How to recognize them: They invite you to their dog’s birthday party or some other inane event and expect you to attend (with a gift or a dish, because after all, that’s just good manners). If you decline, they guilt trip you. And when it’s your cat’s birthday, suddenly they’re all allergic and shit. Or they have to go fishing.
Frequently heard saying: “Sorry I can’t come to your banquet. I have a pedicure scheduled that afternoon. But congrats on winning the Nobel Peace Prize! You’re still coming to my Longaberger Basket party, right? Can you bake a batch of those cookies I really like and bring them? The ones you make at Christmas time from scratch?”
Why they bug: I take the time to put your boring ass event on my calendar, sometimes turning down or even cancelling other plans. I sometimes have to find a sitter in order to attend. I go out of my way. But I don’t get the same from you. I'm not even sure if you know that I've had a child. You've never bothered to come see her. But the puppies your dog had last week are super cute!
Their retort: “No one asked you to get a sitter. Just bring the baby along. I don’t understand why she cries whenever I hold her, though.”
My response: It’s called stranger anxiety. She doesn’t know you because you don’t make an effort. And I no longer feel bad about it. You’re the one missing out.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
How To Spot A Douchebag
-He’s wearing an Ed Hardy t-shirt.
-He’s uptight and condescending.
-His favorite sports teams are the New York Yankees and/or the Dallas Cowboys
-He smiles when he is presenting news that will not be well received.
-He has to drive the Corvette because the Hummer was repossessed.
-Works so much that his own children don’t recognize him and has no idea that Dallas and Dynasty are no longer on television.
-He lacks logic when it comes to political issues. He’s not very informed and is likely a Republican.
-He's staring at your boobs right now.
-When he’s not working, he’s doing additional work either on his home or some sort of volunteer work. He talks about it incessantly and expects the world to kiss his ass. He’ll do anything to be a hero but again, his kids don’t even recognize him.
-He hits on married women.
-He listens to Nickelback.
-He plays a lot of poker.
-He reads nothing but bad mass market paperback books written by authors like Stephen King, James Patterson and Dean Koontz. He also thinks that he’s an intellectual because he reads at all.
-He enjoys a good pun.
-When you ask him what he does for a living, he says where he works but doesn’t necessarily tell you what he does.
-He frequently vacations in Vegas.
-He’s a hypocritical Christian.
-He reads my Creep Of The Week blog and says, “I hate people like that, too.” In the meantime, it was written about him.
-He’s uptight and condescending.
-His favorite sports teams are the New York Yankees and/or the Dallas Cowboys
-He smiles when he is presenting news that will not be well received.
-He has to drive the Corvette because the Hummer was repossessed.
-Works so much that his own children don’t recognize him and has no idea that Dallas and Dynasty are no longer on television.
-He lacks logic when it comes to political issues. He’s not very informed and is likely a Republican.
-He's staring at your boobs right now.
-When he’s not working, he’s doing additional work either on his home or some sort of volunteer work. He talks about it incessantly and expects the world to kiss his ass. He’ll do anything to be a hero but again, his kids don’t even recognize him.
-He hits on married women.
-He listens to Nickelback.
-He plays a lot of poker.
-He reads nothing but bad mass market paperback books written by authors like Stephen King, James Patterson and Dean Koontz. He also thinks that he’s an intellectual because he reads at all.
-He enjoys a good pun.
-When you ask him what he does for a living, he says where he works but doesn’t necessarily tell you what he does.
-He frequently vacations in Vegas.
-He’s a hypocritical Christian.
-He reads my Creep Of The Week blog and says, “I hate people like that, too.” In the meantime, it was written about him.
Monday, April 26, 2010
There's No Need To Try So Hard
I am the first person to bitch when I’ve received what I feel is bad customer service. I also praise and reward good service that goes above and beyond what is expected. But when companies try too hard, we all lose.
When I woke up this morning, the power was out. We had some bad weather over night. I assumed that the outage had something to do with that. I did my usual putzing around and by the time I finished it was back. By the time blinking on my oven, I assumed it had only been out for a half hour or so.
At three o’clock this afternoon, I received a prerecorded phone call from the power company explaining that the power had gone out this morning for a half hour. NO SHIT DICK TRACY! WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE SQUAD CAR? Even if I had not been home, I’m pretty sure I could have figured out that the power went out by the blinking clocks all over my house. Is it really necessary to call my house and possibly wake my napping baby?
Amazon.com also tries too hard with their customer service. When a customer makes a request to be removed from their automatic promotional email list, they send an email confirming that they’ve been removed. Um, thanks. I just told you that I no longer want emails from you and you send me an email to tell me that you will no longer be sending me emails. Here’s an idea. How about you just stop sending me emails? I will figure it out that you are no longer emailing me by the lack of emails from you in my inbox.
Maybe I’m just cranky. Maybe I should applaud these companies for taking their customers into consideration. Maybe I’m just smarter than the average bear and don’t need an explanation for every. single. thing. But at some point, over serving becomes a disservice.
When I woke up this morning, the power was out. We had some bad weather over night. I assumed that the outage had something to do with that. I did my usual putzing around and by the time I finished it was back. By the time blinking on my oven, I assumed it had only been out for a half hour or so.
At three o’clock this afternoon, I received a prerecorded phone call from the power company explaining that the power had gone out this morning for a half hour. NO SHIT DICK TRACY! WHERE DID YOU HIDE THE SQUAD CAR? Even if I had not been home, I’m pretty sure I could have figured out that the power went out by the blinking clocks all over my house. Is it really necessary to call my house and possibly wake my napping baby?
Amazon.com also tries too hard with their customer service. When a customer makes a request to be removed from their automatic promotional email list, they send an email confirming that they’ve been removed. Um, thanks. I just told you that I no longer want emails from you and you send me an email to tell me that you will no longer be sending me emails. Here’s an idea. How about you just stop sending me emails? I will figure it out that you are no longer emailing me by the lack of emails from you in my inbox.
Maybe I’m just cranky. Maybe I should applaud these companies for taking their customers into consideration. Maybe I’m just smarter than the average bear and don’t need an explanation for every. single. thing. But at some point, over serving becomes a disservice.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Creep Of The Week: People Who Think They're Cooler Than They Really Are Because They Live In A Place With Nice Weather
Blogger's Note: I know this isn't the most timely of pieces. I saved this blog for this time of year on purpose. I wanted to prove a point that bad weather is only a temporary problem, lasting only a few days. Living in a city of dicks is year round.
How to recognize them: They live somewhere like Las Vegas, Southern California or Hawaii. When there’s a snowstorm in the Midwest or the Northeast, they text or post annoying things on Facebook regarding the weather.
Frequently heard saying: “It must suck to have to shovel snow. It’s 70 degrees here and there isn’t a cloud in the sky.” “I have to go to the doctor to get myself checked for skin cancer. I’ve been spending way too much time in the sunshine.”
Why they bug: Just because the weather is nice where you live, that doesn’t mean there aren’t other problems that far outweigh the good. Las Vegas is crawling with douche bags. Californians are flakes. The cost of living in Hawaii is high. It still rains in most of these places. Give me the northeast, where not everyone is ultra obsessed with superficial things like their appearance. Poor weather also breeds a sense of urgency. We want to accomplish things before the bad weather arrives and get home before the roads suck.
Their retort: “While you’re out rushing around, I’ll be poolside.”
My response: I’m willing to sacrifice a few days where I’m snowed in and can’t get where I need to be. Sometimes it’s nice to avoid the rest of the world.
How to recognize them: They live somewhere like Las Vegas, Southern California or Hawaii. When there’s a snowstorm in the Midwest or the Northeast, they text or post annoying things on Facebook regarding the weather.
Frequently heard saying: “It must suck to have to shovel snow. It’s 70 degrees here and there isn’t a cloud in the sky.” “I have to go to the doctor to get myself checked for skin cancer. I’ve been spending way too much time in the sunshine.”
Why they bug: Just because the weather is nice where you live, that doesn’t mean there aren’t other problems that far outweigh the good. Las Vegas is crawling with douche bags. Californians are flakes. The cost of living in Hawaii is high. It still rains in most of these places. Give me the northeast, where not everyone is ultra obsessed with superficial things like their appearance. Poor weather also breeds a sense of urgency. We want to accomplish things before the bad weather arrives and get home before the roads suck.
Their retort: “While you’re out rushing around, I’ll be poolside.”
My response: I’m willing to sacrifice a few days where I’m snowed in and can’t get where I need to be. Sometimes it’s nice to avoid the rest of the world.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Suck It, Lactation Consultants!
Consider this your warning. I will likely be telling you this during my hospital stay when I have baby #2.
This baby has 36 hours to figure out how to latch and nurse properly. If she doesn’t get it, I’m going to pump. I’m sure you will have an opinion on this. I’m sure you will try to use it to influence me. I simply do not care what it is.
Last time around, the nurses gave my daughter a few ounces of formula while I napped. I didn’t need your snippy little comment about that later. If you had a problem with it, you should have said something to the nurse who gave it to her, not me. I was not even conscious when it happened. The baby was turning yellow and was obviously hungry. So she ate. I, her mother, was not bothered by it. So I don’t know why you should be.
All parties also became extremely frustrated in our previous experience as well, including the baby, my husband, the hospital staff and me. I reached a point where I was dreading my child waking up because I didn’t want to deal with it. Motherhood should not feel that way. Enjoying your child is imperative. When I finally decided to pump exclusively, I felt as though a gigantic weight had left my shoulders. I relaxed and had fun with my baby.
I'm not the picture of dietary health. If my child has to supplement with formula, it might actually be better than passing along all the processed foods that I consume. After having major surgery, I don't foresee having the ability or even the desire to go out and shop and cook fresh foods. I can barely do that now with a toddler. It's baby formula, with iron, vitamins and nutrients. It's not like I'm slapping a nipple on a bottle of Clorox.
I don’t want to hear that it’s “double duty” or “a lot of work.” It’s not. With my pump, I can produce twice as much milk in 20 minutes than she would likely take in a 45 minute nursing session. My husband can give her a bottle while I rest and recover. I can store the excess milk for a later time, which will keep her fed longer. I know exactly how much she has eaten, if it’s too much or too little. My first child also slept through the night by 11 weeks. Many breastfed children have trouble sleeping because the parents are unable to monitor and control how full the baby’s stomachs are. I never had that problem and was able to sleep well throughout the night as well.
And I never had to whip out my boob in public. Sure, carrying milk around can be a pain in the ass. But with two kids under the age of two, I don’t think I’m going to be going too many places anyway.
You may be an expert on nursing but I am the expert of my family. I managed to make this work last time and I’m willing to try again. Ultimately, I am the one who is going to have to live with the decision. My child and I will later be forgotten and inconsequential to you. I know it’s your job but this is my life.
This baby has 36 hours to figure out how to latch and nurse properly. If she doesn’t get it, I’m going to pump. I’m sure you will have an opinion on this. I’m sure you will try to use it to influence me. I simply do not care what it is.
Last time around, the nurses gave my daughter a few ounces of formula while I napped. I didn’t need your snippy little comment about that later. If you had a problem with it, you should have said something to the nurse who gave it to her, not me. I was not even conscious when it happened. The baby was turning yellow and was obviously hungry. So she ate. I, her mother, was not bothered by it. So I don’t know why you should be.
All parties also became extremely frustrated in our previous experience as well, including the baby, my husband, the hospital staff and me. I reached a point where I was dreading my child waking up because I didn’t want to deal with it. Motherhood should not feel that way. Enjoying your child is imperative. When I finally decided to pump exclusively, I felt as though a gigantic weight had left my shoulders. I relaxed and had fun with my baby.
I'm not the picture of dietary health. If my child has to supplement with formula, it might actually be better than passing along all the processed foods that I consume. After having major surgery, I don't foresee having the ability or even the desire to go out and shop and cook fresh foods. I can barely do that now with a toddler. It's baby formula, with iron, vitamins and nutrients. It's not like I'm slapping a nipple on a bottle of Clorox.
I don’t want to hear that it’s “double duty” or “a lot of work.” It’s not. With my pump, I can produce twice as much milk in 20 minutes than she would likely take in a 45 minute nursing session. My husband can give her a bottle while I rest and recover. I can store the excess milk for a later time, which will keep her fed longer. I know exactly how much she has eaten, if it’s too much or too little. My first child also slept through the night by 11 weeks. Many breastfed children have trouble sleeping because the parents are unable to monitor and control how full the baby’s stomachs are. I never had that problem and was able to sleep well throughout the night as well.
And I never had to whip out my boob in public. Sure, carrying milk around can be a pain in the ass. But with two kids under the age of two, I don’t think I’m going to be going too many places anyway.
You may be an expert on nursing but I am the expert of my family. I managed to make this work last time and I’m willing to try again. Ultimately, I am the one who is going to have to live with the decision. My child and I will later be forgotten and inconsequential to you. I know it’s your job but this is my life.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Finding My Niche
Over the weekend, I attended a writers’ conference. One of the seminars centered upon building a brand and finding your niche. It was a great presentation but it left me feeling a little lost.
The point to finding your niche is to become an expert at a topic you are passionate about, writing about it and marketing your work. There has to be money in the topic. Somewhere, someone has to be buying and selling something surrounding the subject. It has to appeal to businesses or trade publications so that you can sell your work.
This left me questioning what my niche is, exactly. Once upon a time, it may have been finance or credit. And it could still be, possibly. My hobbies include concert going, scrap booking and just about anything that the marketing types would call “experiencing,” such as hot air balloon rides or visiting new restaurants and bars.
Lately, however, my life has centered on being a mom and all things to do with babies and toddlers. I would never consider myself to be “an expert mom,” as I have sort of been fumbling through the motions figuring this whole thing out. My own mother has been deceased for ten years, so I don’t have her to turn to when I have questions. I rely on friends, my sister and mommy message boards for advice. I suppose I could take these lessons and pass them along to others like me. I try to keep my topics here diverse, as not all of my readers are parents and I don’t want to bore them. Try as I might to avoid the subject, this blog seems to gravitate to mommy issues. I should add that the "niche blog" would be its own entity, separate from this blog.
The problem is that I hate “mommy blogs.” Unless I know the author or her children personally, I tend to not care or be bored by their stories and pictures. I don’t want to be “that mom.” I don’t want it to be personal for other reasons as well. The internet is a scary place where weirdoes congregate. I don’t want them to learn too much about my children. If I did a real mommy blog, I would probably take a page out of Michael Jackson’s book and put masks or paper bags over my children’s faces before taking a picture that I would post. Or, if they were really bad that day, I’d use plastic bags.
Maybe that’s where the answer lies. Maybe I need to be that mom that does things a little differently; the one that isn’t offended when the Elmo Camera says, “Work it baby! Give it to Elmo!” Or I could be the mom who openly admits that she lets her daughter stay in her jammies all day and feeds her leftover cold pizza for lunch and apple juice that isn’t organic. The mom that’s different or alternative.
Or maybe I should just write about concerts.
The point to finding your niche is to become an expert at a topic you are passionate about, writing about it and marketing your work. There has to be money in the topic. Somewhere, someone has to be buying and selling something surrounding the subject. It has to appeal to businesses or trade publications so that you can sell your work.
This left me questioning what my niche is, exactly. Once upon a time, it may have been finance or credit. And it could still be, possibly. My hobbies include concert going, scrap booking and just about anything that the marketing types would call “experiencing,” such as hot air balloon rides or visiting new restaurants and bars.
Lately, however, my life has centered on being a mom and all things to do with babies and toddlers. I would never consider myself to be “an expert mom,” as I have sort of been fumbling through the motions figuring this whole thing out. My own mother has been deceased for ten years, so I don’t have her to turn to when I have questions. I rely on friends, my sister and mommy message boards for advice. I suppose I could take these lessons and pass them along to others like me. I try to keep my topics here diverse, as not all of my readers are parents and I don’t want to bore them. Try as I might to avoid the subject, this blog seems to gravitate to mommy issues. I should add that the "niche blog" would be its own entity, separate from this blog.
The problem is that I hate “mommy blogs.” Unless I know the author or her children personally, I tend to not care or be bored by their stories and pictures. I don’t want to be “that mom.” I don’t want it to be personal for other reasons as well. The internet is a scary place where weirdoes congregate. I don’t want them to learn too much about my children. If I did a real mommy blog, I would probably take a page out of Michael Jackson’s book and put masks or paper bags over my children’s faces before taking a picture that I would post. Or, if they were really bad that day, I’d use plastic bags.
Maybe that’s where the answer lies. Maybe I need to be that mom that does things a little differently; the one that isn’t offended when the Elmo Camera says, “Work it baby! Give it to Elmo!” Or I could be the mom who openly admits that she lets her daughter stay in her jammies all day and feeds her leftover cold pizza for lunch and apple juice that isn’t organic
Or maybe I should just write about concerts.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Creep of the Week: Bloggers Who Go on Unannounced Hiatuses
How to recognize them: They brag about blogging on a regular basis (Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, for example) and even tout a special feature every Friday. Then one day, all of a sudden, they just stop.
Frequently heard saying: “Read my blog!” “Follow me!” And then **crickets**
Why they bug: They brag about their set schedule, get you hooked on checking in on certain days and then disappear, completely slipping up on daylight. And really, how hard is it to write up a couple hundred words about your kid or some other mundane topic that no one cares about? Or do a silly formatted "column" that is only funny to you?
Their retort: “I’ve been really sick. Everyone in my house has been sick. The kid, the husband, even the cat is puking like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I’m knocked up and in charge of this infirmary. The blog just had to take the back burner for a week. I’ll be back in full force next week. Promise!”
My response: You better, bitch!
Frequently heard saying: “Read my blog!” “Follow me!” And then **crickets**
Why they bug: They brag about their set schedule, get you hooked on checking in on certain days and then disappear, completely slipping up on daylight. And really, how hard is it to write up a couple hundred words about your kid or some other mundane topic that no one cares about? Or do a silly formatted "column" that is only funny to you?
Their retort: “I’ve been really sick. Everyone in my house has been sick. The kid, the husband, even the cat is puking like nothing I’ve ever seen before. I’m knocked up and in charge of this infirmary. The blog just had to take the back burner for a week. I’ll be back in full force next week. Promise!”
My response: You better, bitch!
Monday, April 5, 2010
An Open Letter To The Church Ladies From A Chreastian
Dear Church Ladies:
Today I attended services at The Church of the Good Shepherd UCC in Alburtis, PA. I don’t consider myself to be a particularly religious person. I grew up Catholic and hold a lot of bitter sentiments toward the church's ideology. My husband is a member of your church and would like to raise our children to believe in God and Jesus Christ. I’m not opposed to the idea. I think that churches can teach positive values. Since your sect seems fairly open minded in regards to women and homosexuals, I feel most comfortable with your beliefs.
I’m not all that thrilled with your congregation, however. As an outsider and self proclaimed “Chreastian” (someone who tends to only attend services for Christmas and Easter), I just don’t feel very welcome in your church. One of the first women that spoke to me started asking questions about my daughter. They were not your typical, “What’s her name? How old is she?” kind of questions. I believe the exact question was, “You don’t bring her here much, do you?” My response was that we were just coming out of a long winter where she did not have a flu shot. I also told her that I am pregnant and also did not get a flu shot. I don’t think I’ve even gone to a grocery store since October. The flu in our house this winter would have been disastrous, possibly even dangerous. She didn’t say much else but when it came time for the neighborly “peace of Christ be with you” handshake part of the service her eyes immediately dropped to my bulging tummy and my ring finger. Isn’t it good manners to make eye contact when shaking someone’s hand?
The minister was fairly friendly today, although on other occasions he has passed along a guilt trip for not showing up. I know it’s his job to make sure people attend services. I won’t keep showing up if you’re going to be an ass to me. But I won’t dwell on past incidents since today you were cool. You didn’t even beg for money during your sermon, which from what I hear is commonplace. I don’t know if your wife was in attendance today or not. It seems that other times I have been there she was missing. I will forgive this, though, as I’m sure she’s very busy keeping that glass house of yours clean.
I do have to call the minister’s leadership into question as it appears that he lets a lot of you Church Ladies, especially those of you involved with the various choirs, run the show. I chose to attend Christmas services at a different church this year because your choir chose to have its cantata on Christmas Eve rather than a traditional service. To me, this gives the impression of wanting to show off to the people who don’t attend services as much, capturing a bigger audience. The problem with this is that I have a toddler and another baby on the way. Stretching what could be a 45-minute service out to an hour and a half is taxing on her and taxing me, especially my balance and bladder. I had to hold both the baby and my pee for a very long time this morning. I also got a little dizzy. And I was patiently waiting for my daughter to throw a fit or blow out the diaper under her pristine white bloomers. But we got lucky today. Since I only attend services twice a year, I have no reason to believe that this is not typical. I can’t make it through the hour and a half every week. I just can’t. As I mentioned before, I grew up Catholic. We had services on Saturday nights so that we wouldn’t have to get up early on Sundays. Those services also only lasted 25 minutes or so. I’m conditioned for a sprint, not a marathon.
Perhaps if I got the warm fuzzy feeling at your church, I would visit more often. Perhaps if we could compromise on how long and involved the service is, I’d feel more comfortable and even enjoy what’s going on. But this just feels like an awkward chore, or like high school gym class all over again. Everyone is checking me out and it’s too long and physically laborious. I guess I’ll just see you all again at Christmas, unless you decide to do the Cantata again.
Love,
A Chreastian
Today I attended services at The Church of the Good Shepherd UCC in Alburtis, PA. I don’t consider myself to be a particularly religious person. I grew up Catholic and hold a lot of bitter sentiments toward the church's ideology. My husband is a member of your church and would like to raise our children to believe in God and Jesus Christ. I’m not opposed to the idea. I think that churches can teach positive values. Since your sect seems fairly open minded in regards to women and homosexuals, I feel most comfortable with your beliefs.
I’m not all that thrilled with your congregation, however. As an outsider and self proclaimed “Chreastian” (someone who tends to only attend services for Christmas and Easter), I just don’t feel very welcome in your church. One of the first women that spoke to me started asking questions about my daughter. They were not your typical, “What’s her name? How old is she?” kind of questions. I believe the exact question was, “You don’t bring her here much, do you?” My response was that we were just coming out of a long winter where she did not have a flu shot. I also told her that I am pregnant and also did not get a flu shot. I don’t think I’ve even gone to a grocery store since October. The flu in our house this winter would have been disastrous, possibly even dangerous. She didn’t say much else but when it came time for the neighborly “peace of Christ be with you” handshake part of the service her eyes immediately dropped to my bulging tummy and my ring finger. Isn’t it good manners to make eye contact when shaking someone’s hand?
The minister was fairly friendly today, although on other occasions he has passed along a guilt trip for not showing up. I know it’s his job to make sure people attend services. I won’t keep showing up if you’re going to be an ass to me. But I won’t dwell on past incidents since today you were cool. You didn’t even beg for money during your sermon, which from what I hear is commonplace. I don’t know if your wife was in attendance today or not. It seems that other times I have been there she was missing. I will forgive this, though, as I’m sure she’s very busy keeping that glass house of yours clean.
I do have to call the minister’s leadership into question as it appears that he lets a lot of you Church Ladies, especially those of you involved with the various choirs, run the show. I chose to attend Christmas services at a different church this year because your choir chose to have its cantata on Christmas Eve rather than a traditional service. To me, this gives the impression of wanting to show off to the people who don’t attend services as much, capturing a bigger audience. The problem with this is that I have a toddler and another baby on the way. Stretching what could be a 45-minute service out to an hour and a half is taxing on her and taxing me, especially my balance and bladder. I had to hold both the baby and my pee for a very long time this morning. I also got a little dizzy. And I was patiently waiting for my daughter to throw a fit or blow out the diaper under her pristine white bloomers. But we got lucky today. Since I only attend services twice a year, I have no reason to believe that this is not typical. I can’t make it through the hour and a half every week. I just can’t. As I mentioned before, I grew up Catholic. We had services on Saturday nights so that we wouldn’t have to get up early on Sundays. Those services also only lasted 25 minutes or so. I’m conditioned for a sprint, not a marathon.
Perhaps if I got the warm fuzzy feeling at your church, I would visit more often. Perhaps if we could compromise on how long and involved the service is, I’d feel more comfortable and even enjoy what’s going on. But this just feels like an awkward chore, or like high school gym class all over again. Everyone is checking me out and it’s too long and physically laborious. I guess I’ll just see you all again at Christmas, unless you decide to do the Cantata again.
Love,
A Chreastian
Friday, April 2, 2010
Creep Of The Week: Facebook Reposters
How to recognize them: They spew propaganda on facebook that is uninformed, inaccurate and unoriginal in thought. They have nothing interesting going on or imaginative to say so they repost stupid crap. They usually have something to do with religion, politics, their children or some sort of disease.
Frequently heard saying: “The US Military walks on water and turns water into wine. Barack Obama does not want to give them any money because he wants the Muslims to take over the country because he is one. 99% of Americans will not have the guts to repost this because they don’t believe in God. Those people are unpatriotic Americans. They also don’t love their daughters, hate children with autism and think all women should die of breast cancer.”
Why they bug: Seriously, would it kill you to think for yourself? Do you realize how stupid this makes you look? Or, I don’t know, actually check your facts before spreading a bunch of bullshit on the internet? Why do we have to continue to polarize Democrats against Republicans, believers against non-believers? Can’t we all just get along? Do you really think that your facebook status is really going to make a big difference and change the world? Are you even registered to vote?
Their retort: “Those soldiers are dying in Iraq so that you can even have this blog. God bless America! It’s the greatest country in the world.”
My response: Holy crap! The Iraqis are trying to censor my blog?!?! I would have thought they had more pressing issues, what with all the bombing going on in their country. Who knew?
Frequently heard saying: “The US Military walks on water and turns water into wine. Barack Obama does not want to give them any money because he wants the Muslims to take over the country because he is one. 99% of Americans will not have the guts to repost this because they don’t believe in God. Those people are unpatriotic Americans. They also don’t love their daughters, hate children with autism and think all women should die of breast cancer.”
Why they bug: Seriously, would it kill you to think for yourself? Do you realize how stupid this makes you look? Or, I don’t know, actually check your facts before spreading a bunch of bullshit on the internet? Why do we have to continue to polarize Democrats against Republicans, believers against non-believers? Can’t we all just get along? Do you really think that your facebook status is really going to make a big difference and change the world? Are you even registered to vote?
Their retort: “Those soldiers are dying in Iraq so that you can even have this blog. God bless America! It’s the greatest country in the world.”
My response: Holy crap! The Iraqis are trying to censor my blog?!?! I would have thought they had more pressing issues, what with all the bombing going on in their country. Who knew?
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