If it's just a lull, why am I bored right out of my skull?

At the risk of sounding like that guy who complains that his dick is too big, I feel the need to write about what's bothering me.

Nothingness.

I know this has been hard for some people to understand, but I've been in a bit of a funk as of late. This has nothing to do with anyone else. It's all on me, and I'm not sure what to do about it. People think I lead this charmed life, like I've managed to get everything I've ever wanted. And I suppose this is true. Granted, it's not all wine and roses. Work has been tough lately. I've also come to the realization that I hate living where I live. I mean, I love my house on its little street that projects the surreal image of a Tim Burton film (think Edward Scissorhands). And I can't beat my five minute commute to the office. I'm just not fond of the area where it's located. I don't belong here. I've met some good people and all, but this just doesn't feel like home to me.

All that aside, it's always been my mantra that you can have whatever you want in life, you just have to figure out how to get it and make the right moves and decisions along the way. The problem is, I've hit the wall. I don't know what to aspire to next. I need a new adventure and something to do with my free time.

I've discussed this with a few people. And I've compiled a list of what they've suggested. I'm open to other suggestions as well. Here it is.

1. "Why don't you write that fuckin' book already?"

This is a good one. Unfortunately, I've had some awful writer's block lately. Maybe I need a new desk or a change of atmosphere. But it's been hard to sit here and type anything. I'm not sure where to go after the first paragraph.

2. "You can help me with my Girl Scout troop."

No. Those little bitches are trying to make me fat with their cookies. Now someone please get these Tagalongs out of here before I eat the whole box.

3. "You can do some other sort of volunteer work."

This would require hardcore commitment to something. I just don't have it in me. I could see it turning into another full time job of sorts. I already work at least 50 hours per week. I just don't think I have the energy.

4. "You can start having kids."

Um, hellooooo?!??!? Did you read number three with the commitment and the energy?!?!? Please. Stop. I'm so sick of people saying this to me. I'm not ready. I'm nowhere near ready. I don't know if I'll ever be ready. Please remove what you think is your vested interested in my uterus. This is a funk and will probably pass in a few months. Children, on the other hand, are permanent.

5. "You can have an affair!"

Um, I'm not even sure where to begin with that one...

6. "You can play the triangle in my band."

Ok. This one is a joke.

7. "You can make jokes in your blog that only three other people will get."

I just did! Please see number six.

8. "It's time to start up that Monday night drinking club again."

Hmmmm...it's a possibility. I'm just not so sure it's in my best interest.

9. "Take another trip."

This is also a good one. But I can't help but wonder if that is what put me in my funk to begin with. I was really riding high when I came back from Hawaii. But now that I've been back for almost a month, I've hit a slump. The excitement has worn off and I'm here looking for the next thing to look forward to. There are places that I want to go. The problem is that most of them will require resources like time and money that I may not have enough of to do what I want.

10. "Get some exercise."

No one actually suggested this, at least not to my face. This came from me. I'm looking for a gym right now that has aerobics classes at an hour that I would actually be able to attend. Maybe a little endorphin therapy will help. For now, I will be a slave to the Xbox 360 DDR.

Hmmmm...video games...hadn't considered that one...

Nah.