Bah Humbug

I don't know why, but I just can't get into Christmas this year. I've barely started my shopping. As I write this, I'm procrastinating putting lights and ornaments on the tree that I just finally put up today. I've gone to at least five Christams parties so far (dinner at an arcade/bar/Dave and Busters type of place, a Japanese steak house, dinner at a local bar, a nice luncheon at an inn where I had too many glasses of champaigne and cranberry juice, and a buffet at a comedy club). At each one, I drank and socialized, but I feel so disconnected from everyone and everything lately that I know I'm not feeling the spirit of things like I should be.

I just don't know what's wrong with me lately.

I'd love to sit back and pinpoint this on the fact that my best friend died on Christmas Eve 2001. Darling, I miss you dearly, but I know that just isn't it. Or maybe, I could blame all this on school keeping me busy. That's what I have been doing, but I don't think that's it, either. When I finished and emailed my last midterm, I thought I'd feel a huge weight off my shoulders. But that never came. I still feel burdened and stressed and busy.

Something is just off. It's not that I'm sad or annoyed or anything like that. I'm just removed. My heart isn't into this.

I also didn't ask anyone what they wanted this year. I'm going to try to be creative. So if you're one of the lucky people on my shopping list and you happen to be reading this, please understand my struggle this year to choose a gift and my artisitic need for creativity. And that's all I'm saying right now. You'll understand later.

So Maybe I'm Not Such a Moron Afterall

I learned something new about the Prius this week. If the car isn't at a complete stop and you hit the park button, it goes into neutral. This leads me to believe that I did, in fact, attempt to put the car in park that day it cruised into the gate. It just wasn't completely stopped because I was in a hurry. Then, by getting out and closing the door, I gave it an unfortunate push. Oh well, at least I know now. I got the bumper replaced, but kicked myself after thinking what a dumb move that was because it snowed that day. I should have waited until winter is over, just in case. But I was inconsolable that day, so I guess there was no stopping me.

I GRABBED RICK SPRINGFIELD'S ASS!!!

I was originally going to call this post "Jesus Saved White Trash Like You," but really I can't stop laughing about the weirdness.

I really didn't even want to go to this concert. Stephen Lynch was playing at my alma mater tonight, but we had these tickets first. All week I considered having Paul take my mother in law instead.

So we got there, and I looked around at the crowd. I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. Basically, there were a few variations of the same people:

Your Aunt Janice - Older, takes the Atlantic City bus to play the slots every Tuesday, smokes like a fiend, has six cats and loves to watch "her stories" as she calls them.

Your Cousin Jill - Chubby girl in her 30's, never married and painfully single, but likes to dress up and go out a lot, usually with her friend Kate from high school.

Kim the medical assistant from your doctor's office - Skinny, bleach blonde with roots showing badly, wears her pants just a little too high

and occassionally:

Your Uncle Bob - grudgingly tagging along, bought Aunt Janice the tickets for their anniversary, but secretly hoped she'd take her girlfriend who lives across the street instead.

But I digress...

Everyone stood up before he came on stage. It was dark and every time someone walked on stage, the crowd went crazy. Finally the lights came on and he started to play. I started to laugh my ass off. I mean, everyone was totally freaking out and I felt really really out of place, but thought it was so funny.

My mind eventually wondered. I think I was thinking about that movie Empire Records where the aging rock star does a meet and greet at the record store and Liv Tyler tries to seduce him. I snapped out of it when I realized that Paul was looking for something on the floor. Rick threw a guitar pick right at my foot. I picked it up and gave it to Paul. It had the stages of grief written on one side and then the other side just said "Denial." That in itself is pretty funny.

He asked how many people have visted his website. Paul sheepishly raised his hand. I shook my head in disgust.

Then something changed. He started playing covers. The first one he played was one of my all time favorite songs - The Church's "Under the Milky Way." People sat down, obviously not into it, but I stood and perked up a bit. I think Rick and I were the only people in the room who knew the song, and that was even a stretch because he butchered it a little, skipping some parts. I said to Paul, "Oh my fucking God! I can't believe he's playing this!" And Paul told me to watch my mouth. Um, I'm at a concert. Fuck off. He also played "Life in a Northern Town."

Anyway, then he went out into the audience. Actually, this was the second time he came out into the audience, but the first time was just to sing "Don't Talk To Strangers" and had various people in the audience sing with him. This time, he started singing a song called "Jesus Saved White Trash Like You." This made me laugh. Then he stood on something off to the side, borrowed someone's cell phone and called someone in their address book. He got their voicemail and said, "Hi? Amanda? This is Rick Springfield! We're all here at the concert and the crowd would like to say hello to you. On the count of three say 'Hi Amanda! What's up, girl?'" Funny. Next, he told all the people in the audience to get out their cell phones and wave them around because that was the new cigarette lighter. Everyone was so fascinated. They probably don't get out much. Prior to the show, I heard the lady behind me listing the concerts she had been to. They included Chicago, Genesis and Kristopher Kross.

Then, THEN, he started making his way down the row in front of us. He was walking on the chairs so pretty much dead in my face was his butt. The girl next to me rushed up and grabbed his butt, then put her hands on his back and was practically holding him up. He said, "I think this is a good time to play a song called 'Human Touch.'" Well, who am I to argue?!?! So I grabbed myself a piece of that. Then he came back to our row and started walking on our chairs. He stopped right on our seats and played most of the song. Paul patted him on the back and I rubbed my hand up the back of his thigh. He kind of squirrmed a little. I think he liked it.

The rest of the night is a bit of a blur. I think we called everyone in Paul's cell phone on the way home. I couldn't stop laughing.

I GRABBED RICK SPRINGFIELD'S BUTT!!!

I'm Such A Moron

So this morning, I went into work. The store was closed, but the office staff came in. I told my coworkers that I would be there at exactly 7 am. I goofed and forgot my lunch. I had to run back home, and got there slightly after everyone else. As a result, I had to open the gates myself. I flung the first one open and worried that the gate was going to fly back and hit my car. So I quickly drove through and jumped out of the car to close the gate.

Whoops! I forgot to do one tiny thing - put the car in park!

See, my car has this button that you push to put it in park. I forgot to push it. As I turned around after closing the gate, I saw it rolling towards the next gate. I started running after it. "NO NOOOOOO!" I almost caught up to it. Had I been wearing different shoes, I would have caught it. But no such luck and Yolanda, my little black Prius ran right into the gate making a crushing noise (or was that my heart?). Damn.

Fortunately, it was only the bumper that was damaged. I'll have to take it in in mid December for a new one. Merry Fucking Christmas to me!

Okay. Please stop laughing now.

I Don't Have To Sell My Soul...He's Already In Me

I hate when I get a song stuck in my head that I'm not supposed to like. Anyone remember that song Kayleigh? "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to break your heart." That one. All fucking day today! I went through my vast collection of 80's crap hoping that it was on one of my compilations. No dice. Now I have to put all these CDs away. What a mess! But look! I found the Stone Roses! I haven't listened to this in years!

Anyway, if by some strange stroke of cosmic wierdness, someone reading this happens to have Kayleigh in their mp3 collection or what not and wouldn't mind passing it along to me, I'll be your best friend. And I promise not to reveal this deep dark secret to anyone or mock you mercilessly for it.

Love you all madly...

I Give You All You Need to Know - NIN at the Wack Off Arena 11/6/05

Eh.

Maybe it was because I was sick. Maybe it was because I knew the next day was going to be stressful and I wouldn't be getting much sleep. Maybe it was because I loathed the opening acts. I dunno.

First off, I have no clue who the first act was. It was two guys who seemed to have their music all pre-recorded and loud. And they mumbled through their name "We're....blah blah blah blah blah 1979 from Toronto!" Umm...okay...I have a headache. Next came Queens of the Stone Age. Now I know a lot of people really like them, but for the life of me, I just can't get into them. They played for way too long and the lead singer was an arrogant jerk. Right before they played the last song, they said, "We're Queens of the Stone Age" and apparently, some guy up front yelled, "And you suck!" This lead the lead singer into a five minute diatribe about fucking the guy's mother. Yeah, mother jokes are so cool. Get over it, dickslap.

In between acts, we were treated to the sound of white trash discussing President Bush's upcoming trip to the area and how ridiculous it is to buy a $6 beer.

Then NIN came on. They had this big curtain around them and all you saw were shadows at first. Very cool. Trent Reznor is so hot. I don't even care that he has a small penis. I'd fuck him anyway (sorry, Paul). And his voice! Then they raised the curtain during March of the Pigs and it got stuck. When my next husband sang "But doesn't it make you feel better?" he then said, "You know what would make me feel better? Getting the guy whose job it is to raise the curtain and punching him in the fucking face." Okay. I guess we have some rage issues. They played more stuff..."Wish," "Closer," etc. etc. Then they put the curtain back down and showed some creepy graphic kind of stuff like they usually do. I still don't get why all you freaks insist on dropping acid at these shows. I'd end up ripping my brain out of my head. But it was cool. They later played "Hurt" and "Only." Finally they finished with "Head Like a Hole" and even the dorky security guy was rocking out. The only thing that bothered me about the whole set (except, of course, for my sinuses) was that they didn't play "Heresy," which is my favorite.

I slept most of the way back home. Then I took off for Newark to fly out of my trip. I felt really really young telling all the people at work what I did the night before, especially when they kept saying, "I can't believe you were at the nine inch heels concert last night!"

Last post for a while because I'm gettin' out of Dodge

These last few days and the days ahead are hell and I'll be glad when it's all over.

I just got back from judging a speech tournement all weekend. Of course the fun started Thursday night when Taco came in from NY. We ate gas station nachos for dinner and then went out drinking at the place that we used to go to on weekends when we were in college. On the way there, Taco gave me one bottle cap and we made jokes about having some cross words for the NY Times (Get it? Ha!) It was kind of dead. Some guy bought all of the jello shots (about 20 of them) and we were pissed because that was one of the things we were looking forward to. The bartender shamed the guy into giving us one each. At the end of the night, she started putting really bad music on to get us to leave sooner. We heard Milli Vanilli's "Blame It on the Rain" and Faster Pussycat's "House of Pain" and Firehouse's "Love of a Lifetime." We stayed at my dad's house and then started out for Bloomsburg the next day.

We were the first to arrive, except for these debate kids who ended up winning the tournement. I got stuck talking about debate, which I know very little of. But I try to bullshit my way about it because, well, I'm a judge and they have to kiss up to me a little. Then Paul and Griff showed up and we went to Naps for cheeseburger subs. Naps is famous for at one time employing Jimmi Simpson and being the place near campus that will deliver cigarettes when it's too cold to walk to the Unimart.

We went back, others got there, we judged. I hate when the really good stuff goes over time because I can't give them first place. What I hate even more than that is when the really bad stuff goes overtime. Ha! Forensics joke. It was a small tournement, so we had some downtime. A bunch of us went down to Russell's for a couple of Bob's Lemonades to make the rounds go better. Anyway, then we went to Denny's and the service was incredibly slow, but our waitress was very nice. I started to feel like shit because I have a bad cold. Dani ran home to get me some Cold Ease, but couldn't find it, so she gave me a Hershey's Kiss instead.

We went to the dance at the tournement hotel. I brought my hats from Holland. Some kids took them and danced with them. The one guy left with them and I sent Dani to go after him. He came back all scared and apologetic. Despite my cold, I had two beers and only seemed to feel ok if I was dancing. Griff dragged me into the bathroom at another point. I thought something was wrong. Turns out she wanted to point out that the tampon dispenser meets ADA requirements, but does not have Braille, is set very high up and doesn't have any kind of extra special knobs or anything. I thought it was funny, but maybe you had to be there. I decided that ADA in this case must stand for the American Dispenser Association.

And now for a commentary on the night's music:

WHAT. THE. FUCK?!?!? Okay let me explain. Maybe I'm a little sheltered in my world of classic/alternative/jam band music. There seemed to be this one part where the dj said, "Oh, you think that's bad? Wait until you hear this!" First there was this cutsie song that went "I wanna have sex on the beach..." really catchy, but annoying as hell. In fact, I'm pretty sure now that I've been thinking about it, it will be stuck in my head all day. That wouldn't be awful, but my father is visiting. Then after that, there was this whoriffic song that went "My face, my back, lick my pussy and my crack." Oooohhhhh kaaaaaay. THEN the dj played a song that was really techno trippy and all the guy in the song said was "Here comes the perculator...here comes the perculator." Paul looked at me at the point and said, "I don't even want to know what the perculator is." Chris started jonesing for coke and e. The dj was so awful that Griffy and I said that we weren't going to leave until he was done because we didn't want him to get off that easy by being allowed to leave early. We were then treated to "Do You Think I'm Sexy" and I sent Griff up to request "Emotional Rescue" just to make the suckfest complete. When she requested it, all he said was "No" and that was the end of the night.

Yesterday I judged persuasion and somehow got out of judging persuasion finals to get duo instead. It took some pleading. I also had to kick Ryan to get him to shut up.

We had Chinese for dinner, but I wasn't feeling good enough to really enjoy it. I ended up being the first to leave, which never happens.

I picked my dad up at about 11 pm because I'm taking him to the airport today. Then we have to turn around and drive all the way to Wilkes Barre to see NIN. My sister offered to take my dad to the airport, but for some reason he said no. I should have pushed the issue because I still have to pack for my business trip and right now I'm printing out a bunch of stuff for school that I'll have to look at while I'm gone (that's the only reason why I have time to even write this). Plus, I feel like shit.

So hopefully, by the time I get back, I'll still remember enough about tonight's show to write a recap. Until next time, kids...

An Open Letter to My New Nephew

Dear Michael,

Welcome to this world. As part of the family, I feel there are a few things you need to know.

1. Your mother is so happy that you are here. She loves you and your sister and truly values family like no one else that I know.

But you should be forewarned. She has never had an unexpressed thought in her life. I'm so looking forward to when you and your sister are teenagers and start talking to her the way she talks to everyone else. I'm going to love that.

2. Your sister is adorable. She's very excited to get to know you. My heart melted tonight when she asked your mom if she could hold you and she did. Too bad I forgot the camera.

But the girl has a little bit of the devil in her. Be careful. She's not as cute as she looks.

3. Gramps is a cool guy and I hope you get to know him. He always wanted a little boy like you and so did your grandma before she passed away (side note - I can't believe he actually told me "Your mom was so depressed after she had you" and then quickly added "because you were a girl."). And I hope you learn to hunt because someday you will inherit a fairly substantial gun collection.

4. Aunt Karen is very smart. She's a little wacky sometimes, but listen to her because she will teach you lots of stuff. That's how I got to be so smart.

5. Your Aunt Tracy is a hippy. And Uncle Shawn? Yeah, he's a little scary, but don't worry. Those funny little cigarettes they smoke are strawberry cigarettes.

6. Aunt Chrissy is the coolest person you will ever meet. She'll buy you beer when you're in high school and she'll be nice to your girlfriends...or boyfriends, whatever the case may be. She's especially happy that you're here because you're taking some pressure off of her to get you some cousins. That's just way too much for her little head to handle right now. And the thought of giving up drinking for nine months makes her break out in hives.

7. As for the rest of your life, always find balance between your heart and mind in everything you do. Be a nice guy. The person who appreciates that will be well worth the ones who don't. Don't hit girls. Don't hurt animals. Don't burn things. Read lots of books. Try new things. Don't be afraid to get out into the world and live. Stand on your own two feet, but don't be afraid to turn to those you love when you need them.

8. We all love you very very much.

Love,

Your Aunt Chrissy

(the coolest person you'll ever meet)

Painted Like the Wings of Butterflies - Queen + Paul Rodgers = Me Wanting More Queen

The show must go on...

When Paul and I were in Holland, we were flipping through the late night porn at the hotel and discovered a Queen special. At that point, Queen was already touring Europe with Paul Rodgers. There were some interviews and concert clips. Overall, we thought it sounded pretty cool and that we'd like to see it.

When they finally hit America, we learned that it would only be two shows. One west coast in Hollywood and one in nearby Jersey. Quelle chance!

Overall, the show was poorly run by the fine folks at the Continental Airlines Arena. They didn't have enough security at the door and it was a bit chaotic getting in. It was a sold out show and very crowded. Our seats were great, though, similar to what we had for Weezer/Foo Fighters, directly across from the stage, a few rows up.

Before the show, they played a really obscure dancey Queen song from the 80's, loudly, as though this was to be an indication of the start of the show. However, they didn't bother to turn off the lights! "What's this song called?" I asked Paul, the avid Queen fan. "It's called 'Turn the fucking lights out!'" So then they did. Ane even more bizarrely, the lights started moving around and through the speakers the audience was treated to sounds of....

Eminem. Fucking Eminem. "Lose Yourself." You know, that gay song from "8 Mile?" I looked around and noticed I wasn't the only person completely confused by this.

Next thing I knew it was over (thank God). And they started out with "Tie Your Mother Down," which was Paul's pick for first song (he snooped, I'm sure). There were big screens on each side and for some reason, the camera guy wanted to give Brian May a colonoscopy. The crowd was treated to the Brian May Ass Cam, just about all night.

Speaking of Brian May, he did his own set. He played "39" and "Love of My Life" (*puking*). Later in the show, he played "Friends Will Be Friends" and stood on this platform behind the drum set in front of a big screen. On the screen, they projected stars. It sounds kind of cheesey, but it looked cool on the big screens. It looked like he really was playing in outer space. Roger Taylor played "I'm in Love With My Car" and sang most of "Radio Ga Ga." He also played some song about Nelson Mandela and his crusade against AIDS. Way to bring us all down, there buddy.

The dickslap sitting next to me chose these parts of the show to get up and go to the bathroom or get more beer. I swear he got up six times, no exaggeration. The third to last time he told us that it would be the last time. When he got up again, he told us that that would be the last time and I, being the smartass that I am, pointed out that he said that last time. And of course, he got up yet another time after that. Each time he got up, he touched my arm. I wanted to kick him in the nuts.

The only thing more annoying than that was that there were way too many Paul Rodgers songs. I'm probably in the minority for not liking this, though. People really seemed to like them. I don't. I'm just not a huge fan of Bad Company or any of the other 50 bands this guy was in. After they played the yucky "Feel Like Makin' Love" *puking again*, Paul leaned over and said, "I really hate Paul Rodgers." And after "Alright Now," I leaned over and said the same thing.

One of the cooler moments of the show had to be Bohemian Rhapsody. It started out with Freddy on the big screen and his vocals, but the band played through it. Everyone seemed to like it. Brian May came out wearing the shirt that Freddie wore on the video tape of his performance. It may have been the one from Live Aid, but I'm not 100 ure. The other thing that I liked about the show was that they started the encore with "The Show Must Go On." I always liked that song.

So yeah, I guess I'm glad I got to see this. I went into it to see the band knowing that it wouldn't be quite the same. Too many Paul Rodgers songs might keep it from being one of my top 5 favorite concerts ever. But hey, there is a lot of competition. I guess I would have just preferred more Queen songs. There were so many that I love that they didn't play.

I'm Just Not Cut Out To Be A Geek

My CIS homework is painful. I have no motivation to write this paper and I'm having a really hard time concentrating. There's just so much going on in my tiny little brain that I can't fit anything else in there right now. Thank God all I'm doing is just spitting out useless dribble. And I want to actually cut my fingers off every time I type something like "the interface is user friendly." Buh? What does that even mean? Where does this shit come from?

I was told this paper should take 10-12 hours to write. Keep in mind that I wrote my entire honors thesis (about 20 or so pages) in a day. I did an entire semester's work (researched to writing) within three days. I wrote it a week after it was due (I just upped and disappeared with the debate team to Illinois and didn't bother telling anyone like my advisor or the head of the honors program...oops! Slipped my mind!) and still managed to get a B+ (the lowest grade I've ever received on a college paper).

But this? No...this is mind numbing and soul sucking. I actually got up early today to work on this and will be working on it all day until I get ready to leave for the Queen concert in Jersey tonight.

I'm going to crack.

A Fool for the Last Living Rock King - Hot Hot Heat, Weezer and the Foo Fighters - 10/13/05

For the last month or so, I've had this weird obsession with the Veruca Salt song "Shutterbug." I've played it almost every day at least once. I'm digging it because of the lyrics and the bass line.

What does this have to do with last night's concert you might ask? Well, it's rumored that the song is about a love triangle between singer Louise Post, Dave Grohl and Winona Ryder (because Winona Ryder really needs to bang more hot rock stars, right?). In the song, Post allegedly refers to Dave Grohl as the last living rock king. This sparked some debate between me and Paul. I've been joking and cynically saying that about Dave ever since I learned about the song's meaning, not totally believing it. But last night, he won me over.

Let's start at the very beginning...

Hot Hot Heat opened and we got there late. We only got to see the last three songs, none of which were "Bandages." I'd love to say that this was the biggest disappointment of my day, but in the big picture it was no big deal. I'm sure I'll get to see them again another time. What I did see was great. I like Hot Hot Heat in that weird kind of way. Our seats were great. We were exactly center to the stage on the other side of the floor, tenth row.

So after that we walked around the concourse. Lots of nerdy geeky types were hanging around. These people have no idea how to walk through a crowd. I had enough and we went back to our seats. The stage had changed by this time and was set for Weezer.

They came out and played a lot of stuff that I knew and liked. Rivers came out to a little platrom right in front of us and sang "Island In the Sun" accoustic. Then they pulled some guy up on stage to play the acoustic part of "The Sweater Song" while Rivers made his way back to the stage. The guy was okay, but he was a little slow. At another point in the show, Rivers said that his father was in the audience and seeing the band play live for the first time ever. They broke into "Say It Ain't So" and I think I blew out my vocal chords. That was the song that got me to like them. I really hadn't liked anything of theirs until that song came out. They covered "Big Me" and Blur's "Song 2." At another point in the show, the stage changed a little and showed these lights that looked like stars. I was a little bummed that they didn't play "The Good Life" but again, not the most disappointing thing about my day. Overall, I'd say not a bad show. Paul said that he wouldn't want to follow that act, but I had every ounce of faith in "the last living rock king."

In between sets, we sat around and watched these people about two rows ahead of us that were stoned on some weak shit (I don't even smoke and I could tell) and kept high fiving excessively. They kept buying these big tubs of popcorn. One chick got a little crazy and tried to throw some at some people several rows back and hit me. I didn't get mad. Afterall, we all get our turn to be the wasted asshole. I'm sure my turn is coming soon.

Then the stage was set. There were these chopped up looking screens, more fiber optic lights (c'est trendy) and a background that just looked like a bunch of speakers. Dave screamed through the first song. I don't know what it was, but I fell in love. The energy was amazing. Then they broke into more familiar stuff and played just about all the songs that you would know. I also finally got one right and predicted that "Monkey Wrench" would be the last song of their encore which also featured CCR's "Born on the Bayou."

Dave also talked to the audience a lot, sometimes referring to us as "idiots." I'll forgive him. He played a song for the people in the nosebleed section and said, "I might seem far away right now, but tonight I'll be in your dreams giving you a big hickey on the side of your neck. Free hickeys for the nosebleed section!" He also had some commentary on the recent issues regarding Philly losing its only alternative music station, which was really cool. He stage dived and crowd surfed to an exit and ran to the platform where Rivers stood during their set and did the dueling guitar thing. There he was, only 10 rows away. *panting* He mentioned that the secret to sreaming like a rock star is a Coors Light and some Crown Royal and that he felt like the guy who sits around at the party, drinking beer and talking too much when really he should just turn up the music. For the last song of the regular set, he played "Everlong" for his wife, starting out slow and soft and then the band kicked in at the end. They put a spotlight on her and a spotlight on him. It was sweet. He also played a song for his mother during the encore and said, "If it wasn't for Mamma Jean, none of us would be here tonight." I love him!

We got out of there and came home relatively late. No bootleg t-shirt guys in the parking lot, unfortunately. I had to get up early today to travel to a different office, leaving me pretty drained today.

But it was all so worth it. The distraction was much needed.

This Deserves Its Own Post

More "house cleaning."

I had a fairly decent road trip to Chicago last weekend. Many of our other road trips have been more eventful, but I've been fucking tired from all the stress.

Anyway, we started driving after work on Friday, stopped somewhere in Ohio and rolled into Chicago Saturday afternoon. We stayed with the other Paul and his roommate Bill. At first we sat around and watched My Super Sweet 16. We all decided that Paul and Bill should have their own MTV show and special Super Sweet 30 episode where they discuss their Simpsons action figures. These guys are so funny.

We then went to the movies to see the Wallace and Gromit movie. It was cute and had some adult humor mixed in. We sat behind the most annoying people in Illinois, but enjoyed it all anyway. Then we grabbed pizza at Barnaby's. It was fun.

Then we were off to see Paul's play. If you happen to be in or near the Chicago area, please check it out. My friend Paul plays Bobby the retarded zombie and he's really funny. Seriously people, go see it. After the show, Paul and I waited for the other Paul at a bar down the street then went back and passed out at Paul's. I was so tired.

The next day we hung around for a little while. Paul made me some cool CDs - some Rollins, some Strongbad stuff and this other CD with some silly stuff. He gave us a t-shirt for the play. He's so nice! We went to the diner down the street from his house and then we went on our way.

We made it back all in the same day. I mostly slept on the way home while Paul listened to football. It was nice to get away for a little while.

I Want to Shout, But I Can Hardly Speak - Stones and Beck at Hershey 10/1/05

Go ahead. Just try to convince me that I spent way too much money on my tickets for last night's show. I won't tell you what I paid, but let's just say that they were good seats, not the best, but about 27 rows from the stage and over to the right. For the last few weeks, some of you have taken your jabs at me for this. But you know what? I had a really good fucking time last night. And you can't put a price on that. I've been listening to the Stones since I was practically still in diapers and I love them like a fat kid loves cake.

We were smart this time. Usually, coming out of a show, I'm really thristy. We brought a cooler this time and stopped at Sheets for Pomegranate Green Tea (I need the antioxidents to prevent the lines under my eyes). Mmmm...yummy. Then it was off to Red Robin for lunch/left overs for after the show and some browsing at the Hershey outlets. I finally found a copy of Dick's Picks Volume 20, so that was kinda cool.

We made our way into the stadium. The stage was freakin' huge! It had levels for seating and fiberoptic beaded curtains similar to what U2 had. I bought a shirt and then we made our way to the seats. We just kept getting closer and closer to the stage. I knew this was going to be good and silently hoped that it wouldn't be another Oasis incident. I kinda figured it wouldn't be since there were actual chairs and a lot of security keeping people out who did not belong there.

We were just taking everything in, people watching and digging the pregame music when suddenly the unmistakenable guitar chords for Beck's "Loser" brought me out of my daze. At first I was thinking, "Oh yeah, this song! When I was a senior in high school, I used to cruise around coal region towns listening to it." And then I realized that Beck was actually on stage performing. We could see fairly well, but for some assistance, there was also a big screen in front of us. I decided then and there that Beck is the coolest person alive. I'm not usually one for little skinny blond guys, but he was actually hot. He also had "his friend Brian" jumping around the stage dressed in a dress shirt and tie. Weird. Very weird. He played a bunch of his songs and then his band sat down at this table on stage and started eating dinner. "We were going to invite the Stones for dinner tonight," he said. "But we figured they had other things to do." Then he broke into "No Expectations" solo. It was great. At the end of the song, the band started banging on glasses of water on the table and they broke into "Clap Hands." When it was all over, I was sorry to see him go.

So, then there was intermission. I considered fighting the crowds to go to the bathroom, but thought better of it. The Stones came out at about 8:45 and played for about two hours. I saw Keith first and couldn't believe how great the view was. It was such a thrill.

Here is their setlist:

Start Me Up, It's Only Rock & Roll, Shes So Cold, Tumblin Dice, Rough Justice, Back Of My Hand, Midnight Rambler, All Down The Line, Night Time Is The Right Time, The Worst, Infamy, Miss You, Oh No, Get Off My Cloud, Honkey Tonk Woman, Sympathy, Paint It Black, Brown Sugar, Jumping Jack Flash, You Can't Always Get What You Want, Satisfaction

I'm a little disappointed because at the show at Pittsburgh, they played "Rocks Off" and since Pearl Jam opened, Eddie
Vedder came out and sang "Wild Horses" with them. But overall, it wasn't so bad. I got to hear "She's So Cold" which made me happy, even though I take a lot of ragging for liking that song. They played a lot of new stuff, which I guess is okay. The new album isn't awful, I guess.

Some other highlights:

~During "Miss You" part of the stage turned into a boat and took them down to the second stage in the middle of the crowd via the catwalk down the middle. There were also catwalks down each side of the stage and when Mick or Keith walked on the one on our side, they were so close! It was really cool.

~During "Honkey Tonk Woman," they were still on the second stage and the roadies inflated this gigantic flowered tongue and lips on the main stage for when they got back. That was kinda cool.

~At another point in the show, Mick Jagger actually said, "I hear we have people from Mechanicsburg in the audience."

~They paid tribute to Ray Charles with "The Night Time is the Right Time" and their gorgeous back up bimbo came out and sang. She was great. But she was teetering around on these necker shoes. I thought she was going to tip over.

~The setlist was posted around Charlie's drums and when they showed him on the big screen, you could almost read it. We knew that the last two songs were going to be "You Can't Always Get What You Want" and "Satisfaction."

I'm sure there are a lot of other things I'm forgetting. But I assure you it was fantastic. I didn't even mind sitting in the parking lot for an hour before we ever even got on the road to go home.

Anyway, back to reality today. I better get moving on my homework and laundry.

Going Postal

I just want to say that the guy who works the counter at my local post office is a tool. Everytime I'm in there, he's bitching about something. Today it was that one of the mail carriers left something outside last night. Dude, it's so unprofessional to do that in front of me. Really.

Every fucking time I have to send a certified letter, he bitches because the name of my company in the return address corner stretches way out to the middle of the envelope and he has a hard time putting the certified sticker on. Other postal workers have had the same complaint. So typically, I just take the sticker and letter and let them put it on to their own statisfaction. Today I had four letters. You would have thought it was a fucking bag of them.

He was like, "Are you going to help me with these?"

And I felt like saying, "No. You are a public servent. I pay your salary with my taxes. Put the fucking stickers on yourself. I don't ask you to make my collection calls, you fucking lazy asshole"

But I was nice and just got my dig in by saying, "Well, everytime I put them on myself someone complains. I just figured I'd let you do it the way you want." Then he went on to show me where to put it on. Fine. Except he didn't show me that the one part is supposed to fold over the edge of the envelope and he started bitching when I did it wrong. So I said, "Yeah, see, that's why I figured it would be better if you did it."

Jerk.

My Fair Lady

The state's biggest fair is this week. It's in the town where Paul and I went to college. I don't know why, but I always feel obligated to go every year. I have lots of weird stories about going to the fair, some years better than others (Ha! Karen, remember when you jumped out of my car in McAdoo on the way up?).

So yesterday Paul and I took our inlaws to the fair. We split up when we got there. It was ok, I guess. We ate and then we saw some big fat cows. Then we went to look at the animals (Ha! That old gag! Ha ha *cough* yeah). We played the candy wheel then saw the usual stuff that's there every year and made our way to the exhibits, typical quilts and stuff, except for this one.

There was a display made by the Danville Middle School called "Catch the Energy. Release the Potential." I loved this! On the display were a bunch of paper fish...some just taped to the fake ocean, others hanging from mobiles. They all had things written on them. "Be kind to others" "Listen" "Help each other" "Donate." Then, there was a little bucket hanging from the gate around the display. It was full of paper fish. It had a note on it that said to take one if you wanted to catch the energy and then to put it back for others if you want to release the potential. Naturally, I picked a fish. It said, "Play. Hang out with friends. Enjoy life." I kept it thinking I'll release the potential by following through with it. Paul picked one and it said, "Choose your attittude. Don't throw a fit when you don't get your own way." He rolled his eyes, put it back and said, "That one was supposed to be yours." Jerk.

So then we met up with the inlaws and went home. I decided to drive home through Tamaqua. My father inlaw always asks about the Last Chance because one of his old co-workers owns it (for those of you who aren't from the area, the Last Chance is a bar in town conveniently located across the street from the high school). I told him I'd drive by it so he could see it. Then he offered to buy us a beer if we went in. Weeeelll, who am I to turn down a beer, right? But just one little draft. I was driving. So we went in, drank and he talked to his buddy and then we left. My mother in law had a beer, too. I don't believe I've ever seen her drink a beer before. I can honestly say that was the first time I was ever in there as an adult. Thank God hardly anyone was in there because I looked like such a grit.

Today I took my mother in law to the mall to find a dress for a wedding that we're going to next month. Then I bought her lunch at Panera. I'm such a good daughter in law. I tried to find a dress, too, but the only one I liked didn't look right on me. I'm really picky I guess. Then I came home and took a much needed nap. Now I'll be able to stay up later tonight! But I should probably do some homework. Bleh. Better get going...

I'm Outraged Over the Outrage

So the polls are coming out that an astounding majority of America is outraged over the way the president has handled the crisis in the Gulf of Mexico. A little too late now to realize, don't ya think?

Y'know what, America? We tried to warn you. I specifically remember having conversations with many of you regarding my absolute disdain for Bush and how anyone could possibly like him at all. "I just like him. That's all." "He's likable." "He's like an everyday person."

Yeah, he sure looks like one now, doesn't he?

Louisianna, Mississippi, Alabama, you voted this fucker in. Way to go! Look how you're making out. I know I'm being harsh, but maybe if you, oh I don't know, got your Baptist asses away from your 10 hour services and read a book called Origin of the Species by this guy named Charles Darwin you'd see how his words relate to all this. You were dumb and easily mislead. You didn't check your facts and do your homework. Now you fight to hang on while the strong and (although I hate to admit it) clever survive.

Some people say that this whole thing is God's way of punishing the city of New Orleans for its debauchery. I disagree. This is pure Darwinism to me. And I realize that there are excpetions to this and not everyone down there voted for Bush. For those people, I feel truly bad.

With all this said, I have already given to the Red Cross and I will continue to give as I can. I'm saddened to see a city that I enjoyed so much with its fun, food and music completely destroyed. My heart aches to go see the Spotted Cat one more time, have a hurricane from Bourbon St. Liquors and eat some aligator off of a stick at the French Market. I hope someday it's all restored.

And I hope we all learn from this.

He Fought the Law and the Paul Won

Thursday we fought the speeding ticket that we got on the way home from the Pixies concert (see "Talking Sweet About Nothing" blog entry). Paul got off on the technicality that the date was wrong on the ticket. I thought I would help the case, seeing how Paul was giving me a lecture about speeding on the road we were on, but it turns out I hurt his case. The judge said, "I know when I'm in the car having a conversation with my wife, I don't always watch how fast or slow I'm going." He also said that Paul should be thankful that the cop gave him a break by reducing the speed an not giving points. Paul said he understood and would not be fighting it if he didn't truly believe that he was speeding. The judge said that if the date on the ticket had been right, he would have lost. Paul's pissed about that. He really wanted to win on his own terms.

So then we came home, I made the pork cutlets that I was supposed to make Monday and drank a whole bottle of Riesling myself. I guess the food turned out okay. Tommy had two cutlets. But then again, that guy must be starving because we never feed him. (For those of you who don't know, Paul's brother Tommy left his wife and has been staying with us for the last month. It's much better than having a kid. My dishwasher is fixed. He takes the garbage out and he stays up late and drinks with me on the weekends).

School started this week. The first class is in conflict management and looks interesting. The other one, well, eh. There's a group presentation. I hate working in groups. I chose to work with a group of three men, basically based on where they live. But they seem okay, I guess. One of them is originally from Hazleton. The paper is not a group project, which makes me happy. I've had too many disasterous group papers from people who are too comma happy or form these insanely complex sentences that are impossible to follow. I like to write (despite my inability to spell), but I hate having to deal with the bullshit of the incompetent.

Went to the Allentown fair last night and got sick. I don't know what is wrong with me lately, but this has been happening quite a bit. My appetite is dwindling, too.

Hard Luck Woman

Why is it that when I plan something nice, it always goes horrifically wrong? Yet, when I scheme something that's on the naughty girl side, I pull it off without a glitch?

For the past week, I came up with this plan that I was going to cook these pork tenderloin things for Paul for his birthday. Those of you who know me well know that I can barely make toast and powdered iced tea mix. So this was a really big deal and a really big surprise for me to pull off. It was all I thought about all day.

I ordered a coffee flavored ice cream cake from Coldstone Creamery for him last week. Of course, my dad had a cake for him yesterday and his parents did too. So we already had a lot of leftover cake, but thankfully no one got him an ice cream cake and I know how much he loves a good one. I still needed a few things from the store to make the meal and there is a grocery store in the same shopping complex as Coldstone. I figured I'd grab a few things, pick up the cake and be home by 6 pm, right?

Wrong.

Well, I made it to the grocery store. Looked everywhere for breadcrumbs and then finally found them...BY THE BREAD! Go figure! I got back into the car to go to Coldstone which is in another building of the shopping complex across the road. But as I was driving, I noticed people staring at me more than usual. And my little electric car that is usually silent when going under 25 mph was actually making noise. I pulled into Coldstone and discovered my tire was completely flat. Well, ok, maybe just flat on the bottom. But still. I wasn't going anywhere.

What to do? AAA or Toyota Roadside? I figured I'd have to use Toyota, right? So I call, and the guy asks me if I'm in a safe place and I said yes. Then he asked where I was and I told him the name of the shopping complex. Then he gets all indignant and is like, "Ma'am, I'm in Arizona. I don't know what you're talking about." Thanks, asshole. This shopping complex is right on the border of two towns and I wasn't exactly sure which I was in, but the guy finally figured it out and remorsefully joked with me about going into Coldstone and getting some strawberry shortcake ice cream. I called Paul and left a message for him to call me back on my cell. I was going to have to ruin his surprise because I learned that it would take 45 minutes for someone to come help me. I'm pretty sure I know how to change a tire, but goddamn it, I pay for these services, I should use them. And I was still in my work clothes.

Then I tried calling Tommy at the house to let him know that he should probably eat dinner, but I think he's afraid to answer the phone here. And I didn't have his cell. So then, I did what every princess does when she's in a jam.

I called my daddy and cried.

He told me that it was okay. That I had a good heart for even thinking about doing what I was doing for Paul and that he'd understand. And he was right. But it still had me upset.

But nothing cures tears like ice cream. So I ran into Coldstone and told them that I hadn't forgotten the cake and explained the situation. Then I had some Irish Cream icecream with Oreo pieces. I felt a little better.

So then Paul called me back and I had to tell him. More crying. Paul left work and said he'd come sit with me while I waited. He called Tommy and told him to eat. As I was waiting, this lady parked next to me in a big SUV and had this obnoxious little tie dyed clad child who kept saying, "MOM! MOOOM! That car has a flat tire! That tire's flat! Is that bad?" And she was like, "Yes, that's very bad."

I've never actually wanted to kick a child in the nuts before.

So Paul got there and I climed into the Protege and waited. Then I get a call from a chick (!) saying that she was trying to find me "They said you were at some creamery??!?! I'm at Turkey Hill. I'll turn around and come back." I'm thinking "Great! Some diesel dyke is coming to help the little princess with the flat tire at the mall." I felt so dumb. Then the girl showed up...all 90 pounds of her, in butterfly fling flongs with nicely pedicured toes. That's about when Paul joined me in feeling dumb. Turns out I ran over a nail. It must have happened at work. Four years I've been at that place and I never ran over a nail. Why today when I had such great intentions?

We ended up getting sandwiches at Panera and I picked up the cake. When I got back to my car, I started it up. I noticed one of my doors was open, so I got out of the car to figure out which one. But I forgot to put it in park (see, in the Prius, "park" isn't an option on the gear shift. There's this button that you press and I just forgot.) Of course I didn't notice all the warning lights that went on when I opened the door. I was too far gone until I felt the car slowing going forward while I was now out of it. I jumped back in and put it in park. I'm sure the children nearby learned a few new words.

Luckily, I made it home. Of course, when I got home I discovered that the cake wouldn't fit in the freezer!!! Grrrrr!

Paul has to drive the car tomorrow to get my new tire since I have to go to Philly and have school. He's afraid to drive it. This should be interesting.

It's not like I wasn't stressed enough with school starting tomorrow...geez!

Too Many Margaritas

So last night Brenda had a party and I finally got to see this house that she has been working on since I bought mine. Gorgeous! Just fucking gorgeous! I would never be able to do what she did. I didn't see any before pictures, but from what everyone said, it needed work. You'd never know it from what I saw last night. That girl just constantly amazes me.

I drank all these margaritas and watched everyone play cards. My friends are so funny when I'm drunk. Danni, the sober mormon was cursing up a storm. Paul kept saying, "That word isn't in the Book of Mormon." Then Griff was talking to this girl and Griff, being Griff, used sign language. The girl's boyfriend looked at Griff and said, "Did you just use sign language?" And Griff said yes. And the guy said, "You know she's not deaf, right?" I love hanging out with people outside our circle sometimes. And of course Neil got drunk and we baited him all night for the stinky kid on the bus story. This time it was embellished with a product endorsment for Irish Spring soap.

There was this guy there who was such an asshole. After discussing my Prius for a long time he started telling me how he could put my car inside his Expedition and how he'd never drive a small car because he has bad luck and they're unsafe. He went on and on about why he chose the Expedition over the Escape. I tuned him out and decided that the reasoning had to be based on the size of his small penis. And, well, you know me. I like to call people's bullshit. The guy was like, "I can drink! I drank 15 Guiness in 4 hours when I was in Dublin." And I was all, "Regular or extra cold?" And he looked at me dumbly and said, "In pints...Guiness.." And I was like, "Right...regular or extra cold. There's two kinds." He had apparently never heard of the extra cold and I had to explain it all to him. Bullshitter. Paul thinks I made him cry. Then later he was talking about how he's deathly alergic to cats, but not when he's drinking. I made an ass out of him for that too. My friends who arrived late thought I was being harsh at first. But after playing cards with him, they actually thanked me for being evil.

We came home at 4 am, passed out and got up and noon. It rained today so I really didn't feel like going anwhere.

My Cat the Cartoon Geek

For the last two nights, Shmuffin and I have developed a little ritual. I set the sleep timer on the tv and put on Adult Swim while I try to relax and doze off. Shmuffin has decided to lay by my head and rest his head on my shoulder, facing the tv to watch ATHF with me. He loves it! He just stares and purrs. Everytime Meatwad comes on the screen his eyes get real big and his ears perk up. I can't tell if he's intrigued or hungry. And if I happen to change the channel, he gets up and leaves.

I Am Not Your Seniorita...Tori Last Night

Last night, Paul and I drove to beautiful downtown Camden, NJ to see Tori Amos. It's always a pleasure going to Camden...the projects, the hookers, the poorly labeled street signs.

First we hit Max and Erma's for some sangria, sandwiches and freshly baked cookies. They came out to us fresh from the oven. Amazing! We ended up taking most of them home and they were still just as delicious today. Then we hit the road. After seeing a man freely peeing on the side of Rte 422 (yep, I got a good view of his fling flong) and lots of Thin Lizzy on the way down (it was Phil Linott's birthday) we ended up in Camden, somewhat lost and pulled into the first parking lot we found...$15 (ouch). We looked at some whack job's pictures in the parking lot. Then we came in, entered to win plane tickets from Southwest, bought a t-shirt that says "Potential Sinner" and got our seats. Fan-freaking-tastic seats, dead center about 35 rows back. No one ended up sitting in the seats directly in front of us, so we had an incredibly clear view. The Tweeter Center has now installed two large screens on each side of the stage, which was really nice. On the screen before and between the acts, they had this thing where you could text messages in and they would put them on the screen. That was cool to watch.

The first act was a bunch of hippy chicks called The Like. As we were walking in, someone game me one of their stickers, which was cool. It had this bunny drawing on it. They were pretty good. The second act was the Ditty Bops. Paul hated this. But I loved them. They were cool, but in a way that would require a special occassion to actually listen to them. They're a little vintage and blue grassy. I thought they were cute.

Tori's set list was the best of the four times I saw her. This was all piano and keyboards, no band. That is what I prefer anyway. At one point this girl in front of us asked if her band was there and seemed disappointed when I shook my head no. Blasphemy! She opened with "Original Sinsuality" and finally closed her second encore with Ribbons Undone, two of the few songs on the new CD that I like. She also played the other song that I like called "Goodbye Pisces." I almost fell over when I heard the beginning notes of "Mother" because that was the one song that I really really wanted to hear and it's probably my absolute favorite. She played "Icicle" which is oh so dirty and a lot of songs from Under the Pink, actually. For her covers, she did this part called Tori's Piano Bar (it's what the screen above her head said) and she played "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" and "Tiny Dancer." When she played "Tiny Dancer," I called Griff, because I missed her and I hope she got to hear it because it was so freakin' loud I couldn't tell if she answered her phone or not.

On the way out, this chick was giving out samples of Dentyne Ice and gave us a ton of it. Unfortunately, I put it in the bag and then accidentally spilled the bag tonight and it is now all over my closet. I better go clean that up now.

Talking Sweet About Nothing - Yesterday's Adventure

Paul and I started off on our adventure to Atlantic City to see the Pixies. We were on the road all of an hour before we hit nasty stop and go traffic and got rear ended by a princess and her friends on their way to the mall. We were stunned and really didn't realize what happened at first. Paul, who was king of the one liners yesterday, finally said, "Now why would she do that?" No real damage done, but I'm pretty sure that girl peed her pants. Paul got out of the car and looked at the bumper. Nothing was visibly wrong with either car, but I let out a nasty yell, "Paul, make sure you get her information anyway!" because you just never know. So they exchange info and the girl, who must have said she was sorry like 500 times said, "So now what's going to happen?" And Paul told her that he wasn't going to do anything unless something was wrong. I'm kinda disappointed that he didn't fuck with her more, "Well, now I'm going to call the police and have you written up for following too closely, young lady." She was young. I'm pretty sure she thought we were going to call her parents. It was their insurance info. And I also wonder if she was even supposed to have the car out at all. Needless to say she stayed way back from us until she got off at the King of Prussia exit.

So after a car ride full of silly "how to beat the system in college" stories and a brief nap (by me, not Paul. He was driving), we made it to Atlantic City. The show was at the House of Blues, which is in the Showboat casino. I've never been in that one. We checked the place out a bit and played the slots for a little while. At one point, we were up around $200 on a nickel machine, but we lost it eventually. I hit a big jackpot on the one spin and Paul yelled, "Look at your mellons!" We got coffee and then realized that I left the concert tickets in the car. We went back up to the parking garage, got the tickets and came back. Then Paul showed me the joys of video black jack. And I didn't even break out in hives like I usually do around cards! I found myself playing in a bit of a trance. This little old Asian lady came over and sat next to us and put her player's card in Paul's machine and just sat there and watched him. She didn't say anything to us, just smiled. That could have gone on forever, but we left and made our way to the concert hall.

The House of Blues in Atlantic City just opened a few weeks ago and it's really cool. The general admission floor area is standing room only. And if you're somewhere that you can't see the stage, then it's your own fault. It's set up really well. We actually had seats in the balcony and considered not using them. But then I remembered my low tolerance for people and thought better of it. Even upstairs, there is no bad seat, though.

Before the show started, they were playing this creepy French music and sounded a bit like campy 60's surf stuff, but with these frightening vocals in French. Don't care if I ever hear that again. It freaked me out a little. The opening act was Mark Mulcahy, a guy with an accoustic guitar, a drummer and a hot Irish bass player. The bass player's last name was O'Rourke. I didn't catch his first name and I don't really care. I would just call him "slave" anyway. The group was good, if you like that kind of thing, which I do. The crowd was totally fucking with Mark, though. They asked his name and he said, "Well, we usually just go by my name, Mark Mulcahy, but you can call us whatever you want" And the guy in the crowd said, "Okay, how about Soul Asylum?" And Mark said, "Yes! We're the three children whose faces were on milk cartons that Soul Asylum found." Dude, I'd like to find that bass player in the back seat of my Prius....

Anyway

The Pixies came out and I totally blew the first/last game...and Paul actually got the last song right. I guessed Nimrod's Son (which they didn't even play) to open and U Mass to close, but it was actually Wave of Mutilation (UK Surf version) to open and Gigantic to close. And that's fine. You gotta love a song about big black cock. Throughout the show, Kim Deal kept calling Frank Black by his real name (Charles). I wonder if that pisses him off and if he bitch slaps her back stage for it. And I wonder if she does it deliberately to annoy him. The show was great. I think it was better than the last time I saw them when they were in Camden.

So the show was over and we left. Some chick stepped on the cuff of my jeans and ripped them. I'm just glad that I didn't fall down the steps when she did it.

I offered to drive home at least six times, but Paul insisted that he was okay. I told him that he should try to sleep since he was going into the office today and I was not. He refused and said he was fine. He really hates the way I drive. We just put in some weird old mix CDs and sang along to all these hokey songs that were on them ("I had some dreams they were clouds in my coffee, clouds in my coffee..."). We had a long conversation (well, actually, it was more like Paul giving me a lecture) about how you really have to be careful on this one back road we took to get home. It's hilly and curvey and there are animals on it and stuff. We just got off this road and were about seven miles from home and we saw the lights in the rear view mirror. That's right. We got pulled over.

The cop claims Paul was doing 70, but there was no way. Paul asked for proof and the guy didn't show him the tracking device that he used to time it, just gestured to the ticket and explained how he calculated it. I'm not even positive that he pulled off of the same road that we were on to stop us. My personal theory is that he saw a car driving in the middle of the night and thought it would be a cut and dry DUI case. But no such luck when he pulled us over and didn't smell alcohol because we didn't drink. He didn't immediately tell us why we were pulled over either. It was like he was trying to think of something. I call bullshit. He also didn't write the right date on the ticket. He had it dated for the 3rd, but it was the 4th. Paul is so fighting this one.

And you know what he said when we got home?

"I should have let you drive."

I got to bed around three am. I slept until noon and when I woke up my eyes were so red. I had never seen them this bright red before. I studied a little for the final I have to take tonight. I'm kinda nervous about it. It's my first test in seven years.

Wish me luck!

Hey! Shouldn't You Be Studying? And is that Cheesecake I smell?

Yes and yes. I know. I know...you see that I'm online and not, in fact, reading my boring ass ethics text book.

1. I promise not to embezzel, screw anyone out of their pension, discriminate against anyone because they have a pre-existing medical condition that will drive up insurance costs or because of race, creed, sex, yadda yadda yadda, or knowingly create or sell a product that I know will kill or hurt someone just because legal settlements will be cheaper than fixing the problem. Okay? Can I please have an A now?

2. This is the most boring thing that I've read since Tess of the D'Urbervilles in 9th grade. And I recently found some really interesting things that I really want to read. Please. Stop the torture. I beg you.

3. Yeah, I ate some of my cheesecake. So? Okay, I know I was going to use it to reward myself for doing some of my work. But what am I? Two? This isn't potty training. If I want to eat my fucking cheesecake, I'm going to eat my fucking cheesecake.

Sugar High

Went to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory at the IMAX in KOP tonight. Amazing! Johnny Depp has the most perfect teeth and lips I've ever seen. And he was creeeeeeepy. I liked it. I still love the Gene Wilder Willy Wonka, but this was pretty cool.

Then we went to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner. It was 9:30ish and there was still a wait. The appetizers were good, but my meal sucked. Shawn's right. You just can't get good avacados on the east coast. The ones in CA are so creamy. I ended up taking cheesecake home. Wasn't up to eating it, but didn't want to pass it up. It'll be a good distraction tomorrow after I do a little text book reading (bleh). I hate ethics. I can't believe I'm supposedly learning about ethics from an ambulance chasing lawyer. It's just so wrong.

I got my Prius this week. I love it love it love it. It's really fun to drive and I'm amazed by all the little things on it. Some things (like the push button start and park) took some getting used to. But I'm really enjoying it.

That's about all. Work this week was a little crazy and full of drama. I'm looking forward to a day and a half off this week...and the Pixies concert. I can't wait for the damn Pixies concert. It's at the HOB in AC. I looked at pictures online and it looks so cool. Class will also be over. Just one more class and my test. Can't wait.

Here's to a good upcomping week!

Shouldn't You Be In Bed?

Why yes. Yes I should be, but

A. I just finished cleaning my house. Heather and Dani are going to visit and stay here on Friday night. I'm still going to feel like a big ol' loser on Saturday night with no real plans. Really I should study, but I'll probably go out.

B. G Love AND Perry Farrell were just on the Jimmy Kimmel show. They performed Pets together. I'm going to have to download this. It was really cool. I love G Love. *swoon* He is so hot.

Not So Hershey Park Happy

Today we had our company outing at Hershey. It rained and they basically closed everything down at 2 pm. We only got there at 12. The only thing we really got to ride was the bumper cars and they suck compared to the ones at Knobel's Grove. Then we went to the zoo, but it was pouring so we really only looked at the indoor exhibit which consists of some aligators, turtles and snakes. We had lunch with my coworkers and that was kinda fun. We decided we were going to leave and hit the carousel on the way out. Then we noticed the Comet was running and stood in line for 20 minutes only to have it close down again. Then we left.

The other thing that kinda sucked is that tomorrow Davy Jones from the Monkees is playing in the park. So that's what it's come down to, eh? I would have liked to see it though, even if I've always been a Mickey girl.

We also went to Chocolate World before going to the park. Paul didn't want to, but I always feel like I have to whenever I go there. As we were walking out, we were stopped by a woman from their marketing department. She asked if we would like to participate in a taste test. "Are you from Heaven?" I asked.

The taste test was interesting. They gave us three Miniature sized bars. We were told that two were the same and one was different. We had to answer which we thought was the different one and whether or not we preferred it. Paul and I both had different opinions as to which was the different one. And we'll never know which one of us was right. There were other people in the room and the lady couldn't tell us. She just gave us some more candy and sent us on our way.

Another Ticket Shopping Saturday

I got Pixies tickets! They're at the House of Blues the Wednesady night before my final. Eh, fuck it. I want to go. And the final is open book/open note anyway. Sometimes when I'm sleep deprived I think a little better.

And Ticketmaster can still bite me.

Happy Bastille Day!

Eh, why not?

Paul sent me a basket of daisies today. I was totally surprised. I didn't expect that. And they smell wonderful!!!

Tori, How You Disappoint Me

I finally bothered to get Tori Amos' Beekeeper CD. Blah. It's really long. And it's all starting to sound alike to me...and very similar to Scarlet's Walk.

A not so wise man once asked me, "Why can't we go back to a simpler time?"

Maybe I'll just have to listen to this a few more times, but I'm longing for the Little Earthquake days. That CD has character.

I have to say that I really like the pictures and art in the special edition. I don't know what is different in the regular issue.

Still looking forward to seeing her next month though...and having some time when school is over to read her book.

Where I really was tonight

I hope you all don't think less of me for what I'm about to tell you.

Tonight, I finally went to see Revenge of the Sith...for the first time. And I honestly thought I was the last person in America to see it, but I was wrong. The theater was pretty full. And with the exception of one guy who looked like he was there every night to see it since it opened, I believe others were Sith virgins too.

I really hope you nerds don't disown me for taking so long. I liked it and the time really flew. Although I hated knowing the outcome of everything. It was a little anticlimactic and some parts dragged a little because of this ("Okay okay. I know you both survive this little battle...get on with it..."). And I still wince and yell "Noooo!" any time Yoda falls or appears hurt. Please tell me that puts me back in your dorky good graces.

I came home from the movie and realized that I have a new pet. I found this when I came home for lunch today.



It won't leave. I put Shmuffin out on the porch to try to scare it away. It didn't move. I yelled at it, flipped it the bird (ha! get it?) and nothing. It just looks at me. I guess it has eggs up there. I don't want to hurt it, so I guess I'll just have to leave it alone for now. I'll take it down when it is evident that she's done. And yes, she is still here 13 hours later.

We named her Spike.

Bittersweet

So the good news tonight is that my class was cancelled. The bad news was that I drove 45 minutes to get there only to find a bunch of people from my class walking out telling me it was cancelled. I wasn't entirely sure that these people were actually in my class since I sit in the back and all I ever see are the backs of their heads. So I ducked into the bathroom of the building so that they didn't think I was going back to the classroom to see for myself. I came out, went up the steps and was met by some other guy and he told me that it was cancelled. I think his jaw hit the ground when I said, "Well fuck it then. I'm going to the mall." We walked out together and we talked about the paper that we have to write. Then he started going off on this tangent about how he saw some study about how men who aren't circumcized are more likely to get HIV.

Alrighty then...I'll just chalk that up to information that I can use if ever faced with an uncircumcized penis.

The mall was a bust...the Tower Records seems to have disappeared. I talked to Paul on my cell to tell him in my best (worst) fake Jersey accent that "my claayus was foughKin' cayncelled." (that's the best I can do with the phoenetics, kids...I hope you get the point). While I drove around looking for Tower, it suddenly it hit me that my company supplied the roof for a lot of the buildings around there that I hadn't seen before. I never really get to see what these things look like or what the area is like. I'm like, "That's MY Acme! That's MY Bahama Breeze."

I don't know what is more pathetic, the fact that I was actually pissed that my class was cancelled (I should be celebrating...it's long and boring) or that my first thought was "Damn! I could have vacuumed tonight!"

What the hell is wrong with me?

Happy Canada Day!

It seems like only yesterday I was roaming the streets of Toronto at 3 AM in my socks looking for a store that was still open that sold condoms. It's hard to believe that five years have passed since that fateful search that turned up nothing but two drunk Americans making out on the Sky Dome steps and my continued amore for our neighbors to the north. Canada, I love you despite your prominent flaws (namely Lake Ontario, Bryan Adams and the entire city of Vancouver). Here are some reasons why (in no particular order).

Second Cup Coffee - Okay, so what if it's not really coffee anymore by the time I'm finished with it. It gets cold up there and it keeps me warm, happy and hyper.

Moxy Fruvous - As cool as it is that I got to see their final show, I really wish this band would reunite. If for no other reason than I would get to see Canada's hottest man Jian Ghomeshi (AKA my next husband). Jian, if you ever happen to read this, you should know that I want to have like 10,000 of your babies. So we better get to work. I'm especially a big fan of their early 90's debut, Bargainville. It was love at first note the day I first heard "My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors." How could I resist lyrics that talked about pounding ouzo with Mario Puzo and cuddling up with that lovable junky William S. Burroughs? The CD also has a serious folky side too with songs about the Persian Gulf war and saving the river valley. Liberal and literate Canadian boys are just so hot.

Lacrosse is Canada's National Sport - Most people don't know that, but you can clearly see that in their culture. One time this Canadian lacrosse player was telling me a story about how he thought someone was breaking into his house so he picked up his lacrosse stick to go take look around. Now, had that happened in the states, he would have picked up a baseball bat, not as practical considering that a lacrosse stick has a net that you could use to detain the burglar. And again, lacrosse has brought us some very attractive Canadian men such as Jeff Ratcliffe, Andrew Martin, and everyone's favorite flag burner - Patty "I was only dancing on it to put out the flames" O'Toole.

The street vendors in Canada sell veggie dogs - and there's nothing like them in stores. After our 2000 trip to Toronto for Canada day, I showed up unannounced at Paul's apartment with a pack of veggie dogs and his favorite condiments. Despite not having the same rubbery texture, this was the move that sealed the deal in his heart. I thought for sure showing up unannounced would scare him off. Damn.

Aero Bars are abundant in Canada - Damn you, Nestle! There's a market for them here. You can keep the mint ones, though. They suck.


Molson Canadian twin labels - I have this bad habit of continuing to buy them all night to see what the next one is going to say...yeah, that's the reason. Marketing geniuses!

Canada has a nicer view of Niagara Falls - It's true. There isn't much to see in upstate New York.

Sue Johanson - This woman makes Dr. Ruth look as repressed as Pat Roberston. There's nothing like getting sex advice from a woman who looks like my grandmother and talks dirty in such a matter of fact way. Take, for example, this excerpt from my favorite episode of the Sunday Night Sex Show.

Caller: Uh, I suffer from premature ejaculation, ay... (caller begins rambling about his problems and I suddenly realize that I recognize this guy's voice. Nice fake Canadian accent, "Ben." You are soooo busted!)

Sue: Well, have you tried a cock ring, dear? (Sue then pulls out this big bag full of brightly colored dildos and other sex devices and pulls out a cock ring to make every man watching very uncomfortable)

I couldn't make that up if I tried.

Sports Betting - I'm a girl who is typically afraid of football pools and March Madness brackets, but this is something I can handle. Pick the winner of three of the day's games (typically baseball or hockey...when there is a hockey season, that is) and your winnings are based on the odds of the game. Don't be put off by that. The computer calculates it for you. Now if only betting on pro lacrosse was an option...

The Kids In the Hall - This show has great characters like Buddy Cole and Kathy with a K (who looks suspiciously like me coworder Cathy with a C) and some great writing and comedic timing ("Mo mo, do you like working here?" "Oh yes! Everyone is so flamable!"). It never gets old, either. *Gasp!* I had the pear dream again.

Crocodile Rock - Yes, I know. Every major city seems to have a bar that goes by this name (thank you, Queenie Elton), but this place is awesome! First off ladies, check your men at the border because this is a total sausage factory and a major ego boost. I believe I was there for all of about 10 minutes by the time three guys hit on me (including a little Frenchy that my husband nicknamed Jean Claude Van Dumbass). It was at this place that I danced with Paul for the first time. And afterward, outside was the first time he told me that he loved me (probably out of fear that I was going to hook up with Jean Claude...it took him another four months to say it again).

Degrassi - It goes there. From the original low budget, bad acting Degrassi Junior High to the shinier newer Degrassi the Next Generation, this show is great for all the wrong reasons. How does everything happen to the same characters at the same school? Take Kathleen from the original series. Okay, let's see, her mom was an alcoholic, she developed an eating disorder, she took what she thought was some sort of drug only to find out that it was just an over the counter medicine and her boyfriend smacked her up a bit (and frankly, who could blame him? She was fucking annoying). And then there's the token teenage mom whose baby daddy takes the diaper money and goes to a concert, drops acid and becomes mentally damaged for life after taking a long walk off of a short bridge. It goes to show that even though they live in the glorious country of Canada, life still sucks.

On tonight's episode, little Emma is all grown up and contracting gonorrhea by becoming Degrassi's blowjob queen. This episode ran nearly a year ago in Canada. Here in the states, we have to wait. And fill in episodes of the now defunct Radio Free Roscoe don't quite reach the same level of cheese. I guess I should be happy that they're even running the episode at all considering an episode about the school slut's abortion was canned on The - N.

I could go on and on about Wayne Gretzky, the beauty of Ottawa, the legality of gay marriages, universal health care, the club district in Montreal and my love affair with the Eaton Centre. But I won't. You'll just have to take a trip and discover some of that joy for yourself.

Bennett Toyota Strikes Again

I love it.

I got this email today that they are coming up 10 cars short for their monthly goals. Bwahahahahaha.

So I sent a "nice" email back saying that I ordered the car from a dealership that offered me much much more money on my trade. I was sure to mention that the car I ordered was exactly the same car that I test drove and that that was unfortunate for them, considering how close they are to their goals and all. Then I kindly asked them to remove me from their list.

Losers.

Oy With the Anxiety Already

Tomorrow is my first day of school. I'm nervous for some reason. It's just a six week summer deal and it's not like it's my first class in the program or anything. I know absolutely nothing about this professor because he adjunct. There's nothing about him on www.ratemyprofessor.com. Nothing. If he's a tool, I'm not going back. I'll just drop it and take the summer off.

I can't concentrate today for some reason. My mind keeps wandering. The day is passing quickly at least.

The garage door would not close last nigh and then I pulled on the manual release lever (does that sound dirty to anyone else? No? Okay, I'm a perv) and it crashed. Yikes. The guy will be coming tomorrow or later in the week to fix it. I just can't win with this house lately, but for the most part it's a great place.

Paul is going to Mexico next month for work and I'm trying to figure out what I want to do while he's gone. I priced flights to Seeeeeeaaaaaatttlle to go see Jam, but they're too expensive at this point. I could go to New York or I could stick with the idea of just staying home and throwing a party, but I don't know what everyone else is doing, nor do I know what is going to be going on with school at that point because the adjunct tool of a professor probably has no idea how to use blackboard and hasn't given us the syllabus yet. I guess I'll know better tomorrow.

Off to go breathe into a paperbag....

Don't Look Back in Anger...My Oasis Concert Recap

Ick. No wonder I slept until 1 pm today. After seeing humanity at its worse, I'd rather just stay in bed with my cat sleeping at my feet. He's happy and peaceful and not the least be pretentious. Anyway, here goes.

We bought these concert tickets on our way to Rochester in February. Our friend Jimmy was with us and asked to come along. Jimmy, whose last name is Polish for "talks too much" normally makes me feel like this whenever he's around. But Jimmy was actually cool to hang out with last night and so not the problem.

The show was at Festival Pier in Philly. Prior to last night I had never been there. We got there super early having no clue as to what the parking situation would be. We grabbed beer and wraps at Cavanaugh's River Deck, which was actually pretty cool and then drank in the parking lot for a while. Then we went in.

Something to know about Festival Pier. Worst. Venue. Ever. The stage is on land that slopes backwards. Unless you are very close up front, you will see nothing. And if you're on the shorter side, like me, well, you're totally fucked.

Some odd things that I noticed during the show: I looked down on the ground and next to an empty plastic beer bottle was a pepper shaker, they played the theme song to the Banana Splits between acts, and at one point during Jet (the opening act) some guy blatantly slammed into my back, put his arm around me to apologize. Paul said he was checking me out, but I think he was trying to read the expression on my face which was a cross between, "You're fucking douche bag" and "Wow. You're hot." But a lot of men get that look from me...

Anyway, sometime after Jet played and my buzz had long worn out, these two Amazon women decided to stand directly in front of me. The one, who I will refer to as Stupid Bitch lit a cigarette and decided to hold it over her head. She was moving around, basically not paying any attention to anyone around her and damn near burned me. I kept telling Paul, "That bitch better move or she is going down." Paul, in a move that was totally unlike him, taps the girl and says, "Watch you're doing with that!" And of course I jumped and said, "Yeah you almost burned me." She gave some lame half hearted apology and carried on exactly as she was. There was another short person standing next to us, who also seemed quite annoyed. I just kept on running my mouth as I sometimes tend to do when stupid strangers annoy me. The stupid, Stupid Bitch actually turned around, with a bit of hostility I might add, and said, "Look, I'm sorry I almost burned you, ok?!?!" That was it. I told her to move if she had any intention of enjoying herself for the rest of the night. She actually said, "No. You move. I was here first." And I said, "No you stupid fucking bitch. I've been here since 7 o'fuckingclock. You just walked over here and stood right in front of me. You better move because I am so fucking pissed at you right now, you fucking bitch that I will take you down." Okay...not my proudest moment. But it was like 90 degrees. I was annoyed and, well, she was fucking bitch. She just looked at me and said, "Yeah, you probably could. Enjoy the show," and turned around. I gave her the finger. Kicked some garbage at her and eventually as the band came on she moved closer to the stage. Whatever.

So, I let it go. Tried to get into the show, but I couldn't see a fucking thing. Then, this gigantic (well over 6 feet tall and built) British guy who was wandering around decided to stop directly in front of me and Paul. So, Paul taps him on the shoulder and gives him this shrug like, "how fucking ignorant are you?" But the guy doesn't get it. So I kicked a beer bottle into him and elbowed him as I turned around to talk to Paul. The guy then turns to Paul and says, "Are you kidding me? *You're* kicking me?!?!" And I said, "No, I kicked you mother fucker." But he didn't say anything to me. Then some other asshole comes and actually stands right between me and Paul. I practically stepped on him and he started yelling at me and I said, "Why don't you move, you're kind of in my way?!?!" So he did. Then the British guy moved behind us and apologized to Paul, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bug you." And I felt bad for kicking him. Damn he was hot...but anyway...

About the music - They were good, not as good as U2, but good. I wish I could have actually seen them, but whatever. They closed with My Generation. I don't understand why every group that I go see anymore covers the Who, but whatever. They played Don't Look Back in Anger as the second to last song of the encore. That is my favorite, and just seemed so appropriate.

The bottom line is that I don't care if George Harrison and John Lennon rise from the dead and have a free Beatles reunion at fucking Festival Pier. I'm not going. I wouldn't go if I was Joe Santiago's personal guest if the Pixies decided to ever play in Philadelphia again. Not happening. It's a sucky place.

And why am I so goddamned angry lately? I just have no tolerance for anyone or anything anymore. I need to think some more about this...

Woo Hoo! I Got Tori Tickets!

Center section, 24th row.

And Ticketmaster can bite my ass.

The Joys of Being a Ho Moaner

So today I came home for lunch, as I usally do. I came down stairs to check my email and heard what sounded like a faucet running...from the part of the (finished) basement where the piping is. I opened the door to the little room built around the piping and discovered water pouring out of a joint in the piping. AAAAAGGGGHHH!! I couldn't even think. It took me a second to even realize wher the bucket is.

Long story short, the plumber came, looked at it and said, "I don't even know what the piece is." Greeeeaaaat! He ended up installing a new pipe ($60) and only $15 for labor. So I guess it wasn't *so* bad. But I got back to work late. It's a good thing it's been dead there the last few days...and that I went home for lunch.

Let's Say Bad Things About People Who Will Never Read This

1. The Amish

I am so sick of your bikes and horses and buggies slowing traffic down. In my world, time doesn't wait. I'm annoyed at the fact that I practically have to do bookkeeping for some of your businesses just because I have a computer and I'm able to use it. And you smell like b.o. and cow shit.

2. The Illiterate

I simply don't understand how you function. There are times when I am too vain to wear my glasses and need help reading menus and signs and things. What the fuck do you do in the situations? Why do you trust me when you come into my office and expect me to write out your check for you? I mean, obviously I'm an asshole or I wouldn't be writing this. Don't you feel like you're missing out on a huge part of life? Don't you feel like you've cheated yourself? Or do you simply not care at all? Did you actually *go* to school? I mean, I don't remember not being able to read...I know it was before Kindergarten. I'd have some respect for you if you at least tried to learn. But to just expect to be able to lean on the rest of us to get you through annoys the hell out of me.

I Can't Believe I'm Awake and Smiling

So last night, I went out with my former step cousin Heather (her mom's second husband was my dad's cousin...please let me know if you need a diagram). Heather and I haven't been out in ages. So I primped and dolled myself up and got ready. We ended up being late because Wachovia Bank is full of fuckers. He received his new ATM card yesterday, but his PIN was reset and now he can't use the card, all because the acccount expired since they hadn't sent him a card in the first place (again, I can draw a diagram...). And when he called to find out why the card wouldn't work, they told him that he should get the PIN number in the mail tomorrw. Um...we don't get mail on Sundays...

Anyway, we show up late because of all this, stole a table from another section, and sat ourselves down in the middle of a weird situation. On the other side of the table from me was Heather's husband, her ex-husband and some random hot guy in between them. Heather introduces me to the hot guy and through conversation we discover that he works for one of my customers...but a good customer, meaning I really don't have to deal with them. We order food, drink a little and then we go to the Maingate because Heather wants to dance.

We show up at the Maingate and we are by far the youngest people there. By far! I'm like, "Hey where's the after party? At a geriatrics home?" and "When are they going to open the bingo room?" On the dance floor is a guy who looks suspiciously like Al Roker the weather guy and he was wearing a fanny pack dancing by himself. In fact, the Al look alike was the only guy on the dance floor. They were playing dance songs from about 9 or 10 years ago, which I don't mind exactly because I actually know those songs. So as the dance floor gained a few people and our alcohol levels increased, we danced a little.

Then this other guy and girl that were with us said that they wanted to go to Croc Rocks. Since pretty girls always get their own way, we left. Paul was worried about running into his parents anyway. We told them that if they were looking for a younger crowd, Phoebe Home was right down the street. When we got to Croc Rocks, we discoverd Crystal Roxx was playing. I hate them. At least I used to, they might be better now, but I'll never know because I watched them do one bad Alice In Chains cover and we went downstairs. Heather talked me into getting up with her to sing some gay Shania Twain song that I don't know in the karaoke room. I didn't know how the song went so I just kinda stood there like Ashlee Simpson (minus the hoe down) with the microphone down by my side.

Heather kept whining that she wanted to dance but couldn't because the dance rooms were playing bad music and no one was in them, so we went back to the Maingate. They let us right back in because, for whatever reason, they remembered us. It was a little more crowded and younger at this point. There are a few bars in there and when I ordered a Miller Lite, this one lady gave me a draft. She said that was all they had, but in the meantime, there were bottles on the other side of the room. Bitch.

We danced a little. I tried to get Paul to dance a little by threatening to dance with the hot guy, but that didn't work. I don't really think he cared. And besides, the hot guy was on the prowl, but all of the girls he was trying to dance with kept ignoring him. That was actually kind of entertaining. Heather and I were smashed by this point. We left and came home.

I woke up this morning and not only am I not hung over (I really don't get hangovers...I can actually count the number of times that I've had them and tell you specifically what I did that night and how much I drank), but my batteries are fully charged and I am full of energy! I guess I should get going to so I can get stuff done.

I Did It!

I bought the car. It will be here in 6-8 weeks.

The dealership I went to tonight, Performance Toyota in Sinking Springs, is family owned. They were all really nice. The finance guy used to work for the same company I worked at when I graduated from college. AND they offered me $2700 for the Fuckus! A far cry from $1100. And it's actually more than I thought I was going to get. Although, I didn't have a choice about buying the floor mats. But I still came out slightly ahead of what I was thinking.

I really didn't expect to do it today, but I did. It seems to be working out. I hope I don't jinx it.

I Love a Good Wedding

Dave's wedding was fantastic! Open bar...bad dance music...good friends. We were drunk and dancing and goofy. It made me realize how much I really miss everyone. I've been so distant lately.

I also realized how much Amy and I have drifted. It seems like ever since she and Chris got together we have talked and hung out less and less. I don't know if it's just that she's always been so wrapped up in the whole thing, or if it's the weirdness because he and I dated very very briefly (but not brief enough if you know what I mean. ). But that all shouldn't matter. I'm the one who encouraged her to go for it. The fact that it didn't work with me doesn't mean that it wouldn't work with her. And it seems to be working well. I just want to see my friend happy. But I really wish we were close again.

We met Maggie's new man, but I really don't have an opinion on him yet. Brenda was a drunken mess. Everyone seems kind of worried about her. She's had a rough couple of months. It seems as though she hardly eats and looks like a skeleton. I just hope she pulls herself together soon.

And we've decided that anything below the PA turnpike should belong to Maryland. I mean, for God's sake there were people eating grits at Denny's this morning.

The Toyota Dealership called AGAIN yesterday morning and sent two emails. Hahahahaha. I'm also so bored right now I'm half tempted to take a ride to see if the car is still there. I've made a firm decision that I don't want it. I'm going to order one. This one had some extra stuff that drove up the price that I really don't need, like a cargo net and I believe floor mats. Screw that. So, maybe I'll even leave a voice mail or send another email and just say that I've decided to order and I'm giving that order to whoever gives me the best price on the trade. The message from the sales guy was pretty amusing, "I realize now that we were a little light on the trade..." Light? Ha! You were STINGY! I'm going to tell him that too.

It's all just fun and games now...

Now We're Talking...The Neverending Saga of My Car Quest

So...I told on them.

This lady from Bennett Toyota, who originally answered my online info request, called me this morning to find out how last night went. So I told her that I really liked the car, but they were too stingy on the trade and that I knew I could do better.

I just got a call from the sales manager and he offered $1800. I said no. I told him that I was planning on just ordering it and shopping it around for whoever gives me the best deal. Suddenly he went up to $2000. I told him I'll talk to Paul, but I forgot to get his name. Whoops. He'll probably call back. I wanted to call my bank and shop for a rate anyway.

$1100?!?!? Are You Kidding Me?!?!?

So, I did it. I test drove the Prius. Nice! Like driving a spaceship...not that I've ever driven a space ship, but well, you know. And it was the color and package that I wanted. It just so happened that the deal fell through with another customer and they had it in stock. It felt a little crazy and impulsive, but I damn near bought it.

I say damn near because the jerk off at Bennett Toyota in Bethlehem only wanted to give me $1100 for the Fuckus. Bastard! I should have printed out the Kelly Blue Book quote that was for $3000 and at the very least, he could have given me $2000 for it. But he wouldn't budge. The only other options that he gave me was to put more down or stretch the payments out longer. Fuck that. Not happening.

So here's the deal. I'm going to test drive a Civic...just out of curiousity. I'm 99% sold on the Prius. I'm just going to contact a bunch of dealers and shop around for a better trade in. Whoever gives it to me gets the sale. If I get nowhere, I'll see what Honda is willing to do.

Guess What Came in the Mail Today

That's right...another recall notice for my ass car. Actually, this is a reminder notice, which would indicate that they already sent the real notice. I don't recall seeing it.

I probably shouldn't say this, but I think my cold is actually going away. This wasn't so bad...Of course, tomorrow death will probably be upon me since I said that.

Paul is coming home tonight. I'm going to have to share my blankets again.

I'm Too High Maintenance for the Movies...and a Review

Yeah, I know it's been an ongoing theme lately, but people really annoy me. I went to and early movie tonight. Wanted to see the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants (yes, I'm really a 12 year old girl). Oy vey.

First, there was this 300 pound woman and her preteen daughter sitting next to me. The daughter, not so bad with the exception of her constant sniffle. Blow your nose, bitch. I felt kinda bad for her because I could tell her mother really embarassed her. And rightfully so. First the mother disappeared for the first 10 minutes then came back at the part when they were discussing the rules of the pants and starts talking...not whispering...talking in a full loud voice, in Spanish. Rude rude rude! And yeah, that's right, I shushed her! *I* the typical loud obnoxious bitch actually shushed someone. And the lady sitting in front of me (who, coincidentally I had overheard teaching her little girl how to properly behave during movies before it began, going over a list of rules...no talking being the first) turned around and gave me a look like she wanted to give me a high five.

Anyway...the movie...what a fucking disappointment! I should preface this by saying that I read the book. They totally bastardized it to the point where it really wasn't the same story...character motivations changed, etc. Some of my favorite things about the book were completely wiped and redone (like the part where Baily tells Tibby to keep playing...instead she tells her to finish her movie...lame lame lame). Lena's story was unrecognizable. Awful! And there was no guinea pig!

Ok...it wasn't as bad as the book to movie version of Less Than Zero, where the only thing the movie character's have in common with the book characters are their names. And it was a different kind of disappontment than Fear and Loathing where you realize that the only part that was cut was the best part (you know...that chapter where they are going to the fast food places asking where they can find the American Dream). But it was bad. So if you read the book, I would suggest staying away.

And yeah, I still cried at the sad parts. And I have a new found respect for Amber Tamblyn (although I still can't get the image of her screaming "Stop! Thief!" out of my head). I really like her hair...even the blue streaks.

But the movie still sucked. The end.