Eh, why not?
Paul sent me a basket of daisies today. I was totally surprised. I didn't expect that. And they smell wonderful!!!
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Tori, How You Disappoint Me
I finally bothered to get Tori Amos' Beekeeper CD. Blah. It's really long. And it's all starting to sound alike to me...and very similar to Scarlet's Walk.
A not so wise man once asked me, "Why can't we go back to a simpler time?"
Maybe I'll just have to listen to this a few more times, but I'm longing for the Little Earthquake days. That CD has character.
I have to say that I really like the pictures and art in the special edition. I don't know what is different in the regular issue.
Still looking forward to seeing her next month though...and having some time when school is over to read her book.
A not so wise man once asked me, "Why can't we go back to a simpler time?"
Maybe I'll just have to listen to this a few more times, but I'm longing for the Little Earthquake days. That CD has character.
I have to say that I really like the pictures and art in the special edition. I don't know what is different in the regular issue.
Still looking forward to seeing her next month though...and having some time when school is over to read her book.
Saturday, July 9, 2005
Where I really was tonight
I hope you all don't think less of me for what I'm about to tell you.
Tonight, I finally went to see Revenge of the Sith...for the first time. And I honestly thought I was the last person in America to see it, but I was wrong. The theater was pretty full. And with the exception of one guy who looked like he was there every night to see it since it opened, I believe others were Sith virgins too.
I really hope you nerds don't disown me for taking so long. I liked it and the time really flew. Although I hated knowing the outcome of everything. It was a little anticlimactic and some parts dragged a little because of this ("Okay okay. I know you both survive this little battle...get on with it..."). And I still wince and yell "Noooo!" any time Yoda falls or appears hurt. Please tell me that puts me back in your dorky good graces.
I came home from the movie and realized that I have a new pet. I found this when I came home for lunch today.
It won't leave. I put Shmuffin out on the porch to try to scare it away. It didn't move. I yelled at it, flipped it the bird (ha! get it?) and nothing. It just looks at me. I guess it has eggs up there. I don't want to hurt it, so I guess I'll just have to leave it alone for now. I'll take it down when it is evident that she's done. And yes, she is still here 13 hours later.
We named her Spike.
Tonight, I finally went to see Revenge of the Sith...for the first time. And I honestly thought I was the last person in America to see it, but I was wrong. The theater was pretty full. And with the exception of one guy who looked like he was there every night to see it since it opened, I believe others were Sith virgins too.
I really hope you nerds don't disown me for taking so long. I liked it and the time really flew. Although I hated knowing the outcome of everything. It was a little anticlimactic and some parts dragged a little because of this ("Okay okay. I know you both survive this little battle...get on with it..."). And I still wince and yell "Noooo!" any time Yoda falls or appears hurt. Please tell me that puts me back in your dorky good graces.
I came home from the movie and realized that I have a new pet. I found this when I came home for lunch today.
It won't leave. I put Shmuffin out on the porch to try to scare it away. It didn't move. I yelled at it, flipped it the bird (ha! get it?) and nothing. It just looks at me. I guess it has eggs up there. I don't want to hurt it, so I guess I'll just have to leave it alone for now. I'll take it down when it is evident that she's done. And yes, she is still here 13 hours later.
We named her Spike.
Friday, July 8, 2005
Bittersweet
So the good news tonight is that my class was cancelled. The bad news was that I drove 45 minutes to get there only to find a bunch of people from my class walking out telling me it was cancelled. I wasn't entirely sure that these people were actually in my class since I sit in the back and all I ever see are the backs of their heads. So I ducked into the bathroom of the building so that they didn't think I was going back to the classroom to see for myself. I came out, went up the steps and was met by some other guy and he told me that it was cancelled. I think his jaw hit the ground when I said, "Well fuck it then. I'm going to the mall." We walked out together and we talked about the paper that we have to write. Then he started going off on this tangent about how he saw some study about how men who aren't circumcized are more likely to get HIV.
Alrighty then...I'll just chalk that up to information that I can use if ever faced with an uncircumcized penis.
The mall was a bust...the Tower Records seems to have disappeared. I talked to Paul on my cell to tell him in my best (worst) fake Jersey accent that "my claayus was foughKin' cayncelled." (that's the best I can do with the phoenetics, kids...I hope you get the point). While I drove around looking for Tower, it suddenly it hit me that my company supplied the roof for a lot of the buildings around there that I hadn't seen before. I never really get to see what these things look like or what the area is like. I'm like, "That's MY Acme! That's MY Bahama Breeze."
I don't know what is more pathetic, the fact that I was actually pissed that my class was cancelled (I should be celebrating...it's long and boring) or that my first thought was "Damn! I could have vacuumed tonight!"
What the hell is wrong with me?
Alrighty then...I'll just chalk that up to information that I can use if ever faced with an uncircumcized penis.
The mall was a bust...the Tower Records seems to have disappeared. I talked to Paul on my cell to tell him in my best (worst) fake Jersey accent that "my claayus was foughKin' cayncelled." (that's the best I can do with the phoenetics, kids...I hope you get the point). While I drove around looking for Tower, it suddenly it hit me that my company supplied the roof for a lot of the buildings around there that I hadn't seen before. I never really get to see what these things look like or what the area is like. I'm like, "That's MY Acme! That's MY Bahama Breeze."
I don't know what is more pathetic, the fact that I was actually pissed that my class was cancelled (I should be celebrating...it's long and boring) or that my first thought was "Damn! I could have vacuumed tonight!"
What the hell is wrong with me?
Saturday, July 2, 2005
Happy Canada Day!
It seems like only yesterday I was roaming the streets of Toronto at 3 AM in my socks looking for a store that was still open that sold condoms. It's hard to believe that five years have passed since that fateful search that turned up nothing but two drunk Americans making out on the Sky Dome steps and my continued amore for our neighbors to the north. Canada, I love you despite your prominent flaws (namely Lake Ontario, Bryan Adams and the entire city of Vancouver). Here are some reasons why (in no particular order).
Second Cup Coffee - Okay, so what if it's not really coffee anymore by the time I'm finished with it. It gets cold up there and it keeps me warm, happy and hyper.
Moxy Fruvous - As cool as it is that I got to see their final show, I really wish this band would reunite. If for no other reason than I would get to see Canada's hottest man Jian Ghomeshi (AKA my next husband). Jian, if you ever happen to read this, you should know that I want to have like 10,000 of your babies. So we better get to work. I'm especially a big fan of their early 90's debut, Bargainville. It was love at first note the day I first heard "My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors." How could I resist lyrics that talked about pounding ouzo with Mario Puzo and cuddling up with that lovable junky William S. Burroughs? The CD also has a serious folky side too with songs about the Persian Gulf war and saving the river valley. Liberal and literate Canadian boys are just so hot.
Lacrosse is Canada's National Sport - Most people don't know that, but you can clearly see that in their culture. One time this Canadian lacrosse player was telling me a story about how he thought someone was breaking into his house so he picked up his lacrosse stick to go take look around. Now, had that happened in the states, he would have picked up a baseball bat, not as practical considering that a lacrosse stick has a net that you could use to detain the burglar. And again, lacrosse has brought us some very attractive Canadian men such as Jeff Ratcliffe, Andrew Martin, and everyone's favorite flag burner - Patty "I was only dancing on it to put out the flames" O'Toole.
The street vendors in Canada sell veggie dogs - and there's nothing like them in stores. After our 2000 trip to Toronto for Canada day, I showed up unannounced at Paul's apartment with a pack of veggie dogs and his favorite condiments. Despite not having the same rubbery texture, this was the move that sealed the deal in his heart. I thought for sure showing up unannounced would scare him off. Damn.
Aero Bars are abundant in Canada - Damn you, Nestle! There's a market for them here. You can keep the mint ones, though. They suck.
Molson Canadian twin labels - I have this bad habit of continuing to buy them all night to see what the next one is going to say...yeah, that's the reason. Marketing geniuses!
Canada has a nicer view of Niagara Falls - It's true. There isn't much to see in upstate New York.
Sue Johanson - This woman makes Dr. Ruth look as repressed as Pat Roberston. There's nothing like getting sex advice from a woman who looks like my grandmother and talks dirty in such a matter of fact way. Take, for example, this excerpt from my favorite episode of the Sunday Night Sex Show.
Caller: Uh, I suffer from premature ejaculation, ay... (caller begins rambling about his problems and I suddenly realize that I recognize this guy's voice. Nice fake Canadian accent, "Ben." You are soooo busted!)
Sue: Well, have you tried a cock ring, dear? (Sue then pulls out this big bag full of brightly colored dildos and other sex devices and pulls out a cock ring to make every man watching very uncomfortable)
I couldn't make that up if I tried.
Sports Betting - I'm a girl who is typically afraid of football pools and March Madness brackets, but this is something I can handle. Pick the winner of three of the day's games (typically baseball or hockey...when there is a hockey season, that is) and your winnings are based on the odds of the game. Don't be put off by that. The computer calculates it for you. Now if only betting on pro lacrosse was an option...
The Kids In the Hall - This show has great characters like Buddy Cole and Kathy with a K (who looks suspiciously like me coworder Cathy with a C) and some great writing and comedic timing ("Mo mo, do you like working here?" "Oh yes! Everyone is so flamable!"). It never gets old, either. *Gasp!* I had the pear dream again.
Crocodile Rock - Yes, I know. Every major city seems to have a bar that goes by this name (thank you, Queenie Elton), but this place is awesome! First off ladies, check your men at the border because this is a total sausage factory and a major ego boost. I believe I was there for all of about 10 minutes by the time three guys hit on me (including a little Frenchy that my husband nicknamed Jean Claude Van Dumbass). It was at this place that I danced with Paul for the first time. And afterward, outside was the first time he told me that he loved me (probably out of fear that I was going to hook up with Jean Claude...it took him another four months to say it again).
Degrassi - It goes there. From the original low budget, bad acting Degrassi Junior High to the shinier newer Degrassi the Next Generation, this show is great for all the wrong reasons. How does everything happen to the same characters at the same school? Take Kathleen from the original series. Okay, let's see, her mom was an alcoholic, she developed an eating disorder, she took what she thought was some sort of drug only to find out that it was just an over the counter medicine and her boyfriend smacked her up a bit (and frankly, who could blame him? She was fucking annoying). And then there's the token teenage mom whose baby daddy takes the diaper money and goes to a concert, drops acid and becomes mentally damaged for life after taking a long walk off of a short bridge. It goes to show that even though they live in the glorious country of Canada, life still sucks.
On tonight's episode, little Emma is all grown up and contracting gonorrhea by becoming Degrassi's blowjob queen. This episode ran nearly a year ago in Canada. Here in the states, we have to wait. And fill in episodes of the now defunct Radio Free Roscoe don't quite reach the same level of cheese. I guess I should be happy that they're even running the episode at all considering an episode about the school slut's abortion was canned on The - N.
I could go on and on about Wayne Gretzky, the beauty of Ottawa, the legality of gay marriages, universal health care, the club district in Montreal and my love affair with the Eaton Centre. But I won't. You'll just have to take a trip and discover some of that joy for yourself.
Second Cup Coffee - Okay, so what if it's not really coffee anymore by the time I'm finished with it. It gets cold up there and it keeps me warm, happy and hyper.
Moxy Fruvous - As cool as it is that I got to see their final show, I really wish this band would reunite. If for no other reason than I would get to see Canada's hottest man Jian Ghomeshi (AKA my next husband). Jian, if you ever happen to read this, you should know that I want to have like 10,000 of your babies. So we better get to work. I'm especially a big fan of their early 90's debut, Bargainville. It was love at first note the day I first heard "My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors." How could I resist lyrics that talked about pounding ouzo with Mario Puzo and cuddling up with that lovable junky William S. Burroughs? The CD also has a serious folky side too with songs about the Persian Gulf war and saving the river valley. Liberal and literate Canadian boys are just so hot.
Lacrosse is Canada's National Sport - Most people don't know that, but you can clearly see that in their culture. One time this Canadian lacrosse player was telling me a story about how he thought someone was breaking into his house so he picked up his lacrosse stick to go take look around. Now, had that happened in the states, he would have picked up a baseball bat, not as practical considering that a lacrosse stick has a net that you could use to detain the burglar. And again, lacrosse has brought us some very attractive Canadian men such as Jeff Ratcliffe, Andrew Martin, and everyone's favorite flag burner - Patty "I was only dancing on it to put out the flames" O'Toole.
The street vendors in Canada sell veggie dogs - and there's nothing like them in stores. After our 2000 trip to Toronto for Canada day, I showed up unannounced at Paul's apartment with a pack of veggie dogs and his favorite condiments. Despite not having the same rubbery texture, this was the move that sealed the deal in his heart. I thought for sure showing up unannounced would scare him off. Damn.
Aero Bars are abundant in Canada - Damn you, Nestle! There's a market for them here. You can keep the mint ones, though. They suck.
Molson Canadian twin labels - I have this bad habit of continuing to buy them all night to see what the next one is going to say...yeah, that's the reason. Marketing geniuses!
Canada has a nicer view of Niagara Falls - It's true. There isn't much to see in upstate New York.
Sue Johanson - This woman makes Dr. Ruth look as repressed as Pat Roberston. There's nothing like getting sex advice from a woman who looks like my grandmother and talks dirty in such a matter of fact way. Take, for example, this excerpt from my favorite episode of the Sunday Night Sex Show.
Caller: Uh, I suffer from premature ejaculation, ay... (caller begins rambling about his problems and I suddenly realize that I recognize this guy's voice. Nice fake Canadian accent, "Ben." You are soooo busted!)
Sue: Well, have you tried a cock ring, dear? (Sue then pulls out this big bag full of brightly colored dildos and other sex devices and pulls out a cock ring to make every man watching very uncomfortable)
I couldn't make that up if I tried.
Sports Betting - I'm a girl who is typically afraid of football pools and March Madness brackets, but this is something I can handle. Pick the winner of three of the day's games (typically baseball or hockey...when there is a hockey season, that is) and your winnings are based on the odds of the game. Don't be put off by that. The computer calculates it for you. Now if only betting on pro lacrosse was an option...
The Kids In the Hall - This show has great characters like Buddy Cole and Kathy with a K (who looks suspiciously like me coworder Cathy with a C) and some great writing and comedic timing ("Mo mo, do you like working here?" "Oh yes! Everyone is so flamable!"). It never gets old, either. *Gasp!* I had the pear dream again.
Crocodile Rock - Yes, I know. Every major city seems to have a bar that goes by this name (thank you, Queenie Elton), but this place is awesome! First off ladies, check your men at the border because this is a total sausage factory and a major ego boost. I believe I was there for all of about 10 minutes by the time three guys hit on me (including a little Frenchy that my husband nicknamed Jean Claude Van Dumbass). It was at this place that I danced with Paul for the first time. And afterward, outside was the first time he told me that he loved me (probably out of fear that I was going to hook up with Jean Claude...it took him another four months to say it again).
Degrassi - It goes there. From the original low budget, bad acting Degrassi Junior High to the shinier newer Degrassi the Next Generation, this show is great for all the wrong reasons. How does everything happen to the same characters at the same school? Take Kathleen from the original series. Okay, let's see, her mom was an alcoholic, she developed an eating disorder, she took what she thought was some sort of drug only to find out that it was just an over the counter medicine and her boyfriend smacked her up a bit (and frankly, who could blame him? She was fucking annoying). And then there's the token teenage mom whose baby daddy takes the diaper money and goes to a concert, drops acid and becomes mentally damaged for life after taking a long walk off of a short bridge. It goes to show that even though they live in the glorious country of Canada, life still sucks.
On tonight's episode, little Emma is all grown up and contracting gonorrhea by becoming Degrassi's blowjob queen. This episode ran nearly a year ago in Canada. Here in the states, we have to wait. And fill in episodes of the now defunct Radio Free Roscoe don't quite reach the same level of cheese. I guess I should be happy that they're even running the episode at all considering an episode about the school slut's abortion was canned on The - N.
I could go on and on about Wayne Gretzky, the beauty of Ottawa, the legality of gay marriages, universal health care, the club district in Montreal and my love affair with the Eaton Centre. But I won't. You'll just have to take a trip and discover some of that joy for yourself.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Bennett Toyota Strikes Again
I love it.
I got this email today that they are coming up 10 cars short for their monthly goals. Bwahahahahaha.
So I sent a "nice" email back saying that I ordered the car from a dealership that offered me much much more money on my trade. I was sure to mention that the car I ordered was exactly the same car that I test drove and that that was unfortunate for them, considering how close they are to their goals and all. Then I kindly asked them to remove me from their list.
Losers.
I got this email today that they are coming up 10 cars short for their monthly goals. Bwahahahahaha.
So I sent a "nice" email back saying that I ordered the car from a dealership that offered me much much more money on my trade. I was sure to mention that the car I ordered was exactly the same car that I test drove and that that was unfortunate for them, considering how close they are to their goals and all. Then I kindly asked them to remove me from their list.
Losers.
Monday, June 27, 2005
Oy With the Anxiety Already
Tomorrow is my first day of school. I'm nervous for some reason. It's just a six week summer deal and it's not like it's my first class in the program or anything. I know absolutely nothing about this professor because he adjunct. There's nothing about him on www.ratemyprofessor.com. Nothing. If he's a tool, I'm not going back. I'll just drop it and take the summer off.
I can't concentrate today for some reason. My mind keeps wandering. The day is passing quickly at least.
The garage door would not close last nigh and then I pulled on the manual release lever (does that sound dirty to anyone else? No? Okay, I'm a perv) and it crashed. Yikes. The guy will be coming tomorrow or later in the week to fix it. I just can't win with this house lately, but for the most part it's a great place.
Paul is going to Mexico next month for work and I'm trying to figure out what I want to do while he's gone. I priced flights to Seeeeeeaaaaaatttlle to go see Jam, but they're too expensive at this point. I could go to New York or I could stick with the idea of just staying home and throwing a party, but I don't know what everyone else is doing, nor do I know what is going to be going on with school at that point because the adjunct tool of a professor probably has no idea how to use blackboard and hasn't given us the syllabus yet. I guess I'll know better tomorrow.
Off to go breathe into a paperbag....
I can't concentrate today for some reason. My mind keeps wandering. The day is passing quickly at least.
The garage door would not close last nigh and then I pulled on the manual release lever (does that sound dirty to anyone else? No? Okay, I'm a perv) and it crashed. Yikes. The guy will be coming tomorrow or later in the week to fix it. I just can't win with this house lately, but for the most part it's a great place.
Paul is going to Mexico next month for work and I'm trying to figure out what I want to do while he's gone. I priced flights to Seeeeeeaaaaaatttlle to go see Jam, but they're too expensive at this point. I could go to New York or I could stick with the idea of just staying home and throwing a party, but I don't know what everyone else is doing, nor do I know what is going to be going on with school at that point because the adjunct tool of a professor probably has no idea how to use blackboard and hasn't given us the syllabus yet. I guess I'll know better tomorrow.
Off to go breathe into a paperbag....
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