My cross country jaunt (pt. 1): Where do I even begin?

I have no idea even how to go about writing this. I even kept a travel journal this time, but there's a lot of nothing to discuss.

Friday, June 30th, 2006

Paul and I decided that now was as good of a time as any to road trip across country like we always wanted to. We jumped into our little rented Kia Spectra (which I swore would be the death of us) and headed west.

We got about as far as Lancaster when I realized that I left the map on my dining room table. Oopsy! We later picked one up at a gas station. We were making pretty good time until a camper overturned about 100 yards in front of us on the PA turnpike. That held us up for about an hour. I played Yahtzee and waited. Eventually, we made it out of PA and stayed in a little town outside of Cleveland.

Saturday, July 1st, 2006

After a good night's sleep, we got on our way again. I found a station that played polkas and drove Paul nuts. We saw a bus being towed. The bus had a big sign on it that said "Out of Service." Yeah, no shit.

The rest of the day is a little fuzzy. I slept. I passed out somewhere in Indiana and woke up in Wisconsin. Paul's contact was acting up, so we stopped at a big gas station and he put on his glasses. I got an orange slurpee that had a weird taste to it...like gasoline or something. We continued on, debating who is the hottest female lead singer of our generation. Susannah Hoffs won out to my suggestions of Debbie Harry and Kay Hanley. Eh, I'm a girl. My views are a little different, I guess.

There were definitely some clear signs that we were in Wisconsin. The first was that the people on the radio were talking about how they wanted onions and mustard on their bratts for their 4th of July party. We had cheese curds and root beer for dinner. And we saw a place called "Bong Recreational Area."

We continued on through Minnesota. Some sort of freakish mosquito made its way into the car and gave me the West Nile virus. Ok, maybe not, but my arm developed a large red weld. Paul thought I was just being overly dramatic about it and blew me off. It wasn't really itchy or anything. But it was huge, red and hot. We saw a lot of fireworks going off in the various towns that we passed. We listened to a lot of oldies on the radio. We even heard some little kid call into one to request "Suspicious Minds," my all time favorite Elvis song. We also seemed to continuously hear Tony Orlando and Dawn's "Knock Three Times." I believe this also annoyed Paul.

I know. I know. I said I was going to activate the XM before I went on the trip. And I did! The problem was that I had a slight malfunction with the device and decided not to take it along. Besides, listening to the local radio stations on the road gives you a feel for an area more than anything else. I can figure out a place better by knowing what the masses listen to. It's a talent.

Eventually, we stopped for the night in some little town in Minnesota.

Sunday, July 2nd, 2006

When we hit the road the next day, we saw a bald eagle. This is the second time I saw one. The first time was also in Minnesota.

We decided to go to North Dakota State for sweatshirts, but the bookstore was closed. To get there, we managed to drive the wrong way down a one way street. We also stopped for directions at a gas station that boasted to have the best buns in town as well as the tastiest buns in town. After leaving the university, we went through a Starbucks drive thru. The guy working the drive thru was very effeminate. I had no clue he was even a guy at first. Fargo is a really weird place.

By the time we made it to Bismarck, we needed a little break. So we stopped at this place called Space Aliens Bar and Grill. I'm not sure if this is a chain or not. I've never seen one before, but it seemed a little chainy. The hostess seated us in the lounge area where we ate popcorn and watched an infomercial on some sort of pet comb that keeps your pet from shedding. When the waitress came to the table, I ordered a drink. Paul got a coke. She carded both of us. I thought this was odd. Remembering the numerous Bob's Lemonades that I consumed in Bloomsburg before my 21st birthday, I assumed that they wanted to make sure that if he just happened to start drinking the drink I ordered all would be legal. But later, when the two girls in the booth behind us ordered Diet Cokes and were still carded, I started coming up with conspiracy theories. Maybe space aliens really ran the place. And now they knew where we lived. Anyway, it was still a cool place. The bathrooms were labeled as "She-Roids" and "He-Roids." They had black toilets (if you can't see the mold, it's not there, right?) and mosaic tile that formed moon beams and stars. There were Space Invaders mirrors on the wall.

We tried to get sweatshirts at Bismarck State, but they were also closed (you'd think it was a Sunday in the summer...on a holiday weekend or something).

We carried on to Montana. There we saw a storm for miles and miles above us because it's so flat. Somehow, we dodged it. We also saw a van pulled over on the side of the road by the cops who were pointing a gun at it. Freaky. Because of its high latitude, the sun didn't fully set until nearly 11 pm. But when it got dark, it got really dark. And who knows what kind of animals were roaming around. We stopped in Missoula for the night. And I'm really glad that we did. We followed a few cars down the road that we thought would lead us to the hotel. We ended up turning around and being the first ones there. And we got the last room in the place. It was so "Amazing Race." It was good practice if we ever end up on the show.

We got a good rest. The next day would lead us to Seattle to see Jam.

To be continued...