How to recognize them: They watch your every move as a parent. They don’t care what seems to work for you and your child. They feel their experiences are the absolute end all be all of parenting and that’s how it should be. No one else’s opinion matters. They are right. You are clearly wrong.
Frequently heard saying: “You shouldn’t feed your baby so much. You don’t want her to be fat.”
“She’s not hungry. She just wants to suck on something.”
“You can’t just shove a bottle in her mouth every time she fusses.”
Why they bug: Nothing burns my ass more than people who criticize, ignore and sometimes outright undermine my parental judgments and orders. I'm the one with the permanent scars from giving birth. That makes me the boss, not you. Watch me shove a bottle in her mouth when she cries. She IS hungry, asshole. That’s the only time she cries. If she just wanted to suck or chew, she’d take a pacifier. But she spits it out because nothing comes out of it. She’s a growing baby. You can’t just starve her. You never even bothered to ask how much she eats in a given day. My pediatrician is not concerned about her weight. He is a well-educated medical expert. If he doesn’t care, neither should you. She's eating breastmilk, not Big Macs. And why should I take your advice when all your five year old eats is hot dog rolls?
Their retort: “Well, I guess you know best…”
My response: You bet your fat stupid ass I know best what is right for my child. Shut up and worry about your own kids.
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Yep, because girls need to start dieting in infancy.
ReplyDeleteYou are a wonderful Mom, Chrissy. There will always be unsolicited (mostly bad) advice and competitive parenting. You are strong and competent enough to dismiss that BS.
Thank you, Chris.
ReplyDeleteUgh. This made me grouchy just reading it. Both my kids have been diagnosed with Failure to Thrive, at some point in their lives, due to their numerous health issues. We had to up their caloric intake, and supplement and anything else to get them to gain weight. And my inlaws would always say, "You shouldn't feed them junk. They are going to get fat." One day I looked at them and said, "Actually, we are trying to make them fat. Because being fat is better than being dead!!" They stopped commenting after that. :)
ReplyDeleteI know my opinion may not mean much because well I don't have a parenting philosopy, because I don't have or want a child, but I think you and Paul are wonderful parents. There are about a million choices you can make about parenting and some are right for some parents and there kids and some are write for others. Every situation is different. You know what is best for your child better than anyone else. Anyone who says other wise is just so insecure about their own lives that they aren't worth taking seriously.
ReplyDeletePS a few snarky questions for our creep of the week
1. where do you get diet breast milk?
2. what kind of activity points are there on infant weight - watchers?
i am such an asshole!
*snicker*
ReplyDeleteI believe diet breast milk contains Nutrisweet. It might cause baby cancer but we all know that nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
*eye roll*
I'll have to find out what kind of activity points you get for eating, sleeping, pooping and giggling. Because that's about the extent of her activities at the moment. I know. I'm so behind on the whole mom thing. I should probably get her on a soccer team somewhere. After all, she is three and a half months old already!
And Anna, your inlaws are a piece of work. I don't know what I'd do in your shoes.