cutting yourself. Maybe it's better to just step over them.
It sucks when you get sick in the middle of a big meeting.
My friends rule! I don't know what I ever did to deserve such wonderful people in my life, but I know I don't tell them nearly enough. You have all been so good to me lately. I love you all. Muah!
Trying to upload songs to iTunes that were downloaded from other sites is a pain in the ass.
I probably shouldn't admit this, but I'm really digging the bootlegs that Paul has been burning for me from bit torrent. So far, I have two really great Pixies shows and a Grateful Dead show that I used to have on tape. The download is better quality than the tape that I used to have. He had a really cool U2 show, too.
Best advice ever given to me: Don't piss off the psycho.
Yesterday marked the one month anniversary of the gigantic mound of snow that ran off my roof and gathered directly in front of my door. Because there was ice mixed in with this, it was impossible to get rid of and I've been using my garage to get in and out of the house. I kind of like the mound there. I would know if someone was trying to break in because there would be footprints.
I have this coworker that no one likes. But I think he rocks! This is mostly because he bribes me with alcohol.
I hate people who smile when giving bad news. I don't necessarily mean people who smile in a "ha ha neener neener" kind of way (although, they suck, too). I mean the people who smile as if it's going to make the horrific (and usually blunt) blow more bearable. For example - "You have cancer," or "I want to see other people" or "Don't come into work anymore. You're fired." There's no way to make these words more pleasant. So save your fake nicey nice crap for someone who won't feel like kicking you in the teeth.
I can't believe the Platypus Man is dead.
Only 19 more days until Guitar Hero II comes out for the Xbox 360. Woo hoo!
Some really great things have happened since I got back from Hawaii. One of my friends is pregnant. That had a long time coming. Another friend got a new job. That also had a long time coming. And Paul got a raise and a promotion. I'm wondering if it has anything to do with that Tiki God that is in my bedroom Take that luck, Greg Brady!
Enough with the Hinder song already, people! You know who you are.
Why do people dwell on mistakes? Just acknowledge it, learn from it and move away from it as quickly as possible. Sometimes when you pick up the pieces, you end up cutting yourself. Maybe it's better to just step over them.
It sucks when you get sick in the middle of a big meeting.
My friends rule! I don't know what I ever did to deserve such wonderful people in my life, but I know I don't tell them nearly enough. You have all been so good to me lately. I love you all. Muah!
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