Creep of The Week: People who don't watch television

How to recognize them: Usually carrying a canvas tote bag with a public radio station’s logo, they have a poor fashion sense from never seeing an episode of “What Not To Wear.” They are easily confused by common pop culture references and then act snooty and indignant to cover up their feelings of being left out from not knowing what a Gleek is.

Frequently heard saying: “I was listening to ‘All Things Considered’ on NPR the other day…” “I don’t understand reality television.” “Patrick Swayze died? When did that happen?” “There was an earthquake in Chille?!?!”

Why they bug: They put on airs of superiority yet they tend to be uninformed. Some of history’s most iconic moments happened while the world watched on television - the Kennedy assassinations, Space Shuttle Challenger’s demise, the 9/11 attacks. Television is not all fluff. Sure, there’s a lot of crap out there but there are also documentaries, news channels and informational programming as well. And even if all someone watches is garbage, there’s a certain commonality and hipness that comes along with knowing who got kicked off Survivor or AI (that’s American Idol to you, Mr. Snooty “I don’t watch TV” Snob) the previous night. It’s something that makes you relatable and sociable with others.

Their retort: “I’d much rather expand my mind by reading a book.” “I don’t really care who The Bachelor chose.” “You should go outside.” “You watch too much TV.”

My response: I read books, too. I just don’t feel the need to brag about it. That’s okay. I even draw the line at The Bachelor. The sun sucks! It causes cancer. And the bugs always eat me alive. I know you’re secretly getting TV shows by the season from Netflix.