Excuse Me While I Bitch At The Marketing People

Dear Department Store Designers,

Why do you insist on putting your maternity and baby clothes in the corner of the store that is the farthest from the store’s entrance? Do you know who is buying these items? Fat, tired, pregnant ladies who don’t have the energy to walk from one far end of the mall or shopping center to the other.

I completely understand if you don’t want to put these items at the front of the store. After all, they are for a targeted market and do not have mass appeal. But do you really have to put them all the way in the back? Just the mere thought of trying to tackle the mall for what I want makes me tired, especially on a hot day. My lungs are being crushed by my ever expanding uterus. My feet are swollen from the heat. And sometimes, I'm dragging a year and a half year old around with me. Please, have a little mercy.

Perhaps you think it’s best to keep these departments near the restrooms, as I will need to get there as well at some point. I appreciate that line of thinking. Perhaps you think I need exercise. That’s probably true. But you really aren’t doing yourself any favors. I can very easily shop online. And while this might not hurt your company’s overall bottom line, it will hurt the local store as a profit center.

Love,
A Big Fat Pregnant Lady Who Loves Shopping And Is In An Uncomfortable State