Morning people - I work in an industry where most people are starting their day at the ripe old hour that I used to stroll in through the door after a good night out. It's hard for me to avoid these people. And I've about had it with their sanctimonious bullshit. They wear the fact that they get up at 4 am like a badge of honor and treat you like you're less successful than they are because of it. "Well, I'm here at 5:30 every morning." Good for you! I'm up at 1 am every night after you have been long asleep. And I'm probably having a better time.
I can't explain it, but there is a certain peace that I find in the world sometime around 3 am. Most people are in bed...early birds and night owls. My misanthropic tendencies are appeased because there is no one around to annoy me. It's very quiet. It's when my creativity comes out. Now if only my job wouldn't get in the way.
Christian Radio Stations - Remember back when you used to be able to find cool local college or public radio on the lower end of the dial? There are a lot of reasons why I can't stand the religious right. Some may be more important, but this is the one that annoys me the most. They've taken up all of the good frequencies with the propaganda. Sometimes it's even worse - this wave of alternative sounding bands that are really big ol' "Yay Jesus!" pep rally songs about being born again or saved or whatever. I'll admit there are a few that I like (Flyleaf, Relient K), but I resent being conned into listening.
I'm not knocking anyone's belief here. I don't mind people being religious and I know part of that sometimes includes rallying people to join them. I'm just disappointed that they've marched on a little piece of something that used to bring me so much joy.
It's difficult to find instructions in English anymore - Granted, we know I've never been one to follow rules and directions anyway, but sometimes they are necessary.
The other day, I decided to make popcorn in my microwave. I had a random bag in my cupboard that I'm guessing was a sample from some sort of presentation that I suffered through in grad school. I didn't have the box, so I looked on the bag for the directions on how long I should keep it in the microwave, what setting, etc. There were no instructions in English. There were, however, instructions in Spanish.
With how sue happy our country is, I wouldn't be surprised if someone burned their flippin' house down while making popcorn and decided to sue Orville Redenbacher because they couldn't read the instructions. I was so annoyed at this that I briefly considered it.
On the bright side, however, I do have a new excuse as to why I don't cook. I'm not bilingual.
The Quizzo guy does not ask nearly enough music questions - I'm just randomly bitching here.
Everyone has lost their edge - I'm tired of having to be politically correct and everyone getting all bent out of shape over little things that make us different. You're not allowed to laugh at anything anymore. I'm not just talking about entertainment and media (another blog for another day...but I will say fuck the corporations who pulled sponsorship on Don Imus...Proctor and Gamble is a bunch pussies...do you really think all black people are just going to stop using soap, toothpaste and toilet paper?). Even amongst friends I feel that a lot of you (ahem, yes, you) can't take a joke.
Look, I'm a PA Dutch, Irish, Slovak chick. I like butter. I drink like a fish and sometimes get a little feisty. I'm all tits and ass. Have at it! It's true. I don't care. If we're all supposed to be unique individuals, why do people get so upset and so uptight about some of the things that make us who we are? And I know this tends to be said a lot, but stereotypes aren't just random categorizations. They come from somewhere. And no one ever seems to get mad at the "Blacks have big penises" "All Asians are smart" stereotypes, do they? Oh no!
No one apologizes anymore - even when they know damn well they are wrong. Stubborn twat waffles!
I think I apologize too much. I think we've all established that we all get our turn to be the jerk off. Sometimes it's me. Sometimes it's you. But at least I own up to being the jerk off when I am the jerk off. I'm pretty sure most of you know deep down when you're being the jerk off, too.
Because of this, I am proposing an Apology Amnesty. If my last conversation with you was a bit heated and some time has passed since we last spoke, I'm going to just assume you are sorry, even if you're really not. It's ok. I know that you know deep down that I'm right and you're wrong. You don't have to tell me. It's ok. All is forgiven.
No one has posted an actual time table of the performances at Live Earth on Saturday - If I get there early only to find out that the opening act is Akon, I'm going to be so fucking pissed.
Some people shouldn't be allowed to play with jukeboxes - Why why why do people insist on playing music that they can hear on the radio for free when patronizing a jukebox?
The other night, I witnessed two hammered bimbos playing the same fucking Nickelback song twice on the jukebox at a bar that a visit frequently. Another regular asked me to do something about it, to play something, but unfortunately, I didn't have any denominations smaller than a $20 and the bartender was not picking up on my requests to change the $20 ("I bought your first round. Why do you need change?" I guess I can't really complain about that. The bar tender also called me the next day to make sure that I made it into work...either that place has really good service or I'm a functioning alcoholic). To humor the other regular, I looked at the jukebox for a few minutes to try to find something else to play.
I mocked some anger, "There's no fucking Al Stewart!" I joked.
"The hell there isn't!" He replied. I guess he didn't get it.
Small talk - Why do we have to make small talk? Some of us really suck at it. I try sometimes, but I only feel like I'm prying. And sometimes, when others do it, I just laugh at their lame attempts once I'm away from them.
Case in point - today I went to the post office. The lady behind the counter started talking about the weather. "Yesterday was gorgeous!" She gushed.
"Yeah, but it rained," I replied. Sorry to be such a downer.
"Oh, but that was much later."
Later?!?! You mean like 8 am?!?!?
Damn morning people...
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