There's a fine line between hypocrisy and irony.
My initial thoughts on a concert to save the world immediately went to the massive amount of waste that a large group of people in one place at one time tend to create - tons of garbage, disgusting bathrooms by the end of the night, not to mention all the fuel consumed to get all of these people in said place at said time.
And don't even get me started on the fact that such an event would take place in New Jersey of all places.
But since I bought a ticket and chose to attend (did you see me on TV? I was the one in the Sonic Youth t-shirt ), I'm going brush aside the thoughts of "hypocrisy" and just say it's a touch ironic. I went for the music. If it just so happened that I learned something in the whole process, no harm, no foul.
Paul and I watched some of the coverage from other countries while we were getting ready to leave for Giants Stadium where the US leg of the show was to be held. We got to the show without incident only to discover that we had been assigned parking areas once we got there. I breathed a sigh of relief that I grabbed the entire ticket envelope rather than just the tickets, as I had considered. We were directed to the "blue" lot, paid our $20 parking fee (ouch!) and made our way to the little booths outside the gates.
On our way to the gate, we were accosted by a hippy dippy chick who first asked, "Hey, have you ever heard of us?" I looked at her quizzically as she handed me a magazine. "We're from [insert name of whacky organization that I can't remember here] and we publish zines and create art and CD's and we inspire and motivate people through art..." she started babbling on in a very rapid but steady pattern. Then I caught her say, "We all live together in house in West Virginia..." and subliminally "JoinMyCultFundMyCultJoinMyCultFundMyCult." I smiled and told her that I'd check out their website...which I've now forgotten. Damn!
As we got closer to the gate, a guy from the World Wildlife Fund handed me a paper fan. I thanked him and told him I looked forward to throwing it on the ground later. Paul scolded me for being a dick. I drank some raspberry flavored organic milk and bought a t-shirt. We took it back to the car. I forgot the fan there. We went back to the gate and waited.
I was surprised that security was somewhat easy to get through. We considered going to the State Fair, which was also going on in the Meadowlands parking lot. The idea was quickly nixed as we were curious as to where our seats were. I must say they were fan-freakin'-tastic, despite being fairly high up. Our section wasn't too far from the stage and the sun was already casting a shadow on us, meaning that we wouldn't burn in the hot sun for the rest of the afternoon.
We went back to a beer stand and got two Smithwicks because drinking is cool. We settled in and sent text messages to get our names on the screen and get other messages throughout the day regarding the schedule and other environment tips.
Kena was the first act. I had no clue who they were, but I quickly figured out they had a song on a Vorizon commercial or something. He sang three songs before the stage rotated for the next artist to come out. Holy efficiency, Batman! They were able to keep that thing moving by setting up for the next act from backstage and then rotating that part out. In between acts, we were treated to clips from shows elsewhere in the world, short films on saving the environment and some speakers among the likes of Jane Goodall (who greeted us with actual monkey noises), Al Gore and Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
KT Tunstall came out next and told us all we should "eat more soil." I'm fairly certain she meant soy, but she definitely said soil. Thanks, KT. It's not like I don't already have a dirty mouth. I looked up and saw a plane flying overhead with a banner that said "Don't Believe Al Gore! Demanddebate.com." Some goofy people came and sat directly in front of us. More on them later.
Taking Back Sunday was next. I always wanted to see them. Although I was disappointed that they didn't play "A Decade Under the Influence," I was delighted to hear "Make Damn Sure" and "What it Feels Like to be a Ghost." We heard that Keith Urban would be next. I'm not all that into country music, so this seemed like a good time to take a walk and use the facilities.
As I finished washing my hands, I heard the crowd go ape shit. I ran out of the rest room and met up with Paul to see what was going on. Leonardo Di Caprio was introducing Al Gore. "No more going to the bathroom until the shitty artist is actually on the stage!" Paul scolded. Al Gore introduced Keith Urban, who sang "Gimme Shelter" with Alicia Keys, a song that had been played in other countries by other artists throughout the day. Beach balls with globe patterns started flying around the crowd, but they quickly disappeared. I'm sure you can find them on ebay today, if you're interested.
Ludacris came out next. To my surprise, the filthy stoners in front of me were big rap fans. They were two guys with ponytails and a girl with a gigantic ass. One of the pony boys was apparently dating the girl, but you'd never know by the way she acted. Her boyfriend seemed like a bit of a stick in the mud anyway. The other guy and the girl danced to Ludacris and rubbed their asses on the poor guy as he sat there in the middle. Throughout the day, I was treated to little parts of their conversations amongst themselves and others seated around them. Some of the gems include:
"This is the best concert I've ever been to!" I mean, it was good, but the best? Eh.
"Robert F. Kennedy Jr! He's the last living Kennedy, you know!" Uh oh. Someone better call Ted and Caroline...
"Why don't you just smoke here? He's doing it," to the girl sitting next to them who disappeared every now and then. She looked horrified at the suggestion.
"Oh look! It's a clip of Genesis! Do you remember them? They had this video in the early 90's that went [sings] 'I can't dance. I can't sing' and the guy did this robot thing..."
*sigh*
That's the only frame of reference you have for Genesis, you moronic twit!??!?!?!?! Not that I'm a big fan or anything, but I would say that's right around the lowest point of the band's history.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, Ludacris finished and AFI was next. The only song they do that I know is "Miss Murder," but I really wanted to see them anyway. Their lead singer is quite charismatic. When they played "Miss Murder" the tool with the ponytail in front of me decided to hold a conversation with the water boy regarding how to get a job and totally blocked my view. Thanks, ass!
Fall Out Boy followed. I love Fall Out Boy. Fuck you for laughing. But much like when we saw them on the Honda Civic tour, the sound sucked. Their sound guy needs to be taken out back and beaten. And I refuse to believe they distort anything to make them sound better. Fall Out Boy owns you, fuckers!
Thank God for Akon, because by now I had to pee again and I was getting kind of hungry. They prefaced his time slot with a lovely video about being a vegetarian (even if everyone just chooses one day in the week to not eat meat, we can all make a difference! ) that featured close ups of animals' assholes with shit coming out of them. I'm sorry that I'm not painting a graphic enough picture for you with my explanation. But fuck them and their messages! This just made me angry because they were trying to gross me out. And when I get angry, I crave meat. When said shitty artist took the stage (meaning Akon), we got up and waited in a long line for chicken fingers. I was in the midst of trying to put bbq sauce on my food when I heard them announce Zach Braff. Why were all the cool presenters coming out while I was away from my seat?
Then it was time for John Mayer. Surely, I'm aware of John Mayer, his music and that he's fairly attractive. I was not prepared however to see exactly how hot he was! Holy fuck! And he could play, too! As he did his guitar solos, he made all these faces. "I wonder if he makes those faces when he's having sex," I wondered aloud.
"You'll never know," Paul reminded me. Thanks, killjoy. Maybe he'll leak a porn tape someday. You don't know.
After the oh so hot man was finished playing, Melissa Ethridge came out and played and talked a lot. There was confetti. I hope it was environmentally safe. Most of what Melissa was saying was very political and I'm curious as to how much of it was aired on American TV. Her music and words had me welling up a bit. They showed the lyrics to her song behind her on the screen.
And while we're on the topic, Phillips was a sponsor of the show. This meant that we were treated to the same message all day about how we can consume less energy by changing just four of our light bulbs at home to one of their super enviro friendly light bulbs. They had eight hours to share other tips with us, but chose to only communicate this veiled advertisement. Remember kids, green does not exclude greed.
Melissa Ethridge introduced Al Gore again who came out to tell us about his seven principles or whatever. Alicia Keys was next. She played "If I Ain't Got You" and I remembered how much I love that song. Some British lady sat in the empty seat next to me and sparked up. She started chatting with some guy about her kids and asked if he had ever heard of the Grateful Dead because she had seen Dave Matthews open for them and mentioned that smoking pot was her favorite thing to do. Another lady came up the aisle wearing a tiara and did a little beauty queen wave at some of her friends. That made me giggle a little.
Dave Matthews played and took his usual six minutes between songs, dragging the whole set out. Kelly Clarkson was next. I love her. Fuck you all again for laughing. Everyone was digging the Kelly. There were a bunch of meat head jocks behind us cheering for her to sing "Since U Been Gone!" Kenye West was next. I took another walk and ate a chocolate chip brownie.
You really haven't lived until you see a stadium full of people in New Jersey watch Bon Jovi play. Cameron "When Paris Hilton suffers, we all suffer" Diaz introduced him and the place went nuts. He was ok, I guess. Bon Jovi is pretty touch and go with me. I either love his songs or hate them.
Smashing Pumpkins came out and rocked hard. I think they may have been my favorite act of the day. It was just getting dark. They were loud and angry on "Bullet with Butterfly Wings." I loved every second, until the last song at least. I've never been a big fan of "Today."
Roger Waters came out with no introduction. He just played. He finished with the Wall. I'm not sure that's the best song to be playing at Live Earth, but whatever. I've never really liked Pink Floyd all that much. The flying pig made its round and with an inscription on its side that said "S.O.S. Save Our Sausages."
This left time for about four songs from the Police. The first, I'm guessing, they wrote for the event. It was ok. From there they went into "Roxanne" and "Can't Stand Losing You" wrapping up with the oh so predictable "Message in a Bottle" with John Mayer on guitar and Kenye West doing some annoying rap in the middle. The show finished round about 10:30 and I must say that I'm pretty excited about going to see the Police later this summer.
We made our way out. The kind folks from Pepsi were handing out cans of their tasty beverage for the ride home. I noticed a lot of garbage on the ground left behind by the crowd, although I will say that there were a lot more recycling bins everywhere and people were a little better about it than at a regular concert. I even saw a few people picking bottles up off the ground and throwing them into the recycling bins. I supported my underground economy by buying another t-shirt. It was green and cooler looking than the officially licensed one. We escaped the parking lot quickly and again without incident.
All in all, it was a fun day and a good concert. I don't know if it will necessarily make a world of difference, but at least I enjoyed my day.
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