Creep of the week: People who talk about their workouts incessantly

How to recognize them: This is most likely your friend on facebook, the annoying girl from high school who has probably always been a little on the chubby side. She posts daily about how she's hitting the gym after work or about annoying things that people at the gym do. Then she tells you about the 5K she's entering in April.

Frequently heard saying: "Is it 5 o'clock yet? I can't wait to head to Gold's and get on that treadmill!" "If you're able to be on the treadmill and talk on your cell phone, then you are NOT working hard enough." "I'm all signed up for my first 5K! Wish me luck"

Why they bug: Okay, we get it! You realize that you are not or were not living a healthy lifestyle and want to make changes. But can you just shut the fuck up about it? Good for you for realizing what your friends knew and were afraid to tell you. But honey, no one believes you're actually running the whole 5K. We know you're going to walk. And that's okay, too! It has been my experience that people who are truly serious about working out and living a healthy lifestyle don't usually talk about it, pretty much for the same reasons why they don't talk about brushing their teeth or tying their shoelaces. It's a habit that has become a way of life. It's just another part of their day.

Their retort: "You're just lazy and jealous." "I have to talk about it in order to be motivated to keep doing it."

My response: Lazy, perhaps. Jealous, not really. I don't need to run a 5K because I have a car. I can drive it, thanks. And if you need to talk about it, I suggest joining an online forum with other people like you. You'll probably have an easier time finding them this time of year. Usually by March the New Year's resolutions have run stale.