Don't Look Back in Anger...My Oasis Concert Recap

Ick. No wonder I slept until 1 pm today. After seeing humanity at its worse, I'd rather just stay in bed with my cat sleeping at my feet. He's happy and peaceful and not the least be pretentious. Anyway, here goes.

We bought these concert tickets on our way to Rochester in February. Our friend Jimmy was with us and asked to come along. Jimmy, whose last name is Polish for "talks too much" normally makes me feel like this whenever he's around. But Jimmy was actually cool to hang out with last night and so not the problem.

The show was at Festival Pier in Philly. Prior to last night I had never been there. We got there super early having no clue as to what the parking situation would be. We grabbed beer and wraps at Cavanaugh's River Deck, which was actually pretty cool and then drank in the parking lot for a while. Then we went in.

Something to know about Festival Pier. Worst. Venue. Ever. The stage is on land that slopes backwards. Unless you are very close up front, you will see nothing. And if you're on the shorter side, like me, well, you're totally fucked.

Some odd things that I noticed during the show: I looked down on the ground and next to an empty plastic beer bottle was a pepper shaker, they played the theme song to the Banana Splits between acts, and at one point during Jet (the opening act) some guy blatantly slammed into my back, put his arm around me to apologize. Paul said he was checking me out, but I think he was trying to read the expression on my face which was a cross between, "You're fucking douche bag" and "Wow. You're hot." But a lot of men get that look from me...

Anyway, sometime after Jet played and my buzz had long worn out, these two Amazon women decided to stand directly in front of me. The one, who I will refer to as Stupid Bitch lit a cigarette and decided to hold it over her head. She was moving around, basically not paying any attention to anyone around her and damn near burned me. I kept telling Paul, "That bitch better move or she is going down." Paul, in a move that was totally unlike him, taps the girl and says, "Watch you're doing with that!" And of course I jumped and said, "Yeah you almost burned me." She gave some lame half hearted apology and carried on exactly as she was. There was another short person standing next to us, who also seemed quite annoyed. I just kept on running my mouth as I sometimes tend to do when stupid strangers annoy me. The stupid, Stupid Bitch actually turned around, with a bit of hostility I might add, and said, "Look, I'm sorry I almost burned you, ok?!?!" That was it. I told her to move if she had any intention of enjoying herself for the rest of the night. She actually said, "No. You move. I was here first." And I said, "No you stupid fucking bitch. I've been here since 7 o'fuckingclock. You just walked over here and stood right in front of me. You better move because I am so fucking pissed at you right now, you fucking bitch that I will take you down." Okay...not my proudest moment. But it was like 90 degrees. I was annoyed and, well, she was fucking bitch. She just looked at me and said, "Yeah, you probably could. Enjoy the show," and turned around. I gave her the finger. Kicked some garbage at her and eventually as the band came on she moved closer to the stage. Whatever.

So, I let it go. Tried to get into the show, but I couldn't see a fucking thing. Then, this gigantic (well over 6 feet tall and built) British guy who was wandering around decided to stop directly in front of me and Paul. So, Paul taps him on the shoulder and gives him this shrug like, "how fucking ignorant are you?" But the guy doesn't get it. So I kicked a beer bottle into him and elbowed him as I turned around to talk to Paul. The guy then turns to Paul and says, "Are you kidding me? *You're* kicking me?!?!" And I said, "No, I kicked you mother fucker." But he didn't say anything to me. Then some other asshole comes and actually stands right between me and Paul. I practically stepped on him and he started yelling at me and I said, "Why don't you move, you're kind of in my way?!?!" So he did. Then the British guy moved behind us and apologized to Paul, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bug you." And I felt bad for kicking him. Damn he was hot...but anyway...

About the music - They were good, not as good as U2, but good. I wish I could have actually seen them, but whatever. They closed with My Generation. I don't understand why every group that I go see anymore covers the Who, but whatever. They played Don't Look Back in Anger as the second to last song of the encore. That is my favorite, and just seemed so appropriate.

The bottom line is that I don't care if George Harrison and John Lennon rise from the dead and have a free Beatles reunion at fucking Festival Pier. I'm not going. I wouldn't go if I was Joe Santiago's personal guest if the Pixies decided to ever play in Philadelphia again. Not happening. It's a sucky place.

And why am I so goddamned angry lately? I just have no tolerance for anyone or anything anymore. I need to think some more about this...

Woo Hoo! I Got Tori Tickets!

Center section, 24th row.

And Ticketmaster can bite my ass.

The Joys of Being a Ho Moaner

So today I came home for lunch, as I usally do. I came down stairs to check my email and heard what sounded like a faucet running...from the part of the (finished) basement where the piping is. I opened the door to the little room built around the piping and discovered water pouring out of a joint in the piping. AAAAAGGGGHHH!! I couldn't even think. It took me a second to even realize wher the bucket is.

Long story short, the plumber came, looked at it and said, "I don't even know what the piece is." Greeeeaaaat! He ended up installing a new pipe ($60) and only $15 for labor. So I guess it wasn't *so* bad. But I got back to work late. It's a good thing it's been dead there the last few days...and that I went home for lunch.

Let's Say Bad Things About People Who Will Never Read This

1. The Amish

I am so sick of your bikes and horses and buggies slowing traffic down. In my world, time doesn't wait. I'm annoyed at the fact that I practically have to do bookkeeping for some of your businesses just because I have a computer and I'm able to use it. And you smell like b.o. and cow shit.

2. The Illiterate

I simply don't understand how you function. There are times when I am too vain to wear my glasses and need help reading menus and signs and things. What the fuck do you do in the situations? Why do you trust me when you come into my office and expect me to write out your check for you? I mean, obviously I'm an asshole or I wouldn't be writing this. Don't you feel like you're missing out on a huge part of life? Don't you feel like you've cheated yourself? Or do you simply not care at all? Did you actually *go* to school? I mean, I don't remember not being able to read...I know it was before Kindergarten. I'd have some respect for you if you at least tried to learn. But to just expect to be able to lean on the rest of us to get you through annoys the hell out of me.

I Can't Believe I'm Awake and Smiling

So last night, I went out with my former step cousin Heather (her mom's second husband was my dad's cousin...please let me know if you need a diagram). Heather and I haven't been out in ages. So I primped and dolled myself up and got ready. We ended up being late because Wachovia Bank is full of fuckers. He received his new ATM card yesterday, but his PIN was reset and now he can't use the card, all because the acccount expired since they hadn't sent him a card in the first place (again, I can draw a diagram...). And when he called to find out why the card wouldn't work, they told him that he should get the PIN number in the mail tomorrw. Um...we don't get mail on Sundays...

Anyway, we show up late because of all this, stole a table from another section, and sat ourselves down in the middle of a weird situation. On the other side of the table from me was Heather's husband, her ex-husband and some random hot guy in between them. Heather introduces me to the hot guy and through conversation we discover that he works for one of my customers...but a good customer, meaning I really don't have to deal with them. We order food, drink a little and then we go to the Maingate because Heather wants to dance.

We show up at the Maingate and we are by far the youngest people there. By far! I'm like, "Hey where's the after party? At a geriatrics home?" and "When are they going to open the bingo room?" On the dance floor is a guy who looks suspiciously like Al Roker the weather guy and he was wearing a fanny pack dancing by himself. In fact, the Al look alike was the only guy on the dance floor. They were playing dance songs from about 9 or 10 years ago, which I don't mind exactly because I actually know those songs. So as the dance floor gained a few people and our alcohol levels increased, we danced a little.

Then this other guy and girl that were with us said that they wanted to go to Croc Rocks. Since pretty girls always get their own way, we left. Paul was worried about running into his parents anyway. We told them that if they were looking for a younger crowd, Phoebe Home was right down the street. When we got to Croc Rocks, we discoverd Crystal Roxx was playing. I hate them. At least I used to, they might be better now, but I'll never know because I watched them do one bad Alice In Chains cover and we went downstairs. Heather talked me into getting up with her to sing some gay Shania Twain song that I don't know in the karaoke room. I didn't know how the song went so I just kinda stood there like Ashlee Simpson (minus the hoe down) with the microphone down by my side.

Heather kept whining that she wanted to dance but couldn't because the dance rooms were playing bad music and no one was in them, so we went back to the Maingate. They let us right back in because, for whatever reason, they remembered us. It was a little more crowded and younger at this point. There are a few bars in there and when I ordered a Miller Lite, this one lady gave me a draft. She said that was all they had, but in the meantime, there were bottles on the other side of the room. Bitch.

We danced a little. I tried to get Paul to dance a little by threatening to dance with the hot guy, but that didn't work. I don't really think he cared. And besides, the hot guy was on the prowl, but all of the girls he was trying to dance with kept ignoring him. That was actually kind of entertaining. Heather and I were smashed by this point. We left and came home.

I woke up this morning and not only am I not hung over (I really don't get hangovers...I can actually count the number of times that I've had them and tell you specifically what I did that night and how much I drank), but my batteries are fully charged and I am full of energy! I guess I should get going to so I can get stuff done.

I Did It!

I bought the car. It will be here in 6-8 weeks.

The dealership I went to tonight, Performance Toyota in Sinking Springs, is family owned. They were all really nice. The finance guy used to work for the same company I worked at when I graduated from college. AND they offered me $2700 for the Fuckus! A far cry from $1100. And it's actually more than I thought I was going to get. Although, I didn't have a choice about buying the floor mats. But I still came out slightly ahead of what I was thinking.

I really didn't expect to do it today, but I did. It seems to be working out. I hope I don't jinx it.

I Love a Good Wedding

Dave's wedding was fantastic! Open bar...bad dance music...good friends. We were drunk and dancing and goofy. It made me realize how much I really miss everyone. I've been so distant lately.

I also realized how much Amy and I have drifted. It seems like ever since she and Chris got together we have talked and hung out less and less. I don't know if it's just that she's always been so wrapped up in the whole thing, or if it's the weirdness because he and I dated very very briefly (but not brief enough if you know what I mean. ). But that all shouldn't matter. I'm the one who encouraged her to go for it. The fact that it didn't work with me doesn't mean that it wouldn't work with her. And it seems to be working well. I just want to see my friend happy. But I really wish we were close again.

We met Maggie's new man, but I really don't have an opinion on him yet. Brenda was a drunken mess. Everyone seems kind of worried about her. She's had a rough couple of months. It seems as though she hardly eats and looks like a skeleton. I just hope she pulls herself together soon.

And we've decided that anything below the PA turnpike should belong to Maryland. I mean, for God's sake there were people eating grits at Denny's this morning.

The Toyota Dealership called AGAIN yesterday morning and sent two emails. Hahahahaha. I'm also so bored right now I'm half tempted to take a ride to see if the car is still there. I've made a firm decision that I don't want it. I'm going to order one. This one had some extra stuff that drove up the price that I really don't need, like a cargo net and I believe floor mats. Screw that. So, maybe I'll even leave a voice mail or send another email and just say that I've decided to order and I'm giving that order to whoever gives me the best price on the trade. The message from the sales guy was pretty amusing, "I realize now that we were a little light on the trade..." Light? Ha! You were STINGY! I'm going to tell him that too.

It's all just fun and games now...