How to recognize them: They wear the little spandex outfits, complete with helmets, padding and sunglasses. They travel in groups of 80 and take up the entire road, especially ones with blind turns. Oh, and they’re on bicycles. You know, your main mode of transportation when you’re ten.
Frequently heard saying: “Share the road!” “Watch it, lady! You’re gonna kill somebody!”
Why they bug: They cry and scream about safety, yet they break traffic laws. They rarely ride single file. They never stop at stop signs. Yet, I’m the asshole who nearly runs them over when I pass them. My Prius is nearly silent behind them, too, because I have to go so slow behind them. They don’t hear me. And they ride in places that are just not safe. There are plenty of safe places to go, yet they choose to ride to these places by taking unsafe roots.
Their retort: “Biking is great exercise.” “It’s better for the environment than your hoity toity hybrid car.” “Stopping for a stop sign is going to slow me down and ruin my workout. I don’t need to stop. Just stay out of my way.”
My response: Find a bike path or drive to a place where it’s safer for you to ride, like a bike park. If you’re going to put yourself in a dangerous situation by going somewhere unsafe or disobeying laws that are meant to protect you, I have a hard time feeling sympathy for you.
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