How to recognize them: They stand in long lines for a die-sized cube of cheese at the grocery store.
Frequently heard saying: “Tuna and mayonnaise on a Ritz cracker? Sounds like an awesome lunch! I’ll take five. Oh, I can only have one? Well, I guess I’ll just have to get back in line.”
Why they bug: It’s one thing to grab a quick sample if you’re just walking by. But why stand around in line and take up so much space? You’re in my way, damn it! I’m trying to get in and out of the store before my toddler figures out how to unhook the cart’s seatbelt and jump out. And did I mention she’s screaming her head off because the cart is at a standstill since I can’t get around you? Don’t get me wrong. I’m the first to speak up when I feel that I’m owed something. Heck, I once got a guy fired over a free Snuggie. But that’s another blog for another day. A complimentary squirt of Purell is not the same thing.
Their retort: “I have to wait in line. What if they run out?”
My response: Well, wouldn’t that suck? Maybe you should dig some change out of your car’s cup holder and, oh I don’t know, buy a two-dollar box of cookies and get the fuck out of the store instead of standing in my way while eating them.
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I have overheard more than one person discussing "hitting all the sample booths" in Costco. What the fuck?
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